BWAHAHA: 8/23 – 8/29

BWAHAHA (Blair’s Week Attempts at Haha’s) 8/23 – 8/29: This was a pretty fun week all things considered. We’ve unpacked more boxes, got more work done on the bathroom, decorated the home some more, and I doing better at my water aerobics class. I’m still the skinniest person in the class, so still helping out my confidence! Got to go storm chasing a few times this week, but mostly Mother Nature was just being a dick and sending all the good stuff somewhere else.

And then there’s the serious stuff: more videos surfacing of cops being stupid and engaging in unnecessary violence with excessive force. I have been a lifelong defender of police because there are good cops out there and it’s easy to fall into confirmation bias of “all cops are bad” because we only see the bad. Are police brutality instances actually on the rise, or is the predominance of cell phones capturing more of what was already there? That’s hard to say definitively, but one thing is for sure, it’s getting harder and harder to defend police in general when more of this crazy shit is happening. Protect and serve people. That’s your fucking job: protect and serve.

OTHER STUFF:

This little guy was like, “Hey look at me! Oh, never mind.” HSV #alwx

Mother Nature hates me. All that awesome so far away.

Woman just said, “I have a cute anus.” I replied, “Well, I suppose that’s better than a chronic anus.”

Waiter, there’s a cloud in my tea. #ForeverVaping

When I see people type OMG, the first I think is, “Oh, you’re down to zero nicotine now?” Then I realize my head is in the clouds. #ForeverVaping

140 CHARACTER ASSASSINATIONS:

Standard pic of downed chimney during any CA earthquake. #NapaQuake

“Only God can judge me.” Sure, keep telling yourself that to not feel guilty, but we’re all judging the hell out of you.

The Twilight Movies #ThingsBetterThanManchesterUnited

German Horse Porn #ThingsBetterThanManchesterUnited

Manchester Disenfranchised #ThingsBetterThanManchesterUnited

Malaysian Airlines #ThingsBetterThanManchesterUnited

The Titanic #ThingsBetterThanManchesterUnited

Rodney Dangerfield’s Ladybugs #ThingsBetterThanManchesterUnited

The Hindenburg #ThingsBetterThanManchesterUnited

The Cure Bred #DogBands @midnight

The Happee Pad Mondays #DogBands @midnight

Collar Me Badd #DogBands @midnight

Earth, Wind & Fire Hydrant #DogBands @midnight

Seven Dalmatian Army #DogBands @midnight

Dog Food Fighters #DogBands @midnight

Irish Setter Than Ezra #DogBands @midnight

Great Dane’s Addiction #DogBands @midnight

New Yorkie Dolls #DogBands @midnight

The Mutthole Surfers #DogBands @midnight

Flogging Collies #DogBands @midnight

Bone Loc #DogBands @midnight

Miami Hound Machine #DogBands @midnight

Flock of Beagles #DogBands @midnight

Black Eye Fleas #DogBands @midnight

Culture Kennel Club #DogBands @midnight

Tina Turner & Hooch #DogBands @midnight

Raining in Nashville. The Titans can blame the rain for the football just getting stripped by the Vikings.

Water Sports Illustrated #RuinAMagazine @midnight

Autoeroticmobile Magazine #RuinAMagazine @midnight

Pot Rod #RuinAMagazine @midnight

Hot Rod Stewart #RuinAMagazine @midnight

Motorboat Trend #RuinAMagazine @midnight

Motor Trendy Bitches #RuinAMagazine @midnight

Road & Crack #RuinAMagazine @midnight

Nipsliplinger’s Personal Finance #RuinAMagazine @midnight

Smack Enterprise #RuinAMagazine @midnight

Boobberg Businesstweak #RuinAMagazine @midnight

Consummate Reports #RuinAMagazine @midnight

Entrepremanure #RuinAMagazine @midnight

Crack and Pill #RuinAMagazine @midnight

Nickelbackodeon Magazine #RuinAMagazine @midnight

Stranger Rick #RuinAMagazine @midnight

Stone Cold Steve Austin Soup #RuinAMagazine @midnight

Entertain Men Weekly #RuinAMagazine @midnight

Nope Chopra Digest #RuinAMagazine @midnight #SkepticsUnderstand

KY Glide #RuinAMagazine @midnight

Bon Jovi Appétit #RuinAMagazine @midnight

Taste of Gnome #RuinAMagazine @midnight

The Daily Teabagger #RuinAMagazine @midnight

Klan Magazine #RuinAMagazine @midnight

Peephole #RuinAMagazine @midnight

Puss Weekly #RuinAMagazine @midnight

Penn’s Health #RuinAMagazine @pennjillette @midnight

Cosmopolitician #RuinAMagazine @midnight

Ladies’ Home Invasion Journal #RuinAMagazine @midnight

Modern Booty #RuinAMagazine @midnight

American White Heritage #RuinAMagazine @midnight

Slutterbug #RuinAMagazine @midnight

Freebirders World #RuinAMagazine #LynyrdSkynyrdSucks @midnight

Better Homes and Arsons #RuinAMagazine @midnight

CAPTION CENTRAL:

Tonight’s Chef Special.

[sniff] “They’ve outgrown me.” [sniff]

They see me skatin’
Ain’t farmin’
We Prayin’
And they jealous of me skatin’ Amish
Wanna be me racin’ Amish

Puppies: just like veal. #NationalDogDay #NotHelpingStereotypes

I keep warning you people all the time and yet you don’t listen! Always be aware of your surroundings!

In Britain, they use a different type of “gun” when interacting with the black community.

Flower Power!

BWAHAHA: 8/9 – 8/15

BWAHAHA (Blair’s Week Attempts at Haha’s) 8/9 – 8/15: What a crazy ass week! Ferguson, Missouri goes bonkers (see link in other stuff for my views), Robin Williams died, the Louisville Purge happened, and I finally fixed the toilet in the guest bathroom!

I hope you had a chance to follow #LouisvillePurge on Twitter or listen to the Louisville Metro Police Department’s scanner online. While there were plenty of concerns that the Louisville Purge was real, it became obvious rather quickly that the overwhelming majority of calls being placed to 911 were prank calls. There were a few legitimate calls, which seemed to be teenagers doing stupid shit (we’ve all been there, so don’t judge too harshly). Some of the calls were hilarious and listening to the dispatcher trying not to laugh on several of the calls was pretty comical as well. But after a while you could hear the irritation set in as they got tired of chasing down ghosts from prank callers. Yes, it was funny, but it was also fucked up, because for every prank call made to 911, that was an officer who wasn’t available for a legitimate breaking & entering, robbery, shooting (there was at least one confirmed drive-by shooting), domestic violence call, etc. No matter what was or was not done, one thing was clear: the Louisville Metro Police Department handled the situation with the utmost professionalism (further shaming the Ferguson Police Department). I’ve put my Tweets from the Louisville Purge separately below. Hopefully you followed along Friday night so you get most of the references. If you didn’t follow along Friday night, I’ll at least explain the Melman references. It was reported that a giraffe was freed from the Louisville Zoo and was roaming the streets (obviously a fake call or a troll Tweet).

OTHER STUFF

My review of Into the Storm

My blog post on Ferguson: Ferguson, Police Militarization, and Shame

Find out why Ancient Aliens is bullshit and takes advantage of your ignorance and gullibility (trust me, it’s worth the three hour video),

#TBT All of this has happened before, and it will all happen again. #Ferguson #StandStrong #FirstAmendment

LOUISVILLE PURGE: If you didn’t follow along on Twitter and on the LMPD Scanner, then you may not get some of these references, but the rest of us were laughing our asses off all night. These are in the order that I sent them out, so they follow the events as they unfolded.

I’m torn between worrying and laughing my ass off. #LouisvillePurge #BeerAndPickles

Carrying swords and weapons. Um, you don’t bring a sword to a gunfight! #LouisvillePurge #BeerAndPickles

White male with a machete and weapons. #LouisvillePurge #BeerAndPickles #SwordsAndWeapons

Don’t know if the #LouisvillePurge is real or not? Good skepticism. So listen and make a determination.

If the #LouisvillePurge is real, the LMPD are handling it like professionals and processing calls as fast as they can.

Having sexual relations with a kitty-cat. #LouisvillePurge #Pranking911 #BeersAndPickles

“So y’all need to hide yo kids, hide yo wife, and hide yo husband cause they rapin’ everykitty out here.” #LouisvillePurge

All players from the Louisville Cardinals traded to Yomiuri Giants. #LouisvillePurge

Giraffe turns himself into local hospital, swearing he got sick touching the streets. #LouisvillePurge #Melman

It’s obvious that a lot of the 911 calls are pranks, which is fucked up, but there are legitimate calls as well. #LouisvillePurge

Oh no, now they coming for Little Caesars’ Pizza! Purge! Purge! #LouisvillePurge

Is Papa John ready for The Purge? Because Little Caesars’ Pizza is all Purge! Purge! #LouisvillePurge

It’s all good, the giraffe found his way home! #LouisvillePurge #Melman

The only purge you get when eating Papa John’s Pizza is the purge a few hours later on the toilet. #LouisvillePurge

Apparently if all the pizza joints had handed out free pizza, there’d be no #LouisvillePurge

Never Forget! #LouisvillePurge

Now we know who stole that beer and pickles earlier: the freed giraffe! #LouisvillePurge

No Pat Robertson, it’s not the Rapture, just the #LouisvillePurge #HideYourKitties #HideYourBeer #HideYourLittleCaesarsPizza

This whole thing was just a misunderstanding, all he wanted was a drink! #LouisvilleSurge #LouisvillePurge

#LMPD doing a hella job chasing down all the prank calls, but starting to hear the irritation in their voices. #LouisvillePurge

Gotta purge this nasty juice from my mod! #LouisvillePurge #ForeverVaping

140 CHARACTER ASSASSINATIONS

Bandits everywhere in the tomb, but all the urns, chests, and cabinets are still covered in treasure. #GameLogic

l’abricot: (French) – Where you take turns sleeping while running sensitive experiments overnight in the laboratory.

“They’re always angry about something. No matter what they get, they’re always angry.” Rush Limbaugh said that? Really? #Irony #CheckTheMirror

I’m the only male in my water aerobics class. Other than the instructor, I’m the skinniest person in there. #ConfidenceBuilding

Why am I still up? I’m catching up on #Ferguson on Twitter, because that’s somehow the best news source on it. #StandStrong #FirstAmendment

Lt. Louisville Surge (Matis Machisu) #WorsePokemon #LouisvillePurge @midnight

CAPTION CENTRAL

Join the military they said. Girls like guys in uniform they said. I’m gonna punch “they” in the face.

Madison County Schools have introduced door-to-door bus service this year.

You’re too young to drive and too young to drink. Did he listen? No. He did both, now he’s crashed his car and life.