Music Time! “LOVE” Edition (Part One)! 6/14/16

My Facebook feed has been so full of hatred lately. Hate toward “libtards,” hate toward “Republitards,” hate toward the LGBT community, hate toward political candidates or politicians, hate toward gun owners or anti-gun advocates. Remember when public tragedies brought us together? I guess the political discourse has gotten to the point that even after a tragedy we can’t come together as a nation anymore.

We need love: not hate. So my morning will be filled with love songs:

ARTIST: Happy Mondays
SONG: Sunshine and Love
ALBUM: …Yes, Please!
YEAR: 1992

ARTIST: Green Day
SONG: Oh Love
ALBUM: !UNO!
YEAR: 2012

ARTIST: !distain
SONG: Black Mountain Love Affair
ALBUM: 25 Frames A Second (Expanded Edition)
YEAR: 2004

ARTIST: Wolfsheim
SONG: Ruby, Don’t Take Your Love To Town
ALBUM: 55578
YEAR: 1995

ARTIST: Erasure
SONG: Lay All Your Love On Me
ALBUM: Abba-Esque
YEAR: 1992

ARTIST: ABC
SONG: Look of Love, The (Part I)
ALBUM: Absolutely ABC: Best of ABC
YEAR: 1982 (Song)

ARTIST: Code 64
SONG: Love Sees No Colour
ALBUM: Accelerate EP
YEAR: 2013

ARTIST: Men Without Hats
SONG: I’m In Love
ALBUM: The Adventures Of Women & Men Without Hate In The 21st Century
YEAR: 1989

ARTIST: Bronski Beat
SONG: I Fee Love
ALBUM: Age of Consent
YEAR: 1983

ARTIST: IAMX
SONG: This Will Make You Love Again
ALBUM: The Alternative
YEAR: 2006

ARTIST: Future Holotape
SONG: Summer In Love
ALBUM: Analog Renegades
YEAR: 2014

ARTIST: Visage
SONG: Again We Love
ALBUM: The Anvil
YEAR: 1982

ARTIST: The Presets
SONG: This Boy’s in Love
ALBUM: Apocalypso
YEAR: 2008

ARTIST: informatik
SONG: My True Love (Pulse State Mix)
ALBUM: Arena
YEAR: 2009

ARTIST: Atlantic Popes
SONG: Love
ALBUM: Atlantic Popes
YEAR: 2000

ARTIST: Boytronic
SONG: Love Remains
ALBUM: Autotunes
YEAR: 2002

ARTIST: Blancmange
SONG: Don’t You Love It All?
ALBUM: Believe You Me (Remastered)
YEAR: 1985

ARTIST: A Flock of Seagulls
SONG: Space Age Love Song
ALBUM: The Best of A Flock of Seagulls
YEAR: 1982 (song)

ARTIST: Cutting Crew
SONG: I’ve Been In Love Before
ALBUM: The Best of Cutting Crew
YEAR: 1987

ARTIST: Howard Jones
SONG: Everlasting Love
ALBUM: The Best of Howard Jones
YEAR: 1989

BWAHAHA 1/17 – 1/23

BWAHAHA (Blair’s Week Attempts at Haha’s) 1/17 – 1/23: First, let me start off by saying, THE MOTHERFUCKING SEAHAWKS ARE GOING TO THE MOTHERFUCKING SUPER BOWL!!!!!!! I’ve been a Seahawks fan since I was 13-years-old. I spent almost 30 years watching them lose and lose and lose and lose. And now, two years in a MOTHERFUCKING ROW!!!!! If you’re not a football fan, the next week is going to suck for you on social media.

So the State of the Union happened as well. I always enjoy watching the reaction of the Congress as the President speaks and what they do and do not decide to clap for and stand up for. It’s a great way to check out the mindset of each party. I’ve decided to start calling it the State of the Loonion. My observations based on the behavior of Republicans during the State of the Loonion Address:

• Republicans be like, “Fuck child care.”
• Republicans be like, “Fuck equal pay for women.”
• Republicans be like, “Fuck community college.”
• Republicans be like, “Fuck climate change and fuck future generations.”
• Republicans be like, “Fuck gay rights.”
• Republicans be like, “Fuck women’s access to health care.”
• Republicans be like, “Fuck the right to vote.”
• Republicans be like, “Fuck better politics.”
• Republicans be like, “Fuck the fact that Democrat and Republican citizens agreed with Obama 90% of the time on Bing Pulse tonight.”

Yeah, the Bing Pulse minute-by-minute poll showed Republicans and Democrats agreeing at least 90% of the time with everything Obama was saying. The red and blue lines were almost exactly the same throughout the entire speech. Independents were all over the place and looked like arrhythmia on an EKG, but that’s normal for them. So if Republican citizens agreed with almost everything Obama said… why are Republican leaders so against everything he said? Methinks your base is narrower than thou doth think!

OTHER STUFF:

• Thanks to YouTube’s random recommendations, I just discovered Japanese Steampunk.
• I tried to type “Go Colts” and auto correct changed it to “Go Clits.” I’m more surprised that Clits is in my phone’s dictionary.
• If the Patriots did use deflated balls, I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.
• Ready to watch the State of the Loonion.
• In the “I wish I had thought of this category:” Rich people: the reason your conspiracy theory is nonsense. Silly… but true.
• Osmosis: Becoming fans of Donny & Marie after hearing their songs at a friend’s house. Side note: you shouldn’t be friend with that person.
• Me: “Your dog and I have known each other for almost seven years.” GF: “But we’ve only known each other for about a year.” Me: “Exactly.”
• Mutineer: someone who climbs hills instead of mountains.
• Support LGBT rights? Don’t read the comments on articles about Alabama. The bigots are showing their asses and you don’t want to see it.
• Victory in Alabama for those who don’t let a Bronze Age book tell us who people can and cannot love.

140 CHARACTER ASSASSINATIONS:

• I drink so Lele b bow that I’m a librettist arty veining. 8 necessary to Dino now. #DrunkTexting
• Someone has some Green Bay NFC Champs shirts on sale somewhere. @Seahawks are #SuperbowlBound

@MIDNIGHT #HASHTAGWARS:

• The Bookie of Life #ToughGuyRomComs @midnight
• Pinch Hitter Perfect #ToughGuyRomComs @midnight
• Shredding Crashers #ToughGuyRomComs @midnight
• American Pie Hard (With a Vengeance) #ToughGuyRomComs @midnight
• There’s Something About Gary Cooper #ToughGuyRomComs @midnight
• Menchanted #ToughGuyRomComs @midnight
• The Housearrest Brony #ToughGuyRomComs @midnight
• Pretty in Pink Spray from a .50cal Bullet #ToughGuyRomComs @midnight
• Youv’e Got Male Pattern Baldness #ToughGuyRomComs @midnight
• Boxanne #ToughGuyRomComs @midnight

This week on Twitter (3/15 – 3/22)

This week’s attempt to be funny on Twitter from 3/15 to 3/22 (posted in order of Tweets). One of my jobs got canceled and I was extra bored… so spent more time than usual on Twitter.

3/16

#WeWereCoolUntilYou told me you like Yanni.

I hate proselytizing felines! #Evangelion

#IfiWokeUpInANewBugatti I’d check the back seat for Caroline Mulford.

3/19

Prison rape. #GrandTheftAutoMemories

Saw this: #SarahPalinDoes and misread it as #SarahPalinDies. Oh well, they can’t all be good news days.

I’m hotter, and probably wetter, than Sarah Palin on a game preserve. #SarahPalinDoes

#GrowingUpAsABlackKid was really hard, especially since I was white.

When your morse code dashes are shaped like penises: #GuyCode

3/20

No problem accessing the al’Aqsa mosque since he’s Muslim! #ObamainIsrael /sarcasm

While there, he should get stoned… by Palestinians. #ObamainIsrael /sarcasm

He’s totally Kosher! #ObamainIsrael

Did he bring his Star of David Axelrod? #ObamainIsrael

Glad to see Obama concentrating. #ObamainIsrael

#ObamainIsrael, it’s hot as an oven!

#ObamainIsrael, what a gas!

Finally going to see if he can walk on water! #ObamainIsrael

“I can see #ObamainIsrael from my back yard!” – Sarah Palin

Pope Francis “dazzled” by girl: boys issue sigh of relief.

Snow on first day of spring: climate change deniers have premature orgasm.

WI closes nude beach on weekdays. Naked mole rats plan protest.

“$10,000 for me by myself. For that you get the head, the tail, the whole damn thing.” – K-Mart

“Cage goes in the water, you go in the water. Shark’s in the water. Our shark.” – K-Mart

Headline: “Arctic gets greener as climate warms up.” So when do we stop calling it the Arctic?

Red Tide killing manatees in Florida: University of Alabama denies involvement.

Voice of Elmo gets new allegations of sex abuse. This Fall, on PBS, Sexame Street!

Headline: “Emma Watson not locked into 50 Shades of Grey.” Yeah, more like shackled, chained, and ball-gagged.

Messiah Mobile #ObamaLimoNames

Mohamen Mehdi Ouazanni #ObamaLimoNames

Afghanipimpin’ #ObamaLimoNames

Back and to the Right, Back and to the Right, Back and to the Right. #ObamaLimoNames

My Set List for tonight (time allowing): Stinky Simon, Poopy Chutes & Male On Deck, Pink Palace, and My Sex Tape.

Wow, that set list actually went over well in the redneck bar. LOL

3/21

Conservatives outting themselves as prejudiced bigots so I know who they are. #WhyISmile

#ImSoUsedToHearing shit come out of Republican mouths, that I carry Wet Wipes with me at all times.

3/22

Were you really a warrior? #AskScandal

Women who hold farts all day just release them in spurts while sleeping: a whole new definition to motorboating.

MTV killed the video star. #RetroMTV

Girls holding their farts in. #TheMostAnnoyingThingsEver

After having rough sex with a paleontologist, she discovered that her vagisaurus.