BWAHAHA: 9/13 – 9/19

BWAHAHA (Blair’s Week Attempts at Haha’s) 9/13 – 9/19: This was a pretty boring week overall. Slow work. Slow days. Slow weather. Slowly rebuilding my levels in Skyrim after I accidentally deleted my level 80 Argonian. I’m actually putting this together at 1:30 in the morning Thursday night/Friday morning because on Friday afternoon my girlfriend and I are heading to Rock Island State Park to enjoy the trails and waterfalls. It’s always nice to get away. Thanks to a friend (you know who you are) for staying in our house for us. We clean up our wet spots, so please clean up yours. Thanks!

I’m no longer hyperlinking the hashtags and Twitter accounts I reference. Copy & paste you lazy bastards. (Yes, I know… I’m a lazy bastard as well.)

OTHER STUFF

Just passed an 80+ yo female Asian driver doing 20 under the speed limit in a handicap-tagged Lotus. I should play the lottery today.

How to tell Macaroni Grill isn’t a real Italian restaurant: They’re using a parody of Sir Mix-A-Lot’s ‘Baby Got Back’ to promote flatbread.

Dear Mother Nature: You’ve ignored me now for almost two weeks. Please send storms. I’m bored. Storm Chasing Cabin Fever! Thanks! Love ‘ya!

140 CHARACTER ASSASSINATIONS

The Best of the Vest #HipsterComicBooks @midnight

Archiecrombie & Fitch #HipsterComicBooks @midnight

Cavewoman: Missing Ink #HipsterComicBooks @midnight

Atom the Catatonic #HipsterComicBooks @midnight

Black Furry #HipsterComicBooks @midnight

Bullwinkle & Rocky Shores #HipsterComicBooks @midnight

Danny Blazer & Corduroy #HipsterComicBooks @midnight

The Beach House of Yang #HipsterComicBooks @midnight

Catwoman/Vampirella Weekend: The Furies #HipsterComicBooks @midnight

Batman: Through the Cooking Class #HipsterComicBooks @midnight

Silver Age: Going Green With Lanterns #HipsterComicBooks @midnight

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Pabst Beer Drinker #HipsterComicBooks @midnight (Yes, Rudolph had his own comic book)

Judge Dredding the Day #HipsterComicBooks @midnight

Lobo Goes to Hollister #HipsterComicBooks @midnight

Samurai Jack Kerouac #HipsterComicBooks @midnight

The Further Adventures of Indiemusic Tones #HipsterComicBooks @midnight

My Namedropping is Chaos #HipsterComicBooks @midnight

George of the Jungle Washington #RuinAPresident @midnight

Thomas Jefferson’s Moving On Up #RuinAPresident @midnight

John Quincy Adams, Medical Examiner #RuinAPresident @midnight

John Tyler Perry’s Diary of a Mad White President #RuinAPresident @midnight

Abraham Lincoln Logs #RuinAPresident @midnight
In modern times it would be Abraham Lincoln Blogs

Private Benjamin Harrison #RuinAPresident @midnight

Theodora Roosevelvet #RuinAPresident @midnight

Franklin “The Big D” Roosevelt #RuinAPresident @midnight

Harry Truman Show #RuinAPresident @midnight

Jimmy Welcome Back Carter #RuinAPresident @midnight

Ronald Regan MacNeil #RuinAPresident @midnight #Exorcist

George H. We Got Bush #RuinAPresident @midnight #RevengeOfTheNerdsQuotes

Bill Ha Ha Clinton-Dix #RuinAPresident @midnight #GreenBayPackers

Charles, You’ve Got Some Gall! #RuinAPresident @midnight #GoingFrench

Saint Nicolas Sarkozy #RuinAPresident #GoingFrench @midnight

Nelson Played the Mandolin #RuinAPresident #CivilRights @midnight

Boris the Soviet Love Hammer Yeltsin #RuinAPresident @midnight

Vladimir The Impaler Putin #RuinAPresident @midnight

The Lone Planker #PirateTVShows @midnight

What’s Me Line, Matey? #PirateTVShows @midnight

Deckgunsmoke #PirateTVShows @midnight

Have Rum, Will Travel #PirateTVShows @midnight

Leave It to Deck Fever #PirateTVShows @midnight

Davey Jones and Goliath #PirateTVShows @midnight

The Jolly Roy Rogers Show #PirateTVShows @midnight

The Red Skeleton Show #PirateTVShows @midnight

Captain Kidd Kangaroo #PirateTVShows @midnight

The Sea Stooges Show #PirateTVShows @midnight

Cap’n Knows Best #PirateTVShows @midnight

Neat the Tress #PirateTVShows @midnight

Rawhide the Treasure #PirateTVShows @midnight

Days of our Knives #PirateTVShows @midnight

The Beverly Swillbillies #PirateTVShows @midnight

Kill Again’s Island #PirateTVShows @midnight

The Flintlockstones #PirateTVShows @midnight

My Three Guns #PirateTVShows @midnight

Mister Jolly Rogers’ Neighborhood #PirateTVShows @midnight

The Sea Monkees #PirateTVShows @midnight

Saturday Deck Fight Live #PirateTVShows @midnight

Knots Banding #PirateTVShows @midnight

M*A*S*H for Dinner (Again) #PirateTVShows @midnight

Ship’s Wheel of Fortune #PirateTVShows @midnight

Starsky And Dutch East India Company #PirateTVShows @midnight

The Poppet Show #PirateTVShows @midnight

The Golden Pearls #PirateTVShows @midnight

Ferried… With Children #PirateTVShows @midnight

Sails from the Crypt #PirateTVShows @midnight

Water Taxi #PirateTVShows @midnight

Mystery Pirate Theater 1700 #PirateTVShows @midnight

CAPTION CENTRAL

Beware the Chihuabber.

Beware the Chihuabber.

You realize, after posting on social media, that your friend's armpit makes it look like you're naked.

You realize, after posting on social media, that your friend’s armpit makes it look like you’re naked.

FOUND HIM!

Now all the Christians can stop asking me if I’ve found him, because I FOUND HIM!

Clearly huge fans of The Sound of Music. 

Clearly huge fans of The Sound of Music.

BWAHAHA: 7/19 – 7/25

BWAHAHA (Blair’s Week Attempts at Haha’s) 7/19 – 7/25: I wish I could chase storms full time, but chasing doesn’t pay the bills. Well, it could pay the bills after putting tons of effort into it, but that would mean leaving my full time job in order to do it, and thus being a starving storm chaser until I started making a few measly bucks off of it. So what I need is to win the lottery and spend all my money going around chasing storms and enjoying nature. Someone asked me the other day if I was afraid to die in a tornado and I replied, “I’ll die with a giant smile on my face as I meet it face-to-face.”

I got introduced this week to @midnight (Chris Hardwick @Nerdist) thanks to a few local comedians in Huntsville. I played along one night and had fun, so I think I’ll be doing it more often, even if it’s the day afterward because my tired ass went to bed fore @midnight. I got a chance to watch the show Friday online and really enjoyed it. You should definitely check it out!

OTHER STUFF

The #RedstoneArsenal #WeatherDome continues to protect Huntsville! #ConfirmationBias #SillyConspiracies #alwx

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140 CHARACTER ASSASSINATIONS

“Oh my god Buzz, look at her butt!” – Neil Armstrong #WorseMoonLandingQuotes @midnight

“Hey Neil, look! We’re on the moon… over Miami!” – Buzz Aldrin #WorseMoonLandingQuotes @midnight

“Hey Buzz, put Dark Side of the Moon on your MP3 player!” – Neil Armstrong #WorseMoonLandingQuotes @midnight

“You know they’re gonna say we faked this, right?” – Buzz Aldrin #WorseMoonLandingQuotes @midnight

“Your momma is so fat, I can still see her!” #WorseMoonLandingQuotes @midnight

“They fuck you in the drive-thru!” #WorseMoonLandingQuotes @midnight

“I’m not the man they think I am at home, Oh no no no I’m a rocket man.” #WorseMoonLandingQuotes @midnight

“We could have been saved tons of money if we’d used a cannon like in Le Voyage dans la Lune?” – NASA #WorseMoonLandingQuotes @midnight

“Tower, this is Apollo requesting a flyby.” “Negative, Apollo, the moon is full.” #WorseMoonLandingQuotes @midnight

“Symmetrical moon rock stacking. Just like the Philadelphia mass turbulence of 1947.” #WorseMoonLandingQuotes @midnight

CAPTION CENTRAL

Angus didn’t know mesh shirts were against the law, but he damn sure wasn’t going to jail for it.

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