BWAHAHA 12/20 – 12/26:

Dec28

BWAHAHA (Blair’s Week Attempts at Haha’s) 12/20 – 12/26: My GF stumbled upon one of the best written articles I’ve ever seen written about white privilege for white people – by a white person. Remember, privilege isn’t an insult or a bad word. What’s important is that you recognize that you have it and more importantly, that others do not have it (be that white, male, class, etc). Read the article HERE.

So this week was Christmas. I’m one of those atheists who celebrates Christmas. Why? Because no one goes to the mall to sit on Jesus’ lap, that’s why. So what’d you get for Christmas? My friends and my GF got me a lot of stuff I’ll need for the Zombiepocalypse (or camping) and plenty of vaping stuff. I got a tactical vest, tactical leg pouch, 9-in-1 shovel (it comes with a fucking bayonet!), 35-LED light stick, three 10-LED head lamps, camp stove, Aspire Atlantis tank (and five replacement coils), a gift certificate to Professor Vapes (located in Madison, AL), a full body massage at the Chinese Massage place in Huntsville, and a new cutlery set for my kitchen. I did pretty damn good this Christmas!

My friends and I watched The Interview this week (no spoilers, I promise). There were some pretty good laughs throughout the movie. If you are one of my fellow liberals who was worried about a movie showing an assassination of a sitting leader, you should actually watch the movie. It’s not what you expect. I won’t spoil it, just watch it and stop jumping to the wrong conclusions. The Interview has tons of in-your-face and hidden social commentary about diplomacy, foreign policy, media, etc. The Interview is social commentary wrapped in comedy and slapstick. Don’t let the terrorists win! Watch The Interview!

I did get to do a little bit of storm chasing this week, but Alabama proved to be frustrating as always when it comes to chasing storms. At least I got to test out the new AcuRite. It’s designed to mount in your backyard, but I mounted it on the roof of my car. Worked like a champ! Thanks AcuRite!

OTHER STUFF:

Out and about and I left my wallet at home. Guess I’m not eating or accomplishing anything. #EarlyAlzheimers
Thanks to Old Time Pottery, I have more glitter on me than Tinker Bell.
Some Christmas music I actually like!
Chasing in Alabama is frustrating. If the cell doesn’t dissipate, trees block the view or farmer John holds up traffic.
Something to do on the next camping trip… and by trip… I mean acid trip.
Normally we go eat Chinese buffet on Christmas Day with friends. But we found out that Indian Palace is open today! Yep, that trumps Chinese!
Who ordered the rain donut?

140 CHARACTER ASSASSINATIONS:

Tripster: a hipster in training.
Mutant: someone who participates in a mutiny.
Kumquats are amazing. It’s like a pear and a tangerine had sex.
At Joe Cocker’s funeral, you can leave your hat on. #RIPJoeCocker
Thanks to smart phones, awkward silences aren’t that awkward anymore.

CAPTION CENTRAL:

I can’t tell… is she keeping his hand warm or is he keeping her butt warm? Or is it more a symbiotic relationship?
Do you even hack, bro?!?!
Stand back! I’m about to try a physics experiment!

BWAHAHA 11/22 – 11/28:

Nov29

BWAHAHA (Blair’s Week Attempts at Haha’s) 11/22 – 11/28: Racists didn’t fail us this last week and easily identified themselves for deletion, unfriending, blocking, etc. Look, I don’t care if you think Darren Wilson was innocent or guilty. I really don’t. But what I do care about is if you’re so fucking stupid that you actually think he’s a hero. I also care if you’re referring to rioting black people as “animals” but when white people destroy a city after their favorite sports team wins or loses, you refer to them as “stupid drunk kids.” I don’t care if you have privilege, because there’s nothing wrong with privilege, per se, the problem is when you don’t recognize your privilege and you don’t recognize the lack of privilege in others. If you think because you grew up in a trailer park with an alcoholic redneck dad that somehow you’re not a privileged white male… well, you’re a twit who doesn’t understand how privilege actually works and you’re making an ass of yourself. So just shut up. Please.

I spent most of this week avoiding social media to avoid getting pissed at idiots. Also because of Thanksgiving. So I didn’t participate in any Caption Central, #HashtagWar, etc. So… small blog entry this week. I hope everyone had a safe and awesome Turkey Day!

OTHER STUFF:

I’m a magnet for these morons. It’s as if they don’t see me. This moron not only pulled out in front of me, but pulled so far out into the center lane that it looked like he was going left and I was in the clear. Then… turns right in front of me. Luckily I was paying attention and didn’t hit him.
I’m on a woo woo train heading to Wooville. Definitely getting off at the next stop. Okay, can’t get off that easy, someone send Steven Segal to come rescue me. I’m totally under siege.
White privilege rearing it’s head in stupid Facebook comments in 5… 4… 3… 2…
I was feeling a little down yesterday and needed a pick-me-up. So I called a taxi.
After dusting the furniture, my Man Card was restored when I saved the day by fixing the vacuum. ‪#‎SexistChores‬
I think I’m the only one actively using ‘Ello. It’s like talking to myself in there.
Reminiscing back to the days when Hip Hop was actually good and I was breakdancing in Junior High.
I hate that stores are open making people work on Thanksgiving. I just bought a cherry pie at Kroger. ‪#‎SelfAwareHypocrite‬
Enjoying the Cloupor T8! Hits great with massive clouds. #ForeverVaping

BWAHAHA 10/18 – 10/24:

Oct26

BWAHAHA (Blair’s Week Attempts at Haha’s) 10/18 – 10/24: I spent all week in Pittsburgh, PA, mostly bored out of my mind. What kills me is not that I had to go there, but that my being there didn’t accomplish a damn thing. The facility didn’t get their side done and we didn’t get the job completed because of it – so now my ass has to travel back to Pittsburgh for a third fucking week. On the bright side, I found an amazing Vanilla flavor for my Vape! Vanilla Pseudo Custard from VapePGH Inc in Pittsburgh is the best vanilla flavored vape juice I have ever tried. It’s very close to a vanilla creamer and it’s awesomely smooth.

Why do we only use orange pumpkins for Halloween and for carving? And how in the fuck did I go through 43 years of life without ever knowing that there were different kinds, varieties and species of pumpkins? Thanks to some random fruit stand in Tennessee, I now know about all sorts of awesome pumpkin species that are much creepier looking than the plane-Jane orange variety we get at our grocery stores. Black, green, brown, grey, blue, red, and tons of swirls and patterns and weird growths, all make for some amazing pumpkins out there. We bought a Marina de Chioggia and White Boer to bring home with us. The Marina de Chioggia is just really creepy looking. I’ll throw a picture of the two pumpkins we bought below in “Other Stuff.”

On November 17th, comedian Carlos Valencia is coming to Huntsville, Alabama! The show is free and you should definitely come out and see Carlos. Carlos is fucking brilliant. Opening for Carlos is myself, Nate Bailie, Tom Hand, and Jonathan Craig with host Matthew Tate.

OTHER STUFF:

New tag arrived today! Ready for the 2015 storm season!

Need to plunder something. Yes, bartender, I’ll take a Me & Coke, please.

Enjoying some Captain and vape! #ForeverVaping

The Marina de Chioggia (top) and White Boer (bottom) pumpkins.

140 CHARACTER ASSASSINATION:

Shorten the season, no more series games, five innings, add tackling, and let women play. #ImprovedBaseball @midnight

Replace the baseball with a Golden Snitch #ImprovedBaseball @midnight

No more delaying or postponing games for severe weather. Lightning is just Mother Nature yelling “You’re OUT!” #ImprovedBaseball @midnight

To steal a base you have to actually take the base with you. Tagging a player out is then called a petty theft. #ImprovedBaseball @midnight

Replace stadiums with a living room and a PS4. #ImprovedBaseball @midnight

Extend football season, get rid of baseball. #ImprovedBaseball @midnight

Whiffle Ball! #ImprovedBaseball @midnight

The catcher has to stand in a small plot of Rye. #ImprovedBaseball @midnight

The outfielders have to take a vacation far away with Josie. #ImprovedBaseball @midnight

Take Me Out to the Ball Game replaced by Row Row Row Your Boat. #ImprovedBaseball @midnight

#IfICouldTimeTravel I’d talk Hitler out of having a mustache. Maybe a goatee instead. @midnight

#IfICouldTimeTravel I’d teach Neal Armstrong how to moonwalk so he could do it on the moon. @midnight

#IfICouldTimeTravel I’d get in a lifeboat and steal Rose’s necklace after Jack drowns. @midnight

#IfICouldTimeTravel I’d find the mammal that survied the meteor impact 65 million years ago and kill it. @midnight

#IfICouldTimeTravel I’d get Emperor Xuanzong to yell “KAAAAHHHHHNNNNNNNN!” just as Ghengis entered the gates of Caizhou. @midnight

#IfICouldTimeTravel I’d change the books to call him Alexander the Okay. @midnight

#IfICouldTimeTravel I’d give jet engine technology to America in 1939. #FoxOne #SplashZero @midnight

#IfICouldTimeTravel I’d convince Mr. and Mrs. Black to get an abortion… on Friday. @midnight

#IfICouldTimeTravel I’d convert Jesus to Hare Krishna. Then handing out flowers at the airport would be normal. @midnight

#IfICouldTimeTravel I’d convince Monica to wear a red dress instead. @midnight

#IfICouldTimeTravel I wouldn’t change a thing. I’d just eat popcorn and enjoy the stupid humans show. @midnight

Jesus comes back and pulls an Oprah, “You get to live! You get to live! And you get to live! #LameApocalypses @midnight

The llama population skyrockets out of control, they eat all the vegetation. It’s the Llamapocalypse #LameApocalypses @midnight

The alien accidentally drops the snow globe containing our universe. #LameApocalypses @midnight

God farts again and a new universe is created inside our universe. Turns out physicists, it’s a flatuverse. #LameApocalypses @midnight

Zombies arrive, but they’re vegetarians and eat only GRAIINNNSSSS!!!!! #LameApocalypses @midnight

Muslims and Christians meet at Megido for the final battle of World Cup Soccer. #LameApocalypses @midnight

Scientist works out way to make penises bigger, but it eliminates testosterone in men: big penis, no sex drive. #LameApocalypses @midnight

Turns out gluten is what’s keeping the zombiepocalypse at bay. A hippie fad starts it all. #LameApocalypses @midnight

A new fungus affects and kills all coffee beans. #LameApocalypses @midnight

George Lucas decides to remake Episode III with an all new cast and super CGI. #LameApocalypses @midnight

Jesus returns with Hitler and says, “Everyone is forgiven!” Everyone flips Jesus off and go about their lives. #LameApocalypses @midnight

CAPTION CENTRAL:

We’re all gonna die!!!!!!

BWAHAHA: 8/23 – 8/29

Aug30

BWAHAHA (Blair’s Week Attempts at Haha’s) 8/23 – 8/29: This was a pretty fun week all things considered. We’ve unpacked more boxes, got more work done on the bathroom, decorated the home some more, and I doing better at my water aerobics class. I’m still the skinniest person in the class, so still helping out my confidence! Got to go storm chasing a few times this week, but mostly Mother Nature was just being a dick and sending all the good stuff somewhere else.

And then there’s the serious stuff: more videos surfacing of cops being stupid and engaging in unnecessary violence with excessive force. I have been a lifelong defender of police because there are good cops out there and it’s easy to fall into confirmation bias of “all cops are bad” because we only see the bad. Are police brutality instances actually on the rise, or is the predominance of cell phones capturing more of what was already there? That’s hard to say definitively, but one thing is for sure, it’s getting harder and harder to defend police in general when more of this crazy shit is happening. Protect and serve people. That’s your fucking job: protect and serve.

OTHER STUFF: