BWAHAHA 10/25 – 10/31:

BWAHAHA (Blair’s Week Attempts at Haha’s) 10/25 – 10/31: So this week, even though I’m behind a week (yes, I’ll catch up this weekend), I’ve decided to take a different approach with the #HashtagWars done by @midnight. First, I’m giving them their own section, separate from my other Tweets, posts, etc. Second, I’m only including ones that are 100% original. I do a search for my joke and if anyone else did it – it doesn’t make it on this page: even if I did it first. There are some low hanging fruit and obvious jokes with each #HashtagWars and we come up with the same stuff. It happens. But there are a few where I know someone copied mine and used it as their own, because I used an odd Syntax or put in a special character where it didn’t need to be. You know who you are and did you not know that Twitter has a search function that shows not only that you stole my joke but time stamps that shit as well? Douchebag.

OTHER STUFF:

New tag arrived today!

Need to plunder something. Yes, bartender, I’ll take a Me & Coke, please.

Enjoying some Captain and vape! #ForeverVaping

Best Buy just aired a Christmas commercial. In October. I am now no longer shopping at Best Buy.

On the road back to Pittsburgh. 12 hours of other drivers pissing me off.

Even when I’m on the road, the storms fizzle out before getting to me. Mother Nature hates me.

After numerous searches on the Internet, I have concluded that I have Ebola. The Internet is never wrong.

So when does Earth to Echo 2: Payback come out where Echo, with all his alien friends, takes revenge for the government shooting him down?

140 CHARACTER ASSASSINATION:

Who wants some roast? TAINTED MEAT!!! #TheWalkingDead

We had Swiss steak for dinner tonight. #TAINTEDMEAT #TheWalkingDead

Eating Bob gives #TheWalkingDead chocolate pudding a whole new meaning.

I have only a few Zombiepocalypse rules. No kids is one of them. Judith proves my point. #TheWalkingDead

All praise the red-handled machete! #TWD #TheWalkingDead

Uh-oh, did Daryl bring back some #TAINTEDMEAT to the church? #TheWalkingDead

#HashtagWars WITH @Midnight:

Lawrence of Catabia #CatMovies @midnight

The Abyssinian #CatMovies @midnight

Breakfast at Chantilly-Tiffany #CatMovies @midnight

The Godpawder #CatMovies @midnight

12 Angry Mice #CatMovies @midnight

The Usual Suspets #CatMovies @midnight

12 Years a Pet #CatMovies @midnight

The Himalayan Blues Brothers #CatMovies @midnight

When Hairy Met Alley #CatMovies @midnight

Hairballspray #CatMovies @midnight

Sarah Palin makes Vivid deal #ScaryStoriesIn5Words @midnight

Michael Vick opens animal shelter #ScaryStoriesIn5Words @midnight

Every Wives Tale is TRUE #ScaryStoriesIn5Words @midnight

Rapture happened: you missed it #ScaryStoriesIn5Words @midnight

Rick & Daryl: gay love scene #ScaryStoriesIn5Words @midnight #TWD

Zombies only eat Playboy Bunnies #ScaryStoriesIn5Words @midnight

Cloverfield monster… was a baby #ScaryStoriesIn5Words @midnight

Knock Knock. Who’s there? Jason. #ScaryStoriesIn5Words @midnight

Olympics being held in Liberia #ScaryStoriesIn5Words @midnight

Condom broke… with a prostitute #ScaryStoriesIn5Words @midnight

Technically, we’re all TAINTED MEAT! #ScaryStoriesIn5Words @midnight #TheWalkingDead

EMP burst kills the Internet #ScaryStoriesIn5Words @midnight

They’re just friction burns. Honest! #ScaryStoriesIn5Words @midnight

Adam & Steve, not Adam & Eve! #ScaryStoriesIn5Words @midnight

What’s in the box? Microsoft-10 #ScaryStoriesIn5Words @midnight

Satan’s number is actually 404 #ScaryStoriesIn5Words @midnight

Come again… How fast, officer? #ScaryStoriesIn5Words @midnight

Yosemite seismic activity rapidly increasing #ScaryStoriesIn5Words @midnight #NotReallyFunny

You don’t take credit cards? #ScaryStoriesIn5Words @midnight

CAPTION CENTRAL:

This would make more sense if the car were a Tiburon.

IHOP on Pop… IHOP on Car.

Cool story about a penis, but the real news: The James Bond Submersible Lotus is in a museum in Miami!!!!!!

BWAHAHA: 7/19 – 7/25

BWAHAHA (Blair’s Week Attempts at Haha’s) 7/19 – 7/25: I wish I could chase storms full time, but chasing doesn’t pay the bills. Well, it could pay the bills after putting tons of effort into it, but that would mean leaving my full time job in order to do it, and thus being a starving storm chaser until I started making a few measly bucks off of it. So what I need is to win the lottery and spend all my money going around chasing storms and enjoying nature. Someone asked me the other day if I was afraid to die in a tornado and I replied, “I’ll die with a giant smile on my face as I meet it face-to-face.”

I got introduced this week to @midnight (Chris Hardwick @Nerdist) thanks to a few local comedians in Huntsville. I played along one night and had fun, so I think I’ll be doing it more often, even if it’s the day afterward because my tired ass went to bed fore @midnight. I got a chance to watch the show Friday online and really enjoyed it. You should definitely check it out!

OTHER STUFF

The #RedstoneArsenal #WeatherDome continues to protect Huntsville! #ConfirmationBias #SillyConspiracies #alwx

140 CHARACTER ASSASSINATIONS

“Oh my god Buzz, look at her butt!” – Neil Armstrong #WorseMoonLandingQuotes @midnight

“Hey Neil, look! We’re on the moon… over Miami!” – Buzz Aldrin #WorseMoonLandingQuotes @midnight

“Hey Buzz, put Dark Side of the Moon on your MP3 player!” – Neil Armstrong #WorseMoonLandingQuotes @midnight

“You know they’re gonna say we faked this, right?” – Buzz Aldrin #WorseMoonLandingQuotes @midnight

“Your momma is so fat, I can still see her!” #WorseMoonLandingQuotes @midnight

“They fuck you in the drive-thru!” #WorseMoonLandingQuotes @midnight

“I’m not the man they think I am at home, Oh no no no I’m a rocket man.” #WorseMoonLandingQuotes @midnight

“We could have been saved tons of money if we’d used a cannon like in Le Voyage dans la Lune?” – NASA #WorseMoonLandingQuotes @midnight

“Tower, this is Apollo requesting a flyby.” “Negative, Apollo, the moon is full.” #WorseMoonLandingQuotes @midnight

“Symmetrical moon rock stacking. Just like the Philadelphia mass turbulence of 1947.” #WorseMoonLandingQuotes @midnight

CAPTION CENTRAL

Angus didn’t know mesh shirts were against the law, but he damn sure wasn’t going to jail for it.