BWAHAHA (Blair’s Week Attempts at Haha’s) 2/1 – 2/7: I got to spend the beginning of the week in Fort Myers and Naples, Florida, where I enjoyed 85 degree weather for a few days. After being stuck in ice in the Florida panhandle and arctic temperatures in northern Alabama, it was a refreshing change. I even got a bit of sunburn on my driving elbow. My friends were mad at me for posting about it on Facebook. Jealous fuckers.
Then there was the Super Bowl. There really wasn’t anything super about it this year: the commercials sucked, the Broncos sucked (fuck ‘em), the halftime show sucked. The best part was watching the Seahawks finally win a Super Bowl after waiting 30 years for it! No, I take that back, the best part was watching all the Broncos fans whine.
Obligatory prison selfie.
I got divorced and now all my friends are getting married. You’re welcome, fuckers! #OfficialFifthWheel
I had to listen to the 1st Quarter on the radio while driving. Felt weird until I saw other drivers cheering when I did. #SuperBowl
Oh no, I like football! The horror! C’mon, sport shaming people? Really? Fuck you. #SuperBowl
Seattle Seahawks should hire Manning to be their QB, since he keeps throwing them the football. #SuperBowl
Singing America the Beautiful in foreign languages Coke? Oh, that’s gonna piss off the Conservatards. #SuperBowl
Coke sings American the Beautiful in foreign languages & now a Cosmos ad? Poor conservatards got it rough this #SuperBowl.
Anyone else remember when Halftime Shows were actually shows and not mini concerts? #SuperBowl
When did the Temptations get a new singer? #HalftimeShow
Called it! #CokeRage
Okay, maybe the Broncos smoked too much pot before coming on the field… #SuperBowl
This is just a fucking slaughter! Kinda feel bad for the Broncos… wait, no I don’t. #SuperBowl
“Is there anything more American than America?” – Chrysler
That’s a trick question! The answer is Soviet Russia! #SuperBowl
Broncos fans be like, it’s playing at sea level, the field was wet, or other excuses. #DenverChoke
So what are they going to do with all the unused Denver confetti? #SuperBowl
Donate the unused Denver confetti to New Jersey homeless people to use as insulation in their cardboard boxes! #SuperBowl
Chevrolet just gave a truck away to someone who could afford to buy 10,000 of them on his own. #SuperBowl
American football team Broncos found dead in their Manhattan apartment with a needle in their arm, police say.
Philip Seymour Offman
Curt Clawson (Republican Congressional candidate for Florida) just said, “I’m a baller” on the news.
Lesson Hollywood hasn’t learned yet: making good actors play evil people makes them kill themselves.
Ever notice how the loudest people complaining about “speak English in ‘Murica” are ones who haven’t mastered English themselves?
I enjoyed 82 degree weather with 62% humidity today. Even got a bit of a tan on my driving arm. #UpYoursPolarVortex!
Every time I think I’ve encountered all the porn on the Internet… someone invents a new fetish.
I feel your pain, kid. I feel your pain.
I’m pretty sure I got a sunburn today out in the 86 degree weather. #DamnYouPolarVortex!
All your bench are belong to tree.
I got nothin’… Anyone explain this?
Wait, they sell this now? WTF Kroger & Publix? Get on it!
I love how Nye keeps referring to “traditional scientists” and “how science is done out there.” #NyeVsHamDebate
Ken Ham, if the natural laws didn’t change (because god made them), then how come rainbows didn’t exist until after the flood? #NyeVsHamDebate
Bill Nye is struggling to not make a WTF face. #NyeVsHamDebate
Ken Ham be like, I’m going to ignore all your questions by pointing out the one question you didn’t answer. #NyeVsHamDebate
Ken Ham be like, “Depends on what your definition of IS is.” #NyeVsHamDebate
My car has made an appearance in several people’s Facebook Lookback videos. Can’t decide if that’s weird or cool.
We always look forward to getting back to our beds after being on the road, but it dawned on me tonight that we look forward to our brand of toilet paper as well, even if we don’t consciously think about it.
12 Banshees, 8 Giant Skeletons, 8 Sekeleton Mage, and a giant Undead Dragon in one room: game’s fucking with me now.
If everyone keeps making fun of Russia over #Sochi, they’re gonna launch their nukes. You’ll start WWIII, kid!