BWAHAHA 2/28 – 3/6

BWAHAHA (Blair’s Week Attempts at Haha’s) 2/28 – 3/6: During this week, my girlfriend Suzie and I celebrated our one year anniversary of our very first date. So what do you do on your one year dateiversary? Well, you duplicate your first date! We started off at the Savory Spice Shop in Franklin, TN and then moved on to Famous Dave’s BBQ and ended up at Frugal McDoogal’s in Nashville. And of course… we went Dutch! On the way back home we had a late stop at WalMart. Suzie went into the store and I took a 20-minute power nap in the parking lot. Why? Because it’s better to take a power nap eight miles from home than to fall asleep at the wheel and kill yourself or someone else one mile from home. *The More You KNOW!

The fiasco over gay marriage continues in Alabama. Alabama Supreme Court Chief Justice Roy Mooreon put out a missive to all the probate judges and most of them followed his missive and stopped issuing licenses to gay couples. For some reasons, these idiots who are supposed to fucking know the law, think that they’re somehow immune to contempt of court of lawsuits because our fucktarded Mooreon of a Chief Justice gave them an excuse to exercise their bigotry openly. Alabama will always move forward kicking and screaming and sometimes be forced to move forward at gunpoint. The problem is that Alabama is still not living in 2015… it’s stuck somewhere in 1975 or 1976 still. On the bright side, at least they’re not wearing disco suits.

Don’t forget to check out “Are You Winter Weather Ready?” A lot of the points work for Spring and Summer weather as well, but I’ll put up a new blog as the Spring weather gets closer.

OTHER STUFF:

  • Today’s North Alabama Vapers’ Mini-Con was a huge success. How do we know? Well, the Huntsville Fire Department showed up! ‪#‎VapeOn‬
  • 20150302b

    When Assassins’s Creed Black Flag goes wrong… Stuck and can’t save my crewman. Fast travel will fix it! ‪#‎BlackFlag‬

  • Remember: they’re called forecasts and not predictions for a reason. Give your meteorologist a little slack.
  • I'm not sure if this is a compliment or not. And is this news that's retarded or news for retards (and does that mean Republicans)?

    I’m not sure if this is a compliment or not. And is this news that’s retarded or news for retards (and does that mean Republicans)?

  • Tons of bugs celebrated the 75 degrees here in Huntsville… hopefully they mated and will all die from the freeze and eggs won’t hatch.
  • Problem? What problem? I don't have a problem! ‪#‎VapeLife‬ ‪#‎VapeOn‬ ‪#‎ForeverVaping‬

    Problem? What problem? I don’t have a problem! ‪#‎VapeLife‬ ‪#‎VapeOn‬ ‪#‎ForeverVaping‬

  • I must admit I find myself disappointed that no right-wing nutters blamed the crazy Alabama weather on gay marriage being found legal here.
  • My super top secret magic weather bubble doesn't seem to be functioning properly.

    My super top secret magic weather bubble doesn’t seem to be functioning properly.

  • I don’t know if I should be angered or excited that PlayStation has PlayStation Plus for their overweight customers.
  • I just ate one-year aged hot New Mexican red chile. Hot really isn’t the right adjective now. Maybe volcanic?
  • When the water drains away... and the ice stays. #alwx #HSV

    When the water drains away… and the ice stays. #alwx #HSV

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BWAHAHA: 8/30 – 9/5

BWAHAHA (Blair’s Week Attempts at Haha’s) 8/30 – 9/5: This was one of those weeks where work was driving me crazy. Hey, let’s take a facility contract that’s been on hold for almost two years and roll it out in two weeks! Wait, you mean I essentially have two weeks to get over a month’s amount of work done? Oh, and then you’re gonna go apeshit when you find out two days before the install that stuff’s not done? Well gosh, maybe you shoulda fuckin’ thunk that shit through beforehand!

But at least I got to chase a few storms this week and ended the weekend with friends at a wedding. While that’s great for my friends who got married, my girlfriend and I both looked at each other with the “nope, never” eyes. And that’s why I love her!

OTHER STUFF:

Thanks to the three peeps who stopped to ask, “You okay?” while I was parked on the side of the road shooting storms. Yep, unless we’re talking about my head.

Ha ha! My magic weather bubble is working! BWAHAHA!

Ha ha! My magic weather bubble is working! BWAHAHA!

What is up with the crazy models on the new invest?

Why is Beefy Fritos Burritos so hard to say sober? Taco Bell should call them Fritorritos!

I present Exhibit A against my girlfriend’s insistence that I don’t pay attention when driving:

While my Magic Weather Bubble keeps me dry, it also keeps me from chasing storms. #ProsAndCons #Wizarding101

While my Magic Weather Bubble keeps me dry, it also keeps me from chasing storms. #ProsAndCons #Wizarding101

It's not real cooking without a fire! Turned off burner and let it burn out.

It’s not real cooking without a fire! Turned off burner and let it burn out.

Kids playing in Bicentennial Park, Nashville. #FavNashPic Wrong Nash? Nope, screw that Nash guy.

Kids playing in Bicentennial Park, Nashville. #FavNashPic
Wrong Nash? Nope, screw that Nash guy.

Seriously....

Seriously….

140 CHARACTER ASSASSINATIONS:

I can’t tell if my glasses are smudged or if I’m at a vape meet.

#facebookdown – so go ahead and reintroduce yourself to that Google+ account you never used.

I’m pretty sure #facebookdown was a Twitter conspiracy to drive traffic to Twitter.

“I’ve had so much plastic surgery, when I die they will donate my body to Tupperware.” – Joan Rivers. Tupperware is waiting. #RIPJoanRivers

CAPTION CENTRAL:

Because this is the way the school year always started when I went to school! Yeah. Right.

Because this is the way the school year always started when I went to school! Yeah. Right.

No wonder Sasquatch is always so angry in those commercials: he's a drunkard!

No wonder Sasquatch is always so angry in those commercials: he’s a drunkard!

When asked why he hit the mannequin, John replied, "I thought it was Justin Bieber."

When asked why he hit the mannequin, John replied, “I thought it was Justin Bieber.”

When otters get Ebola.

When otters get Ebola.

We really need more ATMs installed in the Death Star.

We really need more ATMs installed in the Death Star.

"OMG, I'm going to find the person who leaked my photos and beat the shit out of them with this pink baseball bat!"

“OMG, I’m going to find the person who leaked my photos and beat the shit out of them with this pink baseball bat!”

Atlanta PD will be transporting this prisoner to Block AA-23, Cell 2187.

Atlanta PD will be transporting this prisoner to Block AA-23, Cell 2187.

Ronald refused to honor the restraining order obtained by Burger King.

Ronald refused to honor the restraining order obtained by Burger King.

The set of Batman Vs Superman got a little carried away.

The set of Batman Vs Superman got a little carried away.

When taking weather photos, make sure no animals are mating in the photo. Or go out of the way to make sure they are.

When taking weather photos, make sure no animals are mating in the photo. Or go out of the way to make sure they are.

OMG! Someone built a Need for Speed road!

OMG! Someone built a Need for Speed road!

Okay McDonald's, stop giving Japan special treatment and bring this awesome to the states: especially near me.

Okay McDonald’s, stop giving Japan special treatment and bring this awesome to the states: especially near me.

BWAHAHA: 8/23 – 8/29

BWAHAHA (Blair’s Week Attempts at Haha’s) 8/23 – 8/29: This was a pretty fun week all things considered. We’ve unpacked more boxes, got more work done on the bathroom, decorated the home some more, and I doing better at my water aerobics class. I’m still the skinniest person in the class, so still helping out my confidence! Got to go storm chasing a few times this week, but mostly Mother Nature was just being a dick and sending all the good stuff somewhere else.

And then there’s the serious stuff: more videos surfacing of cops being stupid and engaging in unnecessary violence with excessive force. I have been a lifelong defender of police because there are good cops out there and it’s easy to fall into confirmation bias of “all cops are bad” because we only see the bad. Are police brutality instances actually on the rise, or is the predominance of cell phones capturing more of what was already there? That’s hard to say definitively, but one thing is for sure, it’s getting harder and harder to defend police in general when more of this crazy shit is happening. Protect and serve people. That’s your fucking job: protect and serve.

OTHER STUFF:

This little guy was like, "Hey look at me! Oh, never mind." HSV #alwx

This little guy was like, “Hey look at me! Oh, never mind.” HSV #alwx

Mother Nature hates me. All that awesome so far away.

Mother Nature hates me. All that awesome so far away.

Woman just said, “I have a cute anus.” I replied, “Well, I suppose that’s better than a chronic anus.”

Waiter, there's a cloud in my tea. #ForeverVaping

Waiter, there’s a cloud in my tea. #ForeverVaping

When I see people type OMG, the first I think is, “Oh, you’re down to zero nicotine now?” Then I realize my head is in the clouds. #ForeverVaping

140 CHARACTER ASSASSINATIONS:

Standard pic of downed chimney during any CA earthquake. #NapaQuake

Standard pic of downed chimney during any CA earthquake. #NapaQuake

“Only God can judge me.” Sure, keep telling yourself that to not feel guilty, but we’re all judging the hell out of you.

The Twilight Movies #ThingsBetterThanManchesterUnited

German Horse Porn #ThingsBetterThanManchesterUnited

Manchester Disenfranchised #ThingsBetterThanManchesterUnited

Malaysian Airlines #ThingsBetterThanManchesterUnited

The Titanic #ThingsBetterThanManchesterUnited

Rodney Dangerfield’s Ladybugs #ThingsBetterThanManchesterUnited

The Hindenburg #ThingsBetterThanManchesterUnited

The Cure Bred #DogBands @midnight

The Happee Pad Mondays #DogBands @midnight

Collar Me Badd #DogBands @midnight

Earth, Wind & Fire Hydrant #DogBands @midnight

Seven Dalmatian Army #DogBands @midnight

Dog Food Fighters #DogBands @midnight

Irish Setter Than Ezra #DogBands @midnight

Great Dane’s Addiction #DogBands @midnight

New Yorkie Dolls #DogBands @midnight

The Mutthole Surfers #DogBands @midnight

Flogging Collies #DogBands @midnight

Bone Loc #DogBands @midnight

Miami Hound Machine #DogBands @midnight

Flock of Beagles #DogBands @midnight

Black Eye Fleas #DogBands @midnight

Culture Kennel Club #DogBands @midnight

Tina Turner & Hooch #DogBands @midnight

Raining in Nashville. The Titans can blame the rain for the football just getting stripped by the Vikings.

Water Sports Illustrated #RuinAMagazine @midnight

Autoeroticmobile Magazine #RuinAMagazine @midnight

Pot Rod #RuinAMagazine @midnight

Hot Rod Stewart #RuinAMagazine @midnight

Motorboat Trend #RuinAMagazine @midnight

Motor Trendy Bitches #RuinAMagazine @midnight

Road & Crack #RuinAMagazine @midnight

Nipsliplinger’s Personal Finance #RuinAMagazine @midnight

Smack Enterprise #RuinAMagazine @midnight

Boobberg Businesstweak #RuinAMagazine @midnight

Consummate Reports #RuinAMagazine @midnight

Entrepremanure #RuinAMagazine @midnight

Crack and Pill #RuinAMagazine @midnight

Nickelbackodeon Magazine #RuinAMagazine @midnight

Stranger Rick #RuinAMagazine @midnight

Stone Cold Steve Austin Soup #RuinAMagazine @midnight

Entertain Men Weekly #RuinAMagazine @midnight

Nope Chopra Digest #RuinAMagazine @midnight #SkepticsUnderstand

KY Glide #RuinAMagazine @midnight

Bon Jovi Appétit #RuinAMagazine @midnight

Taste of Gnome #RuinAMagazine @midnight

The Daily Teabagger #RuinAMagazine @midnight

Klan Magazine #RuinAMagazine @midnight

Peephole #RuinAMagazine @midnight

Puss Weekly #RuinAMagazine @midnight

Penn’s Health #RuinAMagazine @pennjillette @midnight

Cosmopolitician #RuinAMagazine @midnight

Ladies’ Home Invasion Journal #RuinAMagazine @midnight

Modern Booty #RuinAMagazine @midnight

American White Heritage #RuinAMagazine @midnight

Slutterbug #RuinAMagazine @midnight

Freebirders World #RuinAMagazine #LynyrdSkynyrdSucks @midnight

Better Homes and Arsons #RuinAMagazine @midnight

CAPTION CENTRAL:

Tonight's Chef Special.

Tonight’s Chef Special.

[sniff] "They've outgrown me." [sniff]

[sniff] “They’ve outgrown me.” [sniff]

They see me skatin' Ain't farmin' We Prayin' And they jealous of me skatin' Amish Wanna be me racin' Amish

They see me skatin’
Ain’t farmin’
We Prayin’
And they jealous of me skatin’ Amish
Wanna be me racin’ Amish

Puppies: just like veal. #NationalDogDay #NotHelpingStereotypes

Puppies: just like veal. #NationalDogDay #NotHelpingStereotypes

I keep warning you people all the time and yet you don't listen! Always be aware of your surroundings!

I keep warning you people all the time and yet you don’t listen! Always be aware of your surroundings!

In Britain, they use a different type of "gun" when interacting with the black community.

In Britain, they use a different type of “gun” when interacting with the black community.

Flower Power!

Flower Power!