BWAHAHA 2/14 – 2/20

BWAHAHA (Blair’s Week Attempts at Haha’s) 2/14 – 2/20: Alabama and some other parts of the South got dumped on this week a couple of times. Cities shut down as Snowmageddon started and the Snowpocalypse began. Sure, we give the South shit for it, but to be fair, there’s no reason for them to invest in the resources to deal with the snow that occurs rarely down here. It would just be a waste of tax dollars. So enjoy your snow day at home. Well, unless you’re like me and work at home, which means you never get a snow day – it just means you have to deal with everyone else being at home with you when you’re normally by yourself. I’ll put up a separate blog entry with all the snow pictures and videos of the roads, etc.

Valentine’s Day happened, as it always does. I’m not a fan of Valentine’s Day for many reasons and I was worried about having to go through the crap this year since this is Suzie and I’s first Valentine’s Day together. But nope, Suzie is amazing and all we did was have a nice dinner at home: steak and crab legs. Well, she ate the crab legs, because the only seafood I like is hushpuppies.

OTHER STUFF:

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  #‎TheWalkingDead‬ ‪#‎Skyrim‬ ‪#‎Mashup‬

• I love you the same today as I did yesterday, but apparently I’m supposed to love you more for 24 hours because today everyone has VD.
• The combination of payday, Valentine’s Day, and the coming Snowpocalypse made the stores a madhouse today. I’ll go grocery shopping later.

• 

  So it’s going to be one of those days, huh?

• Finishing out Valentine’s by watching UFC with my honey. One more reason to love her.

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  Valentine’s dinner. Giant steak for me and crab legs for her. After careful deliberation, I decided to go with the Brontosaurus steak.

• To warm me up, a big bowl of grits, with cayenne added for extra warmth. At least one thing the South got right.

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  Kitty doesn’t like the snow. Lemme in!

• Had to pick up Suzie because she didn’t want to drive in this mess. So I get to instead. To be fair, I love driving in it.

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  “It’s so fluffy I could die!” ‪#‎alwx‬

140 CHARACTER ASSASSINATIONS:

• Zombiepocalypse Tip: the rabies virus will die when cooking meat. Mmm, BBQ dog. ‪#‎TheWalkingDead‬ ‪#‎TWD‬
• The narwhal song just reminds me to not use Sprint. ‪#‎AdvertisingFail‬

BWAHAHA 1/31 – 2/6

BWAHAHA (Blair’s Week Attempts at Haha’s) 1/31 – 2/6: Mostly a boring week for me. I have no car since my windshield is still shattered from the basketball goal that fell on it, so I’m a captive in my own home. But since I don’t have any money thanks to a giant electric bill, that’s probably a good thing. Hey, at least I’m kicking ass on Skyrim (playing from scratch for the tenth time).

I’m still disappointed in the Seahawks’ Super Bowl loss. I don’t care how many times the coach explains why he chose to throw the ball, it was still a bad call when you had at least one more down (barring any penalties on the Pat’s side) to try to get Marshawn (or at least a QB sneak) that one fucking yard! What’s done is done, sure, but fuck the Patriots.

OTHER STUFF:

• Coming down from the DJ booth, I missed the last step and fell. I’m so gonna feel it in the morning. #ClubLife

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  Google finally has a an up-to-date pic of my house (fire pit & Rondo visible). But WTF is that shiny shit?

• If you’re a Christian, shouldn’t you support gay marriage? After all, the more gay couples getting married, the sooner Jesus will come back!
• More people are flying their own drones, so UFO reports should go up. And a UFO report is just admitting your inability to ID the common. Like this drone, it’s sure to get some UFO reports.
• Feeling brave? I can legally perform marriages in the state of Alabama.

140 CHARACTER ASSASSINATIONS:

• I’m in a room full of 13 men all hoping for a Katy Perry wardrobe malfunction. #SB49
• Katy Perry is wearing a flaming Hunger Games dress. #SB49 #HalftimeShow
• Those Beach balls are not deflated. #SB49 #HalftimeShow
• When did Missy Elliott become a NASCAR driver? #SB49 #HalftimeShow
• Wow, look at all those blue balls on the field. #SB49 #HalftimeShow
• Man that sucks, but at least we got a UFC fight at the end. #SB49
• There is only one question I have. #WhyDidTheyThrowTheBall

@MIDNIGHT #HASSHTAGWARS:

• Alabama jumped from 49th to 50th dumbest state #BecauseIDied @midnight
• @midnight ‪#‎BecauseIDied‬ I got a huge break on my carbon credits.
• @midnight ‪#‎BecauseIDied‬ I’ll never see all of the Internet.
• @midnight ‪#‎BecauseIDied‬ the cats only survived for three more weeks.
• @midnight ‪#‎BecauseIDied‬ the Seattle Seahawks won the Super Bowl. Oh wait, I’m still alive.
• @midnight ‪#‎BecauseIDied‬ the 2016 Republican Presidential candidate will win by one vote.
• @midnight ‪#‎BecauseIDied‬ Jesus was like, “Screw it, make ’em wait another 2,000+ years.”
• @midnight ‪#‎BecauseIDied‬ God became an atheist.
• @midnight ‪#‎BecauseIDied‬ the Cult of Namira had a week-long banquet. ‪#‎Skyrim‬
• @midnight ‪#‎BecauseIDied‬ I didn’t see Martial Law declared so that Obama could have a Third Term.
• @midnight ‪#‎BecauseIDied‬ my guns are now in less-responsible hands: the police.
• @midnight ‪#‎BecauseIDied‬ everyone attending my funeral has to listen to Enjoy the Silence by Depeche Mode (ironically) for two hours on loop.
• @midnight ‪#‎BecauseIDied‬ I won’t see Star Wars XLIX: Red Zone Force
• @midnight ‪#‎BecauseIDied‬ I can now haunt Fred Phelps with taunts of “God hates nags.”
• @midnight ‪#‎BecauseIDied‬ I found Waldo and Carmen Sandiego: they’re sitting next to me in Hell.

CAPTION CENTRAL:

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  1. The 1 driver you’ll let cut you off. 2. The 1 driver you don’t want to have road rage. 3. He can run a red light.

• 

  And here I was thinking the Fast & Furious series CGI’d all their stunts.

• 

  Ever since re-releasing GTA5 on PS4, shit like this has started again. GTA5 or Real Life?