Spiders « Blair Scott: Synthentral

BWAHAHA (Blair’s Week Attempts at Haha’s) 1/3 – 1/9: Another slow week. At least I got get to participate in the #HashtagWars twice this week. The excitement this week was the cold and my car. On Tuesday, heavy winds and intermittent flurries came in and blew my basketball goal down on my car. It took my insurance company about an hour to figure out if they were going to claim the damage under my car insurance or my homeowner’s insurance. In the end they decided on my car insurance because the basketball goal is not a “permanent structure.” So that means a lower deductible, at least. However, even that is too much money for me to afford right now. So I guess I’ll get the windshield replaced (as soon as I save up that money) and deal with the damage to the bumper and roof when I have the deductible money (by have that money, I mean in a few years). So I’m carless (yes, that’s a word now) for awhile. Hopefully we don’t get any storms coming through since I can’t chase until I at least get the windshield repaired.

Sometimes, when I tell my girlfriend that I love her, she replies, “Do you really?” A few nights ago in bed she said she loved me and I replied, “Do you really?” She started laughing and said, “Wow, that’s so annoying, I’m never saying that again!” And that’s why I love her so much. Yes, really.

OTHER STUFF:

There are either a million spiders in my yard or my grass is frozen. #SparkleyEyes
A gay man who buys a home is a homeowner.

@MIDNIGHT #HASHTAGWARS:

Did you hear about the pun whose left side was cut off? He’s all right pun. #AddAPunRuinAPun @midnight
I’m punning a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to pun down. #AddAPunRuinAPun @midnight
I’m glad I know pun language, it’s pretty pundy. #AddAPunRuinAPun @midnight
I couldn’t remember how to throw a punerange, but it came back to me. #AddAPunRuinAPun @midnight
Atheism is a pun-prophet organization. #AddAPunRuinAPun @midnight
Police were dispatched to a Kindergarten class where a three-year-old pun was resisting a rest. #AddAPunRuinAPun @midnight
You need an Ark to save two of every species? Well, I Noah pun! #AddAPunRuinAPun @midnight
In Vietnam I survived mustard gas. In peace protests I survived pepper spray. I’m now a seasoned pun! #AddAPunRuinAPun @midnight
I punned into a Thai spice rack, now I’m Thai dyed. #AddAPunRuinAPun @midnight
Punning a clock is very time consuming. #AddAPunRuinAPun @midnight
My puncycle couldn’t stand because it was two-tired. #AddAPunRuinAPun @midnight
I held the pun open for a clown, he punned me for the nice jester. #AddAPunRuinAPun @midnight
I punned on a grape and it let out a little whine. #AddAPunRuinAPun @midnight
I was told a pun about amnesia, but I’ve forgotten how it puns. #AddAPunRuinAPun @midnight
The Wizard of Osmosis #MakeAMovieSmarter @midnight
Singin’ in the Brain #MakeAMovieSmarter @midnight
The Maltese Falconinae #MakeAMovieSmarter @midnight
Snow White and the Seven Dwarf Stars #MakeAMovieSmarter @midnight
On the H2O Front #MakeAMovieSmarter @midnight
Raging Bull Market #MakeAMovieSmarter @midnight
Once Upon a Time in the Western Medicine #MakeAMovieSmarter @midnight
The Silence of the Lamba Lamda Lamda #MakeAMovieSmarter @midnight
Fe Homo Sapiens #MakeAMovieSmarter @midnight

BWAHAHA (Blair’s Week Attempts at Haha’s) 8/2 – 8/8: Well this week was horrible for my normal job, but at least I finally resolved the problems by the end of the week and was able to enjoy my weekend: date night with my girlfriend, got to see a play (Bare), games with friends, mowing the lawn (I consider that a relaxing event since I ride a John Deere mower), and playing some Skyrim. We saw Into the Storm, the new tornado disaster movie (yes, I wore my Alabama Storm Chasers t-shirt). I wrote a review of the movie after seeing what I thought was some unfair criticism of the film. There’s plenty of legitimate criticisms of the film, there’s no reason to get unfair on it.

Okay, seriously, if you do not know the answer to something, then do not guess or make shit up. I read 76 comments of people guessing at what a spider was (pic posted by someone on a Facebook group) and only one guessed sort of right. Unfortunately, I’m not in the group, so I could not give this person the right answer. The spider was nephila clavipes and they are gorgeous (seriously, do a Google search for nephila clavipes). Oh, and what you call a banana spider IS NOT A FUCKING BANANA SPIDER! UGH! (BTW, this is an actual “banana spider:” Phoneutria fera)

OTHER STUFF

I hate when people guess when they don’t know. Just say, “I don’t know.” It’s OK. “I don’t know” is often a precursor to “Let’s find out!”

I made the mistake of wearing black to pick up the dog from the groomers. Now I have more hair than the dog.

The Happy Mondays were playing in the theater bathroom. The Happy Mondays! On the radio! In Huntsville, AL! Weird, yet awesome. And then to top it off, The Farm were playing inside the restaurant! Did Alabama suddenly discover music other than Top 40 crap and Country?

Going to see Into the Storm on Friday. Sure, I’ll cringe at some of the bad science, but I’m expecting to love the movie because, you know, it has tornadoes and shit in it.

My review of Into the Storm.