BWAHAHA 2/21 – 2/27

Mar1

BWAHAHA (Blair’s Week Attempts at Haha’s) 2/21 – 2/27: I guess all that panic was worth it since Snowmageddon actually happened here in Alabama. Average snowfall for my area was 7.75″ with some places reporting over 9″. In my backyard we got 7.67″ (based on the average of five measurements on a large flat non-grass & non-concrete surface). That’s a lot of snow for Alabama. Our personal record at our house was 11.96″ back in 2011. The record for Huntsville was set in the 60’s at 17.1″. Craziness!!!! I’ll put up a blog entry for my storm chasing that day. And now we’ll likely get some more ice and snow this coming Wednesday and Thursday. Well, I guess we had it coming since we started issuing gay marriage licenses. <evil grin>

This week brought me a ray of happiness and sunshine as Jimmy did this on his show. One of the things that pisses me off the most is anti-vaxxers who espouse their ignorance every day and cause more and more people to fall for their claptrap, thus reducing herd immunity and bringing back diseases we had practically eliminated thanks to vaccines. So to see this on a mainstream show put a giant grin on my face. Way to go Jimmy!!!!

Then I found this gem. I don’t know how I missed this back in 2008, but I’m happy I found it today.

OTHER STUFF:

This storm is taking forever to get here. From 0300 to 0900 and now extended again. If it sits over us as long as it sat over Texas, we could see inches on the higher side of the “possible.” Or it’ll just fucking rain.
C’mon… you can do it! C’mon! C’mon! C’mon! My laughter will be covering up tears if it just frickin’ rains here.
If you work out of the home, a “snow day” don’t mean a damn thing. Enjoy your day off assholes! ;)
A lot of people are talking about their sexual exploits from last night on social media. We don’t care how many inches you got last night!
“I’ve noticed that about your people, Doctor. You find it easier to understand the death of one than the death of a million.” ‪#‎RIPSpock

140 CHARACTER ASSASSINATIONS:

Momma said knock you out, Rick gonna knock you out! ‪#‎TWD‬ ‪#‎TheWalkingDead‬ ‪#‎deadbuzz‬
Wait… now I’m confused, is the ISIS Flag black and white or gold and blue? #TheDress
Look at these gold-colored starving children! ‪#‎TheDress‬

@MIDNIGHT #HASHTAGWARS:

Playing Chicken With Doing Dishes ‪#‎RoommatesIn5Words‬ @midnight
Oh, rents due? My bad. ‪#‎RoommatesIn5Words‬ @midnight
What is that fucking smell? ‪#‎RoommatesIn5Words‬ @midnight

CAPTION CENTRAL:

That’s the appropriate level of security for those toys.
Oh look, the bathroom comes with an atheist baby changing station! (Mmm… BBQ baby!)
It’s cool ’til a drunk person stumbles and impales themselves. Of course, if it’s a good party, no one will notice.

BWAHAHA 12/27 – 1/2:

Jan7

BWAHAHA (Blair’s Week Attempts at Haha’s) 12/27 – 1/2: I was too busy enjoying the post-holidays to do jack this week. I ignored Twitter and television and just enjoyed my time with Suzie and my friends. I threw a New Year’s Eve party to ring in 2015 with my favorite people. We sang karaoke, drink alcohol, ate some goodies, and had a generally awesome time. I even got to do a bit of storm chasing!

2014 will certainly be missed, as it was a good year, but I’m looking forward to what 2015 brings to Suzie and I as we continue to grow together. So enjoy the tiny bit of shit I did this last week…

OTHER STUFF:

2 shots Whipped Cream Vodka, 1 shot Amaretto, 30 drops Frostbite Hot Sauce, fill rest of cup with lemonade. BAM! You’re welcome.
Turn your keyboard upside down. Now shake it. A lot. Ewww…. you should do that more often.
My New Year’s resolution is 1080p.
Seen on Facebook, “And I highly doubt that it’s the sun that actually causes cancer.” I’m weeping for science education right now.
While my keyboard is getting a bath and drying, my temporary keyboard is driving me crazy since I’m not used to the keys and layout.

BWAHAHA 11/1 – 11/7:

Nov8

BWAHAHA (Blair’s Week Attempts at Haha’s) 11/1 – 11/7: How is it I went 43 years in life without ever encountering the different varieties of pumpkins? We get stuck with these silly orange ones every year, when there are a ton of creepier and better pumpkin species out there! The Jarrahdale, Marina de Chioggia, Queensland Blue, Old Boer White, Cotton Candy, etc are all creepier (or cooler) looking than the standard orange pumpkins. Thank you random fruit stand in Tennessee for introducing me to black, blue, white, gray, green, brown, beige, red, and so many swirls and patterns of pumpkins that I had never seen or encountered before.

I don’t watch the news anymore. But based on the posts of friends, I should probably be really fucking pissed right now. But I’m not, because I truly no longer give a shit. I have decided that people are going to continue to fuck themselves over and there’s not a damn thing I or anyone else can do about it. Rational people just don’t have the motivation for voter turnout because we don’t have the giant thrusting dildos of gods, gays, and guns up our asses. Nor do we have the stupid emotionality (yeah, I made that fucking word up, get over it) of anti-abortion, pro-creationism, pro-pray at every thing regardless of who you offend nonsense in us to motivate us to vote for people who take advantage of those very emotions, but in the long run fuck us over, but we’ll ignore it, because they hate gays and think global warming is fake like we do. So yep… let ’em fuck over the country and I’ll sit in my house and watch. And when they’re ready to join the adult world, where reality is kind of a thing, I’ll be ready to help.

Also, don’t forget to mark your calendars and come on out on November 17th at 8 pm to Maggie Meyers’ in Huntsville for awesome comedian Carlos Valencia! Opening up for Carlos is me, Tom Hand, Nate Bailie, and Jonathan Craig with your host Matthew Tate. The show is FREE!!!!

OTHER STUFF:

Marina de Chioggia & Old Boer White pumpkins we bought in Tennessee

I’m pretty sure the guy in the hotel room adjacent to me has Ebola.

Didn’t use the heater in the car the entire time in Pennsylvania. Come home to Alabama, heater is on full heat. Brrrrrrr

Swingers’ clubs should expect an uptick after husbands convince their wives to “do it for their health.”

I had to mow the lawn before lunch in a jacket, hat, and gloves. Yes, the grass needed it. Bonus: no leaves to rake now. #alwx #HSV

After numerous searches on the Internet, I have concluded that I have Ebola. The Internet is never wrong. I’m searching on FOX News. They never lie. Ever. Not once. Not in a million years. Nope. Not FOX.

The dog was literally eating a piece of her own shit. A full piece, in her mouth, chomping on it. I think I’m going to vomit now.

My health insurance deductible is going up to $1,000. I never have $1,000. That means I no longer have health insurance.

140 CHARACTER ASSASSINATION:

Beth “Mean Joe” Greene #TheWalkingDead

I’ve never been asked to show my receipt when walking out of Walmart. #WhitePrivilege

#HASHTAGWARS @MIDNIGHT:

Bud Lite Abbott #RuinAComedian @midnight

Kirstie Back Alley #RuinAComedian @midnight

‘Lil John Belushi #RuinAComedian @midnight

George Bush Burns #RuinAComedian @midnight

John Eye Candy #RuinAComedian @midnight

Charlie Manson Chaplin #RuinAComedian @midnight

Sacha Baron Münchhausen Cohen #RuinAComedian @midnight

Weird Al Yanksonit #RuinAComedian @midnight

Big Gulp Revolution #NYCIn3Words @midnight

Always Wear Shoes #NYCIn3Words @midnight

Gentrification Geriatrification Gangification #NYCIn3Words @midnight

It’s New Amsterdam! #NYCIn3Words @midnight

Glacial Deposit Land #NYCIn3Words @midnight #BecauseSCIENCE

Sandy Blew Me #NYCIn3Words @midnight

Fucking 9/11 Tourists #NYCIn3Words @midnight

Parks Were Cemeteries #NYCIn3Words @midnight

Commuting’s A Bitch #NYCIn3Words @midnight

Einstein’s Eyeballs Here! #NYCIn3Words @midnight

Catcalling A Sport #NYCIn3Words @midnight

CAPTION CENTRAL:

Republican Fire Department

“Who wants to come sit next to me? Barry? Gerry? Larry? Teri? C’mon, don’t be shy boys!”

Here honey, let me get that for you…

Wait, when did Pope Ratzinger have a kid?

Catching Up: 20110109 Huntsville Snow

Jul11

Continuing the catching up series of old weather photos. You can click on any photo to see the full size version.

January of 2011 brought a lot of snow to North Alabama: almost 12″ in some places. My back yard saw 9″. It’s rare that snow in Alabama lasts on the ground for more than a few hours, but this snow stuck with us for almost two weeks.

20110109 Huntsville Snow: