BWAHAHA 3/21 – 3/27

BWAHAHA (Blair’s Week Attempts at Haha’s) 3/21 – 3/27: Ah, Spring… when the bugs come out and start mating, when the birds wake you up in the morning because they’re honry and O’Dark Thirty, when the smell of freshly mowed dogshit wafts in the gentle breezes and everyone starts their sneezes. Ah… Spring.

My grass literally went from brown to needing to be mowed in a week. Not even a week after mowing my grass for the first time… freezing temps. Fuckin’ weather! At least I got to do a little bit of chasing as the cold front came through. Nothing major, just chasing cloud formations. Many people think storm chasers are about the tornadoes. Don’t get me wrong, the tornado is the icing on the cake on top of a cherry on a sundae, but we chase for the sky: the clouds, the rain, the cloud formations, the beauty, etc. I’ll chase on a partly cloud day just to watch the beauty of the tiny clouds rolling around in the sky. It’s the Troposphere that gets us excited: Tornadoes just send us over the top.

Speaking of storms, don’t forget to check out my new blog entry for this upcoming storm season: North Alabama: Are You Storm Ready?

OTHER STUFF:

  • 20150325a

    Declaring war against Sweet Gum Balls. #Napalm

  • Being a responsible pyromaniac. Sitting here with a shovel until the burn is done. Beautiful day for it.

    Being a responsible pyromaniac. Sitting here with a shovel until the burn is done. Beautiful day for it.

  • Whoever in the Aviwxchasers.Com car keeps saying “it’s large,” they remind me of the movie Popeye.

140 CHARACTER ASSASSINATIONS:

  • I will not read comments on news items about Ted Cruz. I will not read comments on news items about Ted Cruz. I will not read comments… #Cruz2016
  • Senator Ted Cruz’n for a bruz’n #Cruz2016

@MIDNIGHT #HASHTAGWARS:

  • “Take On Windows ME” by A-ha ‪#‎InternetASong‬ @midnight
  • “Ocean Blue Waffle” by ABC ‪#‎InternetASong‬ @midnight
  • “Mexican Pandora” by Wall of Voodoo ‪#‎InternetASong‬ @midnight
  • “Ride Like The Windows Explorer” by Christopher Cross ‪#‎InternetASong‬ @midnight
  • “Bette Davis iTunes” by Kim Carnes ‪#‎InternetASong‬ @midnight
  • “WWW, WWW, WWW, WWW” by Crash Test Dummies ‪#‎InternetASong‬ @midnight
  • “(Nothing But) 1800Flowers.Com” by Talking Heads ‪#‎InternetASong‬ @midnight
  • “Just A Googleo (I Ain’t Got Nobody)” by David Lee Roth ‪#‎InternetASong‬ @midnight
  • “Huffington Post Post Modern Man” by DEVO ‪#‎InternetASong‬ @midnight
  • “Doll-Dagga BuzzFeed-BuzzFeed Ziggety-Zag” by Marilyn Manson ‪#‎InternetASong‬ @midnight
  • “Amazoned and Confused” by Neil Diamon ‪#‎InternetASong‬ @midnight
  • “Instagram Club Hit (You’ll Dance to Anything)” by The Dead Milkmen ‪#‎InternetASong‬ @midnight
Advertisements

BWAHAHA 10/11 – 10/17:

BWAHAHA (Blair’s Week Attempts at Haha’s) 10/11 – 10/17: I’m on the road in Pittsburgh this week. Mostly bored off my ass since the techs have everything under control and I’m here only because the contract requires a project manager on site. So I sit in my hotel room on conference calls all day… staring out the window at Pittsburgh, well, at least I think it’s Pittsburgh, because it looks like the set to The Walking Dead or The Last of Us.

OTHER STUFF:

Lightning captured with cell phone camera.

If they ever make Dr. Who a woman, they’ll have to rename it to Dr. Who-Ha.

If you’re a hippie, please don’t stand in front of the fan. Now the entire room smells like B.O. and patchouli.

I brought the obligatory chocolate pudding to the season premier of #TheWalkingDead

Older woman pulling into the oil change Bay next to me almost drove into the hole. The mechanic was screaming at her.

I feel like the theme music from JAWS should be playing as this line approaches.

I feel like the theme music from JAWS should be playing as this line approaches.

FoodValu, where the employees are still in high school and the customers have already purchased plots at the cemetery.

Watching the Ebola patient drive through Atlanta reminds me of the OJ Chase, except the woman’s not dead, yet.

The idiocy being said regarding Ebola is hyperEbolic! The only thing airborne is fear-mongering and ignorance: that shit’s contagious!

Critical Eye Podcast E045: Fifth Annual Halloween Show – It’s a Scary World Outside

My hotel room last night smelled of BO. I was worried it was me. Now I know it’s the housekeeper who stink. #DeodorantSavesLives

At least my hotel room has a great view of local artwork. #Pittsburgh

At least my hotel room has a great view of local artwork. #Pittsburgh

140 CHARACTER ASSASSINATIONS:

Tweakin’ ULY55E55 #HipHopBooks @midnight

The Drake Gatsby #HipHopBooks @midnight

Travi$ Scott Fitzgerald #HipHopBooks @midnight

Brave New World Boyz #HipHopBooks @midnight

The Soulja and the Fury #HipHopBooks @midnight

Trey Sons and Lovers #HipHopBooks @midnight

Sean Wington of the Dove #HipHopBooks @midnight

Tender is the Dizzy Wright #HipHopBooks @midnight

The Good Soulja #HipHopBooks @midnight

Lord of the Plies #HipHopBooks @midnight

The RainBow Wow #HipHopBooks @midnight

Wale Fire #HipHopBooks @midnight

Mally Malltese Falcon #HipHopBooks @midnight

Gucci Mane Street #HipHopBooks @midnight

The French Montana Lieutenant’s Woman #HipHopBooks @midnight

From Here to Eminem #HipHopBooks @midnight

The Magnififtycent Ambersons #HipHopBooks @midnight

Diary of Anne Frank Ocean #HipHopBooks @midnight

The T-Painted Bird #HipHopBooks @midnight

A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Thug Man #HipHopBooks @midnight

The Hunt for Red Café October #HipHopBooks @midnight

Stranger In a Strange Timbaland #HipHopBooks @midnight

Guilty Pleasure P #HipHopBooks @midnight

The Big Boi Sleep #HipHopBooks @midnight

Swizz Family Robinson #HipHopBooks @midnight

Hip Hop on Pop #HipHopBooks @midnight

Crapple: for all your compooting needs #RuinTechnology @midnight

Praydar: like Gaydar, but for homophobes #RuinTechnology @midnight

Sacuum Cleaner: Suck your testicles clean. #RuinTechnology @midnight

Brobots: Artificial Bromance #RuinTechnology @midnight

Hearing AIDS #RuinTechnology @midnight

Iron Lung: When you’re too tired to breathe #RuinTechnology @midnight

Penichillin: killing bacteria… one sofa at a time #RuinTechnology @midnight

Artificial Life: Facebook, Pinterest, Tumblr, Snapchat, Google+, Twitter, etc. #RuinTechnology @midnight

Scotch Tape: When you’re too drunk to hold the tumbler #RuinTechnology @midnight

Electric Blanket: When your boyfriend’s not hot enough #RuinTechnology @midnight

Nuclear Feareactor: Because the word nuclear is scary #RuinTechnology @midnight

Napalm: Self-warming lubricant #RuinTechnology @midnight

Transistors: Like a sistor, but also like a brother #RuinTechnology @midnight

Holograms: When your dealer cuts the cocaine with baking soda #RuinTechnology @midnight

Artificial Intelligence, AKA Teleprompter #RuinTechnology @midnight

Solar Cell: Even inmates deserve a little sunshine in their lives #RuinTechnology @midnight

Endorscope: Mouthwash for Ewoks #RuinTechnology @midnight

Microchip: Satan’s gateway drug #RuinTechnology @midnight

Artificial Heart: Fake feelings endorsed by sociopaths everywhere #RuinTechnology @midnight

Floppy Disc: A little Viagra and you’ve got a Hard Disk #RuinTechnology @midnight
When it lasts longer than four hours it’s a Solid State Drive

Barcodes: Don’t touch hands in the bowl of peanuts #RuinTechnology @midnight

In Vitro Fertilisation: why throw away a perfectly good turkey baster? #RuinTechnology @midnight

Superconductor Casey Jones #RuinTechnology @midnight

Cryogenics: So you can be an asshole in the future, too #RuinTechnology @midnight

Smart Swatch: Like the 80’s, but smarter #RuinTechnology @midnight

CAPTION CENTRAL:

Because fuck the homeless.

Because fuck the homeless.

Pietrov was perplexed as to why the officer thought he stole the pumpkins.

Pietrov was perplexed as to why the officer thought he stole the pumpkins.

Even trees deserve a place to sit down and relax now and then.

Even trees deserve a place to sit down and relax now and then.

Dammit, outdone by the Jones' again!

Dammit, outdone by the Jones’ again!

Every car should come with an emergency exit ladder.

Every car should come with an emergency exit ladder.

Is anyone going to tell Carlos that his head is on fire?

Is anyone going to tell Carlos that his head is on fire?

Suicide clown?

Suicide clown?

Someone needs to let Dorothy know she looks like a 1960's vagina.

Someone needs to let Dorothy know she looks like a 1960’s vagina.

"What accident? Me? I'm just sitting here smoking a cigarette." #PersonOfInterest

“What accident? Me? I’m just sitting here smoking a cigarette.” #PersonOfInterest