20130220: News From the Week

Body found in water tank of L.A. hotel… that explains the meaty taste of the tap water.

I find the food in Kansas City, MO to be a little overcooked.

I’m very selective; I only hit black kids on a plane if they are from Abeche, Chad. The rest of the black kids have no need to fear me.

Super Mega Pod of dolphins? Well, that might explain why I keep hearing voices in my head saying, “Thanks for all the fish.”

GAO finally recognizes climate change as a “financial risk.” Yeah, fuck the planet and people, it’s the cost of cleanup that gets attention.

Univ. of Southern Miss still in shock over tens of millions in damage: vow to never play the Worcester Tornadoes ever again.

I-10 shut down for 12 hours in Phoenix after white creamer spill. Citizens relaxed after learning it wasn’t Mexican creamer. #PapersPlease

FL apologized to other English-speaking countries over English Only License Law. Politicians didn’t know other countries spoke English.