BWAHAHA: 11/2 – 11/8

BWAHAHA (Blair’s Week Attempts at Haha’s) 11/2 – 11/8: This was a crazy party week for me. We played Karaoke Against Humanity, where you play around of Cards Against Humanity and after the winner is picked, the reader picks the worst card. The owner of the worst card then has to sing a random karaoke song. The songs were numbered instead of listed by artist/title. The loser picked a number out of a hat and then sang the corresponding song number. We thought it would be a small turnout, but we had 20+ people show up. It was a fucking blast and loads of laughs! Not to mention, I’m still emotionally distraught over Carol and Rick breaking up. Sigh…

11/2

C’mon Big Pharma! Make an anti-stupid pill already! There are soooooooo many people that have the stupid disease!

11/4

After reading the news I almost want to support Eugenics: then I realize we might accidentally kill smart people.

This program depicts highly trained professionals having sex. Do not attempt without getting paid for it.

11/6

Tonight I met a Latina from Brooklyn: she spoke with a Spanish & Brooklyn accent. I’ll call it Sprooklyn. It was cute.

Why did the tornado cross the road?
To kill the chicken.

When the Chinese invade America, most Americans will just think there’s a tornado on the way.

11/7

“Woman’s 16 cats consume her dead body to stay alive.” Suddenly I like cats a lot more.
“Be a Fancy Feast for homeless cats. All donations tax-deductible.”
“We have the purrrrrfect way to dispose of your body!”
I’d rather be eaten by ferocious penguins

An ophthalmologist’s office is a site for sore eyes. #ThatsSoPunny

11/8

The confirmation bias is strong with this one…

Ah, that time of year when you mow the leaves instead of the grass.

Once you’ve reached a high enough level that you can kill a Chimera in two seconds… kinds makes the game boring.

Friday night…
Just got paid…
All my money went to bills…
Ain’t gonna get laid…
(Someone asked me if one of my bills was for getting laid, to which I responded, “No, but maybe it should be. Hell, it’s gonna cost me dinner, movie, gas, and all that shit to take a woman out with no guarantee of sex and then throw in all the fucking strings and emotional bullshit roller-coaster fucktardidness that goes with dating… cheaper to get a hooker and none of that other bullshit to go with it.”)

Facebook wants to know if I want to meet a cougar. At my age, I’m scared to think about that. Then again…
I’m fat, bald, divorced, and 42: I’m not that picky anymore.
I was thinking the other day how many cougars I dated and had sex with when I was in high school. I should mention that I went to Canyon Springs High School, home of the Cougars.

BWAHAHA: 10/26 – 11/1

BWAHAHA (Blair’s Week Attempts at Haha’s) 10/26 – 11/1: I don’t know how I missed last week’s BWAHAHA post, so here it is. I guess I was too busy picking my nose or something. I take that back, I do know how I missed last week’s update: I was busy getting ready for my annual Halloween Party. We had over 40 partiers this year and did the house up as a Dexter kill room (including a victim). We splattered “blood” everywhere and had a lot of fun doing it.

10/26

You know what’s really awkward? The word awkward.

Halloween: kids empty into streets taking candy from strangers: you know, something we tell kids not to do the rest of the year.

The Halloween Party “victim” was a bad, bad, dirty, dirty, girl!

HP_Victim

10/27

It may take a few days to recover from last night’s Halloween Party. Percocet. Check. Bleach. Check. Flamethrower. Check.

The war against the ferocious penguins continues successfully! Wait, that’s not funny.

Apparently, I’m a natural born spiller.

10/28

I don’t know who or what I was making this face at during the Halloween Party, but this is great!

GEDSC DIGITAL CAMERA

10/29

I mention I had to a take a Percocet in one fucking comment… and Facebook thinks I’m an addict!

PainPillsAd

If you disagree with the overwhelming majority of scientists and smart people: you’re probably wrong.

Being silly with Spaceballs!

10/30

I go to http://MuslimMingle.Com to help Islamic women get out of their burqas.

One of my favorite German bands says the word opposite as opposight. Singing in English is cute.

I’m not mooning you because I don’t like you. I just need an excuse to get some fresh air on my ass.

Hell hath no fury like Christians hell-bent on saving you from Hell.

I posted the article I wrote on Group Sex.

10/31

I hereby pledge to refuse to shop at any store that airs Christmas commercials before Turkey Day.

Mother nature just fucked my neighbor… and now I’ll probably lose power because of it. Thanks Obama!

11/1

Security at the airport is not LAX today at all!