“Skyrim belongs to the Nords!” – Trump’s America

“I can’t believe we let Provincials like you wander around Skyrim.” – Trump Supporters

I’ve been playing Skyrim again lately. This time on the PS4. As I’ve been playing through again, it has struck me how many social issues are addressed in the game and how there are quite a few similarities between Skyrim and where the United States is right now.

The Empire is the United States government, full of rules, laws, regulations, accords, and treaties that not everyone agrees with. It has its flaws and it can’t please everyone all the time. Sometimes the rules, even if they came from a well-intended idea, just don’t work well, or violate the rights of citizens (can you say Patriot Act?).

skyrimlogonegativeThe Stormcloaks are Trump supporters. They have some valid grievances. They make a few decent points about how the Empire has left them behind, how the smaller cities face economic challenges that larger cities like Solitude don’t face: where “elites” have forgotten the farmers and miners, who have been hit the hardest by bad economic times.

While the inability to practice one’s Talos worship freely has been actually banned by the Empire thanks to the White-Gold Concordant (the Skyrim equivalent of the boogeyman UN for the New World Order conspiracy theorists), many Trump supporters feel like their religious beliefs are under attack by “liberal elites.” Of course here in America, that’s simply not true.

People think that the fact they cannot force their religious beliefs on others or use their religion to discriminate in the business world, that somehow their religious beliefs are under attack. The fact that you can’t force others to adhere to your beliefs, especially through law, doesn’t mean your religion is illegal or under attack: it means your religion is YOURS. YOU have a constitutional right to believe what you want, not make others adhere to your beliefs.

Opposed to abortion for religious reasons, then don’t get an abortion. Opposed to birth control for religious reasons, then don’t use birth control. Opposed to homosexuality because of religious reasons, then don’t put your lips around a penis. Your religious opposition is yours and yours alone, that’s your constitutional rights, but others have a constitutional right as well to not agree with your religious beliefs and to live their lives to their own accord. But I digress…

The valid concerns and points that the Stormcloaks have are diminished because of the other elements behind and intermingled within their movement.

First and foremost is the willingness to use violence to overthrow the tyranny of government. Never mind the fact that the government is not tyrannical (although now that Trump’s in office it might actually go that way – the irony of creating a tyranny while thinking you were getting rid of one). How many of your Trump supporting friends and family were ranting about overthrowing the government if “Killary” won? How many of them were buying more guns and ammo waiting for the revolution to start? How many are looking forward to the day they can exercise their Second Amendment rights to overthrow the government (without concern for the innocent lives that would be lost in such a battle), regardless of the fact that they clearly have no idea what “tyrannical” actually means.

The second is the underlying racism. When the Empire says “true sons and daughters” they mean anyone who lives in the Empire and supports it, regardless of their species or race or ethnicity. When the Stormcloaks say “true sons and daughters” they mean Nords: white people. They hate Provincials and outsiders. Do all Stormcloak supporters hate outsiders? Do all Stormcloaks despise every Argonian, Kajit, or Elf they meet? Of course not. However, they’re openly supporting a cause led by Ulfric, a man who does nothing to assist anyone who is not Nord. Ulfirc, who willingly allows Dark Elves to be treated badly and live in The Grey Quarter, a special part of his city (aka forced segregation). The Grey Quarter is pretty much synonymous with ghetto. This racism can even be heard by the guards. Empire guards will say, “Stay out of trouble Argonian,” while Stormcloak guards say, “Stay out of trouble lizard.” Empire guards refer to Kajit correctly and Stormcloak guards refer to Kajit as cats.

I feel for the Stormcloaks. I really do. They have some legitimate gripes and grievances. However, I cannot support their cause because of the blatant racism and racist undertones. I cannot support their cause because of their inability to understand the consequences of their actions and how it will affect their fellow countrymen and women. They want to burn the system down and replace it with what? In our modern real-life comparison, they elected someone who promised to “drain the swamp” and then immediately filled his surrounding space with insiders and lobbyists and his fellow billionaires. He made it swampier. He then selected white nationalists, concreting what those of us not in denial already knew: he is a racist.

Now the Stormcloaks are in charge in America. The racist element is running around engaging in hate crimes across the country: going after the easy to identify targets first: Argonian, Kajit, Dark Elf, etc. How long before they start going after the Provincials, who aren’t as easily identified by their skin color (or scales)?

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Texas Secession? The Woes of Texanistan.

Texas

So Brexit has all the Texit folks mumbling and groaning again. Sigh…

Okay secessionists. See, here’s the thing. Let’s pretend that you actually seceded from the UNITED States of America (you know, UNITED, as in a whole country, which means secession is the most un-American thing you can actually do). What would happen?

If Texas succeeded in seceding, it would collapse and become a third-world country within a year or two. A few years after failing Texans would be begging to become part of the UNITED States again.

Why would Texas fail?

1. EVERY single United States Armed Forces base in Texas would be shut down. Not only destroying local economies, but killing off hundreds of thousands of jobs associated with those economies (and civilians working on the bases). Say goodbye to Fort Hood, Goodfellow Air Force Base, Sheppard Air Force Base, NAS Corpus Christi, NAS Kingsville, Laughlin Air Force Base, Lackland Air Force Base, Martindale Army Air Field, Camp Bullis, US Marine Corps Reserve Centers, Recruiting centers for all armed forces, Brooks City Air Force Base, Dyess Air Force Base, Randolph Air Force Base, Camp Bowie, Camp Mabry, Camp Stanley, Camp Swift, Fort Bliss, Fort Sam Houston, Red River Army Depot, JRB Fort Worth, NS Ingleside. All those communities hit hard with vacated houses, massive loss of tax revenue, etc.

2. NASA would be gone. Say goodbye to the Johnson Space Center and all the businesses and jobs that support it. Say goodbye to all the engineers and scientists who will move to a new NASA location (either one already existing or a new one that will be built). Thousands of jobs gone, hundreds of homes vacated, significant loss of tax revenue.

3. The Coast Guard and all Homeland Security assets would be gone. Say goodbye to the Coast Guard in Corpus Christi, El Paso, Galveston, Houston, Port Arthur, and South Padre Island. If you need rescuing, hopefully the local county police have a boat or helicopter to come get you. Or maybe the UNITED States Coast Guard based in Louisiana will feel bad for you and come get you. Maybe. After all, they do rescue Cuban refugees. But you’d be deported back to Texas after processing.

4. The US Marshal Service, FBI, DEA, and other federal law enforcement agencies would leave Texas. No point in protecting a place that’s not in the UNITED States of America. Thousands of jobs gone. Maybe a lot of them will get lucky and moved to other states? But those that move no longer provide tax revenue to the newly named Texanistan.

5. All federal funding for education, roads, maintenance, disaster relief, etc would be gone. No more FEMA funds for San Marcos or Houston or Austin when they flood. No more federal disaster dollars after a hurricane, tornado, or seven-year drought. You think Texas roads are bad now? Wait until Texanistan has to foot 100% of the bill instead of 30-50% of it. And you think Texas school suck now? Man, wait until Texanistan celebrates the end of the Dept of Education by gutting science. I mean, who needs science since NASA no longer is in Texanistan?

6. A significant chunk of businesses would leave because they would need access to the American market – not just Texas. This would specifically affect any companies with a UNITED States government contract (mostly defense). All those companies would be forced to move outside of Texas in order to maintain their contracts with the federal government. And since there will be a massive brain drain once secession happens, a lot of tech companies will leave as well so that they can find educated employees.

7. Texanistan would no longer be privy or part to any of the treaties and agreements the United States has with bordering countries and countries around the world. That means every Texan would have to get a passport to travel to Oklahoma, Louisiana, etc. Texas would have to negotiate its own trade agreements, but until then it would be hit with every major pre-trade agreement tariff and tax. Have fun draining the coffer just to get Chinese goods in that are now suddenly two times more expensive because of extra tariffs.

8. Speaking of those borders, say goodbye to the US Border Patrol, you know those federal officers who “keep the Mexicans out?” Yeah, well, at least Texanistan has plenty of gun-toting “Minute men” (I’m pretty sure that’s a sexual reference) to take care of those ferners.

9. Say goodbye to all those customs agents at the border and shipyards as well.

10. Speaking of customs agents, what about all those shipyards that have federal contracts? I guess that work will go to Louisiana and Alabama (they could use the extra money). Maybe the cruise lines will still come in after Texanistan spends five years negotiating a new contract? After all, Texanistan would be a foreign country, so there are international laws they’d have to follow in negotiating a new porting contract with the Texanistan government.

11. Radar coverage and flood warnings and tornado warnings? You need those? Yeah, too bad. The NATIONAL Weather Service just left as well. Maybe Bobby Joe with his rain gauge on his mud truck can take care of the weather forecasting for you. Then everyone can “Heehaw” as the tornado siren.

12. Say goodbye to Social Security checks when you retire. Say goodbye to Medicaid/Medicare as well. Say goodbye to every federal benefit you were looking forward to. Federal scholarships, federal flood insurance (there is no private flood insurance, BTW, so good luck with all that Texas flooding).

I could go on and on, but I think you get the gist. Now I’m sure there’s a lot of secessionists reading this list and yelling “Hell yeah!” for every departure I’ve mentioned. That’s all fine and dandy until they no longer get their Social Security, Medicaid, or food stamps or disaster relief.

Be careful what you wish for. You just may regret it.

Stupid Hurts 001

Music Time! “LOVE” Edition (Part One)! 6/14/16

Diverse Hands

My Facebook feed has been so full of hatred lately. Hate toward “libtards,” hate toward “Republitards,” hate toward the LGBT community, hate toward political candidates or politicians, hate toward gun owners or anti-gun advocates. Remember when public tragedies brought us together? I guess the political discourse has gotten to the point that even after a tragedy we can’t come together as a nation anymore.

We need love: not hate. So my morning will be filled with love songs:

ARTIST: Happy Mondays
SONG: Sunshine and Love
ALBUM: …Yes, Please!
YEAR: 1992

ARTIST: Green Day
SONG: Oh Love
ALBUM: !UNO!
YEAR: 2012

ARTIST: !distain
SONG: Black Mountain Love Affair
ALBUM: 25 Frames A Second (Expanded Edition)
YEAR: 2004

ARTIST: Wolfsheim
SONG: Ruby, Don’t Take Your Love To Town
ALBUM: 55578
YEAR: 1995

ARTIST: Erasure
SONG: Lay All Your Love On Me
ALBUM: Abba-Esque
YEAR: 1992

ARTIST: ABC
SONG: Look of Love, The (Part I)
ALBUM: Absolutely ABC: Best of ABC
YEAR: 1982 (Song)

ARTIST: Code 64
SONG: Love Sees No Colour
ALBUM: Accelerate EP
YEAR: 2013

ARTIST: Men Without Hats
SONG: I’m In Love
ALBUM: The Adventures Of Women & Men Without Hate In The 21st Century
YEAR: 1989

ARTIST: Bronski Beat
SONG: I Fee Love
ALBUM: Age of Consent
YEAR: 1983

ARTIST: IAMX
SONG: This Will Make You Love Again
ALBUM: The Alternative
YEAR: 2006

ARTIST: Future Holotape
SONG: Summer In Love
ALBUM: Analog Renegades
YEAR: 2014

ARTIST: Visage
SONG: Again We Love
ALBUM: The Anvil
YEAR: 1982

ARTIST: The Presets
SONG: This Boy’s in Love
ALBUM: Apocalypso
YEAR: 2008

ARTIST: informatik
SONG: My True Love (Pulse State Mix)
ALBUM: Arena
YEAR: 2009

ARTIST: Atlantic Popes
SONG: Love
ALBUM: Atlantic Popes
YEAR: 2000

ARTIST: Boytronic
SONG: Love Remains
ALBUM: Autotunes
YEAR: 2002

ARTIST: Blancmange
SONG: Don’t You Love It All?
ALBUM: Believe You Me (Remastered)
YEAR: 1985

ARTIST: A Flock of Seagulls
SONG: Space Age Love Song
ALBUM: The Best of A Flock of Seagulls
YEAR: 1982 (song)

ARTIST: Cutting Crew
SONG: I’ve Been In Love Before
ALBUM: The Best of Cutting Crew
YEAR: 1987

ARTIST: Howard Jones
SONG: Everlasting Love
ALBUM: The Best of Howard Jones
YEAR: 1989

BWAHAHA: 9/27 – 10/3

BWAHAHA (Blair’s Week Attempts at Haha’s) 9/27 – 10/3: Did you catch the NOAA Ocean Explorer live on 9/29? If not, you missed some really cool science: cool in the sense of scientists learning new stuff and discovering new attributes to known species: all live. It was some pretty amazing stuff.

Ebola arrived in the United States this week and people reacted as expected: ignorance and fear mongering. Look, you’re ignorant of the facts, I get that, but instead of reacting in ignorance, why not pick up a fucking science book or go online to an actual science-based medical web page (in other words, not “Natural News”) and learn about how Ebola works, is transferred, what it’s carrier rate is, etc. And you’ll find that there’s no reason to panic or be afraid here in the U.S. where we have infrastructure in place. But instead, you’ll spout off stupid shit on your Facebook page, making Chimpanzees appear more intelligent than you.

Cumin and Cinnamon look too much alike. Last week my girlfriend accidentally added cinnamon to her chicken salad. This week I accidentally added cumin to my milkshake instead of cinnamon. Luckily I realized my mistake quickly and didn’t put too much in. But here’s the weird part… it actually tasted really good. So we decided to transfer the cinnamon from the store bottle to our own glass bottle. No more mistaking the two.

OTHER STUFF

I probably just mowed my grass for the last time this season… but I’ll be mowing leaves for months.

#MentionYourGirlSoNobodyStealsHer is trending. Sigh. Women are not property. Only property can be stolen. Just tell her that you love her.

Oh no, my PS3 is getting buggy and crashing. This is not allowed, because I can’t afford a PS4. C’mon technology gods, smile upon me!

CDC confirms first Ebola case in U.S.: time to go buy all the bread and milk at the grocery store.

Ebola case in Dallas, TX. Conservatives blaming illegal immigrants in 3… 2… 1…

CDC confirms Ebola in U.S.: Conservatives blaming Obama or MSNBC in 3… 2… 1…

Mother Nature has refused to give me a storm for almost a month. It’ll probably storm while I’m camping in 2 weeks; she’s mean like that.

Apparently the Rapture happened yesterday, but only black kids were taken, so no one noticed.

Regarding Ebola in Dallas: “I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.” – Ripley

140 CHARACTER ASSASSINATIONS

I Love Pucy #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow #1950s
The Twilight Tone #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow #1950s
Leave It to Beaner #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow #1950s
The Boy Rogers Show #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow #1950s
Sea Cunt #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow #1950s #TooSoon
This is Your Wife #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow #1950s
The Bob Dope Show #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow #1950s
The Honeymoaners #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow #1950s
The Bone Ranger #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow #1950s
Fragnet #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow #1950s
The Perry Homo Show #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow #1950s
The Hickey House Club #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow #1950s

The Beverly Pillbillies #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow #1960s
I Cream of Jeannie #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow #1960s
Stay Trek #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow #1960s
The Virginman #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow #1960s
My Three Sins #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow #1960s
Hogan’s Herpes #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow #1960s
The Bollywood Squares #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow #1960s
Fister Ed #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow #1960s
The Perv Griffin Show #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow #1960s
Thunderbards #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow #1960s

Little Mouse on the Prairie #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow #1970s
Happy Gays #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow #1970s
The Nukes of Hazzard #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow #1970s
Starsky And Butch #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow #1970s
The Six Million Hollar Man #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow #1970s
Wander Woman #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow #1970s
The Love Goat #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow #1970s
Welcome Back, Potter #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow #1970s #Hogwarts
The Incredible Bulk #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow #1970s

Dull House #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow #1980s
Poonlighting #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow #1980s
Who’s the Hoss? #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow #1980s
Males from the Crypt #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow #1980s
The B-Team #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow #1980s
Ramington Steele #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow #1980s

Mom and Jerry #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow
As The World Burns #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow
Captain Wangaroo #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow
Gays of our Lives #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow
The Flintstoned #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow
Fister Rogers’ Neighborhood #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow
The Pride is Right #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow
The Puppet Show #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow
Reading Painbow #ChangeALetterRuinATVShow

University Studios #BadThemeParks @midnight
Lush Gardens #BadThemeParks @midnight
Disney’s Ipecac Center #BadThemeParks @midnight

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