BWAHAHA: 8/17 – 8/23

BWAHAHA: 8/17 – 8/23 – This was a pretty slow week for me, not to mention I got Dark Arisen, so was pretty much living inside the cavernous Bitterblack Isle chasing monsters and getting my ass handed to me by Goreclops and other giant creatures.


* New episode of The Critical Eye Podcast is up!


* “They hardly falter in their assault!” Said while zombies attacked, but I’m sure he was referring to Republicans.

* My DragonCon schedule is 4 bands, 1 comedy show, and a shit ton of Zombies. Yes, Zombies is capitalized. Duh!

* When I lived in SoCal, San Diego was considered a touchy-feely town. Seems someone took that literally.

* A man survived being hit by a Chicago-bound train. Since it was going to Chicago, I’m surprised it wasn’t a bullet train.

* News is like, “Damn, no kids were killed… quick, come up with another angle to keep people in their seats and scared!”


* I was a guest on the Apartment J Podcast!


* Don’t Walk So Fast, performing all the songs of Rush! #FatTributeBands

* First Class Passengers, performing all the songs of Aerosmith! #FatTributeBands

* Feastie Boys, performing all the songs of the Beastie Boys! #FatTributeBands

* Vanilla Ice Cream, performing all the songs of Vanilla Ice! #FatTributeBands

* Rascal DMC, performing all the songs of Run DMC! #FatTributeBands

* I hope I get to see something this awesome at #DragonCon! #Handicapable #StarWars #NerdNation



* Apparently Jersey Girl was a movie about Bruce Wayne lowering his standards to working class girls. Good call #KevinSmith!

* Posted the audio from my appearance at the Homegrown Comedy Show!

* Posted the audio from my appearance at the Clockwork Comedy Show!

* Just dawned on me that I haven’t had a thing to eat all day. Clearly something must be wrong with me.

This week on Twitter (2/22 – 3/1)

This week’s attempt to be funny on Twitter from 2/22 to 3/1 (posted in order of Tweets).


Bukakke Balls #RejectedCereals

Necrophiliabits #RejectedCereals

Cumquats #RejectedCereals

Dino Dongs #RejectedCereals

Dexter Splatter Bits #RejectedCereals

Too Good for Ethiopians #RejectedCereals

Rusty Wagon Wheels #RejectedCereals @ThatKevinSmith @RalphGarman

Rice KKKrispies #RejectedCereals

Bear Naked #RejectedCereals … oh wait, Kashi actually used that. Silly Kashi.


The psych profiles of everyone in the laundromat lead me to one conclusion: I’m on the set of Winnie the Pooh.

If we are so opposed to eating horse meat, then why do we say, “I’m so hungry I could eat a horse?”

christianmingle: boring women, hindumingle: Kama Sutra site, jewmingle: international banking, muslimmingle: blend in then press the button


#Daytona500 making rednecks redneckier since 1959. Well, at least it teaches them one shape from geometry.

#YouDidntStartFromTheBottomIf your shit rolled down hill at all.

#YouDidntStartFromTheBottomIf you ever ate a Puddin’ Pop.

#YouDidntStartFromTheBottomIf your family had a color television before 1972.

Hollywood version of the Red Tent? #redcarpet

Thank you #Oscars2013 for letting me know which movies I won’t like and won’t watch!

Wait? Why isn’t #curbstomp trending after #TheWalkingDead?


Trending on Twitter: #ThingsGirlsLike. Oh, that should go over like a 9-year-old cunt joke!


Finished writing my new bits: New Gas Oven, Pink Palace, and Stinky Simon. Try them tonight at Coppertopia Comedy!

She’s on a mission to figure out why a few African-Americans actually support the Republican Party: on the next #DonnaBrazileMysteries

Yay! My Internet is back up! Mediacom works in mysterious ways, so says their manual, chapter 7, verses 5-6. Amen!


I love that my new E-Cig flavor allows me to say, “I’m sucking on Vanilla Ice.”

Alright, who forgot to put milk on the list! #Budget2013

Veggies? We don’t need no veggies! Let’s just keep buying giant steaks! #Budget2013 #DefenseSpending


Okay Facebook, just because I’m in a relationship doesn’t mean you can start advertising engagement rings on my page. Sheesh!

Pat Robertson has convinced me to stop buying used panties from Japan: they may have demons in them. #BatShitCrazyPeople