Blair’s Week Attempts at Haha’s: 8/3 – 8/9

Welcome to my week attempts at haha’s: 8/3 – 8/9. This used to be called “This Week On Twitter” (TWOT) and then this last week I realized that I post on Facebook, do shows, etc., and all of that should really be included. So no more TWOT. Now it’s BWAHAHA (and the pun on “week,” (you know, as in weak) just in case your stupid ass didn’t get it).

8/3

I’m going cosmic bowling. How did I get talked into something that will likely be on YouTube tomorrow.

8/4

Watch me almost fall on my ass while bowling (YouTube)! They stopped video-taping me, but the next frame I fell flat on my back.

I like to go dancing at Charismatic churches, because no one there notices I’m a bad dancer.

Who is writing the #TrueBlood dialog now? The writers for Telemundo soap operas?

8/5

Sat. we played Predictive Cards Against Humanity: lay your white card down before the black card is read. Funny shit.

Heading to Muscle Beach at Venice to work out my new Muscle Car on the boardwalk. #TooSoon

8/7

Christian protesters at #KathyGriffin. Fuck starving kids, that suck it Jesus lady deserves our signs.

My performance at Clockwork Comedy (YouTube)

Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell!
Meeting Kathy Griffin at the VBC Green Room in Huntsville, AL.

Introducing some random fat guy!
Kathy Griffin at the VBC.

Nothing says fuck the third world like urinal televisions!

8/8

While waiting for Kathy Griffin, Jeph noticed people 2 rows ahead are looking at my FB pictures and says, “Dude, you’re famous!”

The only legal #StopAndFrisk should be by strippers dressed as cops. And even then only if you ask. #StopTheInsanity

The insects are throwing a party in my yard because all the rain washed away my Traizicide that I put down.

8/9

“Live Your Life Like No One’s Watching” may be a great motto, but I’m pretty sure I’d be arrested for indecent exposure.

Headline: “Two children, pilot missing after plane crashes into CT homes” … Um, I’m pretty sure where they’re at.

Oh good grief! It’s obviously something on the camera screen!

My 9th Grade Psychic Power

So the other day I was going through my old poems (I haven’t written in years) and stumbled upon a poem I wrote in 1986 called “Circle of Light.” It struck me as funny second line in the third stanza. Here is the poem in its entirety:

Circle Of Light

Circle of light flies high
glowing aura touches ground
eyes of moon on land spies
awaiting death from ominous sound

Lips of man cringe in pain
yellow flowers bloom ’round
eyes of blue, turn red insane
ethics, morals, none be found

Hot blood flows through and through
stalking through Le ‘Ole Bayou
lobes of large searching sound
a savior, a knight, not be found

Movement within, jump of an arm
soul of victim bounce and pound
old men speak of chicken farms
fear from people, villages, towns

Circle of light flies high
kin of hound, ominous sound
stalking the swamp, prey tonight
people’s fear, rid this town

Le ‘Ole Bayou? Really? So my unknown psychic powers either predicted True Blood or Duck Dynasty. Take that Nostradamus!