BWAHAHA 3/21 – 3/27

BWAHAHA (Blair’s Week Attempts at Haha’s) 3/21 – 3/27: Ah, Spring… when the bugs come out and start mating, when the birds wake you up in the morning because they’re honry and O’Dark Thirty, when the smell of freshly mowed dogshit wafts in the gentle breezes and everyone starts their sneezes. Ah… Spring.

My grass literally went from brown to needing to be mowed in a week. Not even a week after mowing my grass for the first time… freezing temps. Fuckin’ weather! At least I got to do a little bit of chasing as the cold front came through. Nothing major, just chasing cloud formations. Many people think storm chasers are about the tornadoes. Don’t get me wrong, the tornado is the icing on the cake on top of a cherry on a sundae, but we chase for the sky: the clouds, the rain, the cloud formations, the beauty, etc. I’ll chase on a partly cloud day just to watch the beauty of the tiny clouds rolling around in the sky. It’s the Troposphere that gets us excited: Tornadoes just send us over the top.

Speaking of storms, don’t forget to check out my new blog entry for this upcoming storm season: North Alabama: Are You Storm Ready?

OTHER STUFF:

• 

  Declaring war against Sweet Gum Balls. #Napalm

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  Being a responsible pyromaniac. Sitting here with a shovel until the burn is done. Beautiful day for it.

• Whoever in the Aviwxchasers.Com car keeps saying “it’s large,” they remind me of the movie Popeye.

140 CHARACTER ASSASSINATIONS:

• I will not read comments on news items about Ted Cruz. I will not read comments on news items about Ted Cruz. I will not read comments… #Cruz2016
• Senator Ted Cruz’n for a bruz’n #Cruz2016

@MIDNIGHT #HASHTAGWARS:

• “Take On Windows ME” by A-ha ‪#‎InternetASong‬ @midnight
• “Ocean Blue Waffle” by ABC ‪#‎InternetASong‬ @midnight
• “Mexican Pandora” by Wall of Voodoo ‪#‎InternetASong‬ @midnight
• “Ride Like The Windows Explorer” by Christopher Cross ‪#‎InternetASong‬ @midnight
• “Bette Davis iTunes” by Kim Carnes ‪#‎InternetASong‬ @midnight
• “WWW, WWW, WWW, WWW” by Crash Test Dummies ‪#‎InternetASong‬ @midnight
• “(Nothing But) 1800Flowers.Com” by Talking Heads ‪#‎InternetASong‬ @midnight
• “Just A Googleo (I Ain’t Got Nobody)” by David Lee Roth ‪#‎InternetASong‬ @midnight
• “Huffington Post Post Modern Man” by DEVO ‪#‎InternetASong‬ @midnight
• “Doll-Dagga BuzzFeed-BuzzFeed Ziggety-Zag” by Marilyn Manson ‪#‎InternetASong‬ @midnight
• “Amazoned and Confused” by Neil Diamon ‪#‎InternetASong‬ @midnight
• “Instagram Club Hit (You’ll Dance to Anything)” by The Dead Milkmen ‪#‎InternetASong‬ @midnight

BWAHAHA: 9/27 – 10/3

BWAHAHA (Blair’s Week Attempts at Haha’s) 9/27 – 10/3: Did you catch the NOAA Ocean Explorer live on 9/29? If not, you missed some really cool science: cool in the sense of scientists learning new stuff and discovering new attributes to known species: all live. It was some pretty amazing stuff.

Ebola arrived in the United States this week and people reacted as expected: ignorance and fear mongering. Look, you’re ignorant of the facts, I get that, but instead of reacting in ignorance, why not pick up a fucking science book or go online to an actual science-based medical web page (in other words, not “Natural News”) and learn about how Ebola works, is transferred, what it’s carrier rate is, etc. And you’ll find that there’s no reason to panic or be afraid here in the U.S. where we have infrastructure in place. But instead, you’ll spout off stupid shit on your Facebook page, making Chimpanzees appear more intelligent than you.

Cumin and Cinnamon look too much alike. Last week my girlfriend accidentally added cinnamon to her chicken salad. This week I accidentally added cumin to my milkshake instead of cinnamon. Luckily I realized my mistake quickly and didn’t put too much in. But here’s the weird part… it actually tasted really good. So we decided to transfer the cinnamon from the store bottle to our own glass bottle. No more mistaking the two.

OTHER STUFF

I probably just mowed my grass for the last time this season… but I’ll be mowing leaves for months.

#MentionYourGirlSoNobodyStealsHer is trending. Sigh. Women are not property. Only property can be stolen. Just tell her that you love her.

Oh no, my PS3 is getting buggy and crashing. This is not allowed, because I can’t afford a PS4. C’mon technology gods, smile upon me!

CDC confirms first Ebola case in U.S.: time to go buy all the bread and milk at the grocery store.

Ebola case in Dallas, TX. Conservatives blaming illegal immigrants in 3… 2… 1…

CDC confirms Ebola in U.S.: Conservatives blaming Obama or MSNBC in 3… 2… 1…

Mother Nature has refused to give me a storm for almost a month. It’ll probably storm while I’m camping in 2 weeks; she’s mean like that.

Apparently the Rapture happened yesterday, but only black kids were taken, so no one noticed.

Regarding Ebola in Dallas: “I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.” – Ripley

140 CHARACTER ASSASSINATIONS

I Love Pucy #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow #1950s
The Twilight Tone #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow #1950s
Leave It to Beaner #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow #1950s
The Boy Rogers Show #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow #1950s
Sea Cunt #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow #1950s #TooSoon
This is Your Wife #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow #1950s
The Bob Dope Show #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow #1950s
The Honeymoaners #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow #1950s
The Bone Ranger #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow #1950s
Fragnet #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow #1950s
The Perry Homo Show #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow #1950s
The Hickey House Club #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow #1950s

The Beverly Pillbillies #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow #1960s
I Cream of Jeannie #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow #1960s
Stay Trek #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow #1960s
The Virginman #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow #1960s
My Three Sins #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow #1960s
Hogan’s Herpes #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow #1960s
The Bollywood Squares #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow #1960s
Fister Ed #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow #1960s
The Perv Griffin Show #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow #1960s
Thunderbards #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow #1960s

Little Mouse on the Prairie #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow #1970s
Happy Gays #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow #1970s
The Nukes of Hazzard #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow #1970s
Starsky And Butch #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow #1970s
The Six Million Hollar Man #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow #1970s
Wander Woman #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow #1970s
The Love Goat #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow #1970s
Welcome Back, Potter #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow #1970s #Hogwarts
The Incredible Bulk #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow #1970s

Dull House #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow #1980s
Poonlighting #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow #1980s
Who’s the Hoss? #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow #1980s
Males from the Crypt #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow #1980s
The B-Team #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow #1980s
Ramington Steele #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow #1980s

Mom and Jerry #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow
As The World Burns #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow
Captain Wangaroo #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow
Gays of our Lives #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow
The Flintstoned #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow
Fister Rogers’ Neighborhood #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow
The Pride is Right #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow
The Puppet Show #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow
Reading Painbow #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow

University Studios #BadThemeParks @midnight
Lush Gardens #BadThemeParks @midnight
Disney’s Ipecac Center #BadThemeParks @midnight

CAPTION CENTRAL

How police interact with black people when the police don’t have guns…

New evidence surfaces regarding the decline in polar bear numbers…