BWAHAHA: 11/23 – 11/29

BWAHAHA (Blair’s Week Attempts at Haha’s) 11/23 – 11/29: Well this was certainly a fun week! I think my friends and I spent more time together this week than I spent in my mom’s uterus (I was born premature).

11/23

My dad drove up from Florida in shorts & t-shirt. Now he’s freezing in 8 degree wind chill. Moron.

11/24

On a cold night like tonight, if Dr. Sidney Russell were still alive, I’d suck him off.

What I’m getting religious family members for Christmas.

Jackhammer Jesus

Liam Neeson’s cock is so big, that Sylvia Browne actually saw it coming. #HollywoodBabbleOn

Protesting Black Friday and looking forward to a White Christmas? RACIST!

I went to a Sudanese restaurant today and was served a W.H.O. Food Pack. So disappointed.

This year I’m celebrating Thanksgrieving. I’ll start the meal off by listing the people I didn’t shed a tear for when they died.

11/25

#CelebritiesIWantToSeeNaked is trending. I wanted to put Fiona as a joke, but the Internet already provided naked Fiona.

11/26

My reality show idea: reality “stars” sit down and take the ASVAB so we can all see how dumb they really are.

Only 2 1/2 days left until Rebecca Black Friday!

My BCDC (Blood Cheese Dip Count) is getting below my legal limits. Must rectify this before withdraws set in.

The candle holder priests shouldn’t be purchasing:

Priest Candle Holder (Before)

See what I mean….

Priest Candle Holder (After)

11/27

Anybody else old enough to remember as kids playing with that amazing toy: the stick?

When I was a kid I hated chores, so my motto was, “Hasbro before hoes.”

As a kid I got mad at mom for limiting my freedom. Now I’m grown up and realize it was silly, especially once I found out about Republicans.

I wonder how different America would be if “elections” were like Battle Royale.

Tomorrow, millions of Americans will blame their gluttony-induced tiredness on Tryptophan. #BlamingTheVictim

Critical Eye Podcast: E040 Thanksgrieving archive is up!

#GodHasBlessedMeWith cancer. Oh wait, that’s my neighbor. Oh wait, god doesn’t exist.

#GodHasBlessedMeWith great music. And by God I mean Robert Smith from The Cure.

#GodHasBlessedMeWith sustenance. And by God I mean Mexican food. And Carmelita, my French Maid.

#GodHasBlessedMeWith a great view. And by God I mean the woman next door who dances naked in her yard.

#GodHasBlessedMeWith satisfaction. And by God I mean Porn.

11/28

For Hanukkah I’m eating bacon-flavored Matzah Balls.

I wanted to say something heartfelt about Native Americans on this Thanksgiving, but then was like, “Fuck ’em, they lost.”

#ThrowbackThursday – 70’s curtains backdrop my 80’s self!

70's Curtains, 80's Clothes

I’m thankful that I’m not doing an “I’m thankful” post.

I’m going to fight the legalization of marijuana for the sole reason that I cannot afford the munchies.

11/29

Santa came early. So much for the pulling out strategy.

I got your duck face right here!

Duckface

Cure, The

“Wailing Wall” by The Cure.

Listen to this Song!

Words and music by Robert Smith. © 1984 APB Music Co. Ltd.

The holy city breathed
Like a dying man
it moved with hopeful tears
With the tears of the blind

And on and on as the night drew on
Through broken streets
That sucked me in
My feet were bare and cut with stones
With walking to the promised land

I pushed through crowds
Through seas of prayer
Through twisting hands and choking air
A vulture at the wailing wall
I circled
Waiting

And on and on as the night drew on
Through broken streets
That sucked me in
My feet were bare and cut with stones
With walking to the promised land

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

“The Top” by The Cure.

Listen to this Song!

Words and music by Robert Smith. © 1984 APB Music Co. Ltd.

I don’t care
If only I could say that
And not feel so sick and scared
I don’t care
If only I could say that
If only me eyes would close

It’s Jesus brilliant
You used to laugh
Willing these gorgeous blocks
This top is the place
Where nobody goes
You just imagine
You just imagine it all

Everyday I lie here
And know that it’s true
All I really want is you
Please come back
Please come back
Like all the other ones do

Please come back
All of you

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

“The Holy Hour” by The Cure.

Listen to this Song!

Words by Robert Smith, music by Smith, Gallup & Tolhurst. © 1981 Fiction Records.
Thanks to Agueda G. for the recommendation and information.

I kneel and wait in silence
As one by one the people slip away
Into the night
The quiet and empty bodies
Kiss the ground before they pray
Kiss the ground
And slip away…

I sit and listen dreamlessly
A promise of salvation makes me stay
Then look at your face
And feel my heart pushed in
As all around the children play
The games they tired of yesterday
They play

I stand and hear my voice
Cry out
A wordless scream at ancient power
It breaks against stone
I softly leave you crying…

I cannot hold what you devour
The sacrifice of penance
In the holy hour

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

“This is a Lie” by The Cure.

Listen to this Song!

Words by Robert Smith, music by Smith, Gallup, Bamonte, Cooper & O’Donnell. © 1996 Fiction Records.
Thanks to Agueda G. for the recommendation and information.

How each of us decides
I’ve never been sure
The part we play
The way we are
How each of us denies any other way in the world
Why each of us must choose
I’ve never understood
One special friend
One true love
Why each of us must lose everyone else in the world

However unsure
However unwise
Day after day, play out our lives
However confused
Pretending to know to the end

But this isn’t truth, this isn’t right
This isn’t love, this isn’t life, this isn’t real
This is a lie

How each of us believes
I’ve never really known
In heaven unseen and hell unknown
How each of us dreams to understand anything at all
Why each of decides
I’ve never been sure
The part we take
The way we are
Why each of us denies every other way in the world

However unsure
However unwise
Day after day, play out our lives
However confused
Pretending to know to the end

But this isn’t truth, this isn’t right
This isn’t love, this isn’t life, this isn’t real
This is a lie

But this isn’t truth, this isn’t right
This isn’t love, this isn’t life, this isn’t real
This is a lie

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

“Where the Birds Always Sing” by The Cure.

Listen to this Song!

Words by Robert Smith, music by Smith, Gallup, Bamonte, Cooper & O’Donnell. © 2000 Fiction Records.
Thanks to Agueda G. for the recommendation and information.

The world is neither fair nor unfair
The idea is just a way for us to understand
But the world is neither fair nor unfair
So one survives, the others die
And you always want a reason why

But the world is neither just nor unjust
It’s just us trying to feel that there’s some sense in it
No, the world is neither just nor unjust
And though going young, so much undone
Is a tragedy for everyone

It doesn’t speak a plan or any secret thing
No unseen sign or untold truth in anything…
But living on in others, in memories and dreams
Is not enough, you want everything
Another world where the sun always shines
And the birds always sing
Always sing…

The world is neither fair nor unfair
The idea is just a way for us to understand
No the world is neither fair nor unfair
So some survive, and others die
And you always want a reason why

But the world is neither just nor unjust
It’s just us trying to feel that there’s some sense in it
No, the world is neither just nor unjust
And though going young, so much undone
Is a tragedy for everyone

It doesn’t mean there has to be a way of things
No special sense that hidden hands are pulling strings
But living on in others, in memories and dreams
Is not enough, and it never is
You always want so much more than this…

An endless sense of soul and an eternity of love
A sweet mother down below and a just father above
For living on in others, in memories and dreams
Is not enough, you want everything

Another world
Where the birds always sing
Another world
Where the sun always shines
Another world
Where nothing ever dies…