Dear Fellow Liberals: Let’s Talk About Comedy

Dear fellow liberals,

We need to talk about comedy and jokes. Right now a good percentage of you are giving Conservatives a hard time about their feelings being hurt over Michelle Wolf’s material at the White House Correspondence Dinner. You are calling them hypocrites for being upset at her “vulgarity” and “being offensive” when they have spent the entire Trump campaign and presidency being both of those. You are calling them out for putting up with Trump’s offensive comments and behavior while they are now throwing a fit over Michelle’s comments. They should be called out for letting Trump get away with his actual vulgar comments and behavior while getting upset at Michelle’s non-vulgar comments (her use of the word pussy was clearly a reference to Trump – she wasn’t using it in her own vulgar way).

Michelle Wolf at the WHCD. (Photo by Cheriss May via Getty Images)

Let’s be honest: most liberals are being hypocrites here as well. How many times last year alone did the so-called liberal “social justice warriors” rail against a comedian? How many times did you personally get offended by a comedian after hearing about the “public outrage” in your Facebook feed? How many times was there public backlash against a comedian who made a gay joke? Who made a joke you found racist? Who made a joke about fat people (or skinny people) and liberals hated that body shaming stuff? Who made a joke about transgendered persons? Who made a joke about his girlfriend that liberals found sexist?

Of course Conservatives are upset. They are upset for the exact same reason you get upset when a comedian makes fun of your pet issue: be that LGBQT, obesity, mental illness, sexism, body shaming, etc.

This is what I refer to as the “It’s all funny until they make fun of me or my pet issue Syndrome.” You will sit there and laugh at the fat jokes and the jokes about the special needs kid, but then the comedian made a joke about a gay person! How dare he! That’s my pet issue! Now I’m going to rant and rave and call this comedian out for being a homophobic asshole!

So here’s an idea: stop getting butthurt by comedy. You cannot laugh at all the jokes except the ones that make fun of your personal pet issue. Comedy, by its nature, is offensive. You can sit there and say, “Not all jokes are offensive,” but what you mean is, “Not all jokes are offensive to me.” Just because YOU didn’t get offended doesn’t mean the joke isn’t offensive to someone or some ideology or some mindset. So chill out and let comedians do their thing without getting upset because they made fun of your personal issue.

I can hear it already, “But those jokes are different!” No. They’re not. They are only different in your head because you need them to be different to justify your hurt feelings. Laugh or don’t laugh. Then move the fuck on with your life.

If you’ve ever been upset in the past by a comedian’s joke and are now defending Michelle Wolf against upset Conservatives, then you are just as much a hypocrite as they are.

BWAHAHA 12/20 – 12/26:

BWAHAHA (Blair’s Week Attempts at Haha’s) 12/20 – 12/26: My GF stumbled upon one of the best written articles I’ve ever seen written about white privilege for white people – by a white person. Remember, privilege isn’t an insult or a bad word. What’s important is that you recognize that you have it and more importantly, that others do not have it (be that white, male, class, etc). Read the article HERE.

So this week was Christmas. I’m one of those atheists who celebrates Christmas. Why? Because no one goes to the mall to sit on Jesus’ lap, that’s why. So what’d you get for Christmas? My friends and my GF got me a lot of stuff I’ll need for the Zombiepocalypse (or camping) and plenty of vaping stuff. I got a tactical vest, tactical leg pouch, 9-in-1 shovel (it comes with a fucking bayonet!), 35-LED light stick, three 10-LED head lamps, camp stove, Aspire Atlantis tank (and five replacement coils), a gift certificate to Professor Vapes (located in Madison, AL), a full body massage at the Chinese Massage place in Huntsville, and a new cutlery set for my kitchen. I did pretty damn good this Christmas!

My friends and I watched The Interview this week (no spoilers, I promise). There were some pretty good laughs throughout the movie. If you are one of my fellow liberals who was worried about a movie showing an assassination of a sitting leader, you should actually watch the movie. It’s not what you expect. I won’t spoil it, just watch it and stop jumping to the wrong conclusions. The Interview has tons of in-your-face and hidden social commentary about diplomacy, foreign policy, media, etc. The Interview is social commentary wrapped in comedy and slapstick. Don’t let the terrorists win! Watch The Interview!

I did get to do a little bit of storm chasing this week, but Alabama proved to be frustrating as always when it comes to chasing storms. At least I got to test out the new AcuRite. It’s designed to mount in your backyard, but I mounted it on the roof of my car. Worked like a champ! Thanks AcuRite!

OTHER STUFF:

• Out and about and I left my wallet at home. Guess I’m not eating or accomplishing anything. #EarlyAlzheimers
• Thanks to Old Time Pottery, I have more glitter on me than Tinker Bell.
• Some Christmas music I actually like!
• Chasing in Alabama is frustrating. If the cell doesn’t dissipate, trees block the view or farmer John holds up traffic.
• Something to do on the next camping trip… and by trip… I mean acid trip.
• Normally we go eat Chinese buffet on Christmas Day with friends. But we found out that Indian Palace is open today! Yep, that trumps Chinese!

• 

  Who ordered the rain donut?

140 CHARACTER ASSASSINATIONS:

• Tripster: a hipster in training.
• Mutant: someone who participates in a mutiny.
• Kumquats are amazing. It’s like a pear and a tangerine had sex.
• At Joe Cocker’s funeral, you can leave your hat on. #RIPJoeCocker
• Thanks to smart phones, awkward silences aren’t that awkward anymore.

CAPTION CENTRAL:

• 

  I can’t tell… is she keeping his hand warm or is he keeping her butt warm? Or is it more a symbiotic relationship?

• 

  Do you even hack, bro?!?!

• 

  Stand back! I’m about to try a physics experiment!

BWAHAHA: 9/20 – 9/26

BWAHAHA (Blair’s Week Attempts at Haha’s) 9/20 – 9/26: This was a pretty boring week all in all. First, let me go on a bit of a rant for a second about the Flood Wall Street. Look, I support the idea behind Flood Wall Street, but it is suffering from the same problem that Occupy Wall Street suffered: lack of leadership. This idiotic idea that they have that there should be no leadership is just that: fucking idiotic. That’s the kind of idea that makes my fellow liberals look like crazies. Pick a few core values and messages so everyone stays on point, instead of having some random nut go on a rant about how the military should be banned completely, because that’s totally inline with the message of corporations doing more to help the environment. See, this is what killed Occupy… they didn’t have a core message and intent, and so they attracted all the nutters from the left (9/11 conspiracy theorists, anarchists, etc) and there was no consistent message for either the media or Wall Street to actually focus on. So did we learn that lesson? Apparently not. We’re supposed to be protesting corporations that aren’t doing anything about climate change and protecting natural resources. I am totally behind that message. But it was turned into anti-corporate nonsense, anarchism, anti-GMO, conspiracy theories, etc. There’s no clear or concise message and no true leadership, so a bunch of liberal nutters (yes, my fellow liberals, we have nutters as well) are there making fools of the entire effort. A movement requires leadership and direction that espouses the common core values of the varied opinions under it. When the varied opinions are allowed to have the lead voice, then the core values diminish. It’s the opposite problem of the common cliche: “Too many Indians and not enough Chiefs.”

And on the conservative side of stupidity this week: outrage over President Obama saluting while holding a coffee cup in his hand. This is a classic case of conservative outrage based on their complete ignorance. It’s fake outrage – just for the sake of outrage. None of them said a damn thing when President Bush saluted while holding something or when he did a half-assed salute. Gosh, I wonder why they’re only outraged at President Obama. Here’s a small quote from Snopes.Com over the issue (as a former military person myself, this is accurate), “According to standard military protocol, it is not appropriate for the President of the United States to return salutes from uniformed military personnel because, although the President holds the title of Commander-in-Chief of the U.S. armed forces, he is not himself a member of the military, nor does he wear a uniform. The tradition of U.S. presidents’ returning salutes is a fairly recent one which began with the administration of President Ronald Reagan in 1981.” So take your outrage and shove it back where it belongs. Oh, and stop voting against your best interest. Haven’t you noticed that the states with the worst healthcare, highest high school drop out rates, highest drug use, highest murder rates/capita, highest rape cases, etc. are all in states that are conservative? No? Oh, must be those rage blinders you have on preventing you from seeing actual facts.

Okay, I feel better…

OTHER STUFF:

Clearly ‘Need for Speed’ wants me to go chasing storms. Too bad there are none around me.

I realized this weekend that I’ve mistakenly been using carpet cleaner as laundry soap. PRO side: clothes no longer have high traffic marks.

If the Falmer are blind, why do they have torches? ‪#‎GameLogic‬ ‪#‎Skyrim

It takes just as long to load a 20 square foot room as it does to load the entire world map. #GameLogic

I have no dog in tonight’s fight, but I’m gonna side with the Jets because I still haven’t forgiven the Bears for the Superbowl Shuffle.

Wait, did I really just see Hayden Christensen instead of David Prowse at the end of Return of the Jedi? That makes no sense!

Who did this? Who put Ghost Pepper powder in the water the pasta was boiling in? Oh yeah, that was me. #Brilliant

I have Chaser Cabin Fever: no storms for three weeks, and zero clouds for the past three days. All work and no play…

140 CHARACTER ASSASSINATIONS:

#ItsFallBecasue I just saw my first War On Christmas billboard. #ShotsFired @midnight

#ItsFallBecasue I can’t tell the strippers apart anymore because fall clothing is taking over. @midnight

#ItsFallBecasue I’m budgeting school lunches again. @midnight

#ItsFallBecasue Candy Corn is on sale at CVS. @midnight

#ItsFallBecasue Evangelical Christians are already making Trunk Or Treat plans to offset the Dark Lord’s Holiday. @midnight

#ItsFallBecasue orange and black clothes made by Indonesian children are on sale at Walmart. @midnight

#ItsFallBecasue white girls in yoga pants are ordering pumpkin spice lattes. @midnight

#ItsFallBecasue leaves are catching fire in my ride on mower’s belt. #BadFriction @midnight

#ItsFallBecasue there is Canadian geese shit in my back yard. @midnight

#ItsFallBecasue the cotton plantations in Mississippi and Alabama hired a bunch of illegals for less than minimum wage. #NotFunny @midnight

#ItsFallBecause the pool section at Walmart is only one shelf. @midnight

#ItsFallBecause ass cheeks are less visible at #PeopleOfWalmart @midnight

#ItsFallBecause the Earth’s Tilt is the Reason for the Season. Because science, beotches! @midnight

#ItsFallBecause bikinis are on sale for $2 and long-sleeved shirts are $85. #SupplyAndDemand @midnight

#ItsFallBecause schools are promoting “Fall Festivals” instead of Halloween Parties. #ImOffendedTooEasily @midnight

#ItsFallBecause because I can actually find a parking spot at Daytona Beach. @midnight

#ItsFallBecause the white plantation owners have new black employees. #NFL #NFLDraft #TooSoon @midnight

#ItsFallBecause the Australians say it’s Spring, and fuck the Australians. @midnight

#ItsFallBecause the Wiccans are suddenly in a good mood. @midnight

#ItsFallBecause the calendar says so, and calendars are always right, just like the Internet. Just ask Pope Gregory. @midnight

#ItsFallBecause my neighbors are complaining about me burning leaves. I gotta hear you fight, you can smell my leaves! @midnight

#ItsFallBecause meth dealers are preparing for indoor sales. #RollTide @midnight

#ItsFallBecause old men are taking off their sandals and putting shoes on their black socks instead. @midnight

#ItsFallBecause it’s 49 degrees in Maine and 86 degrees in Florida. @midnight

#ItsFallBecause Christmas sex babies are being born now. @midnight

LifeInTheSlowLane.com #ElderlyWebsites @midnight

OilOfOldAge.com #ElderlyWebsites @midnight

LegendOfZelder.com #ElderlyWebsites @midnight

AgingBull.com #ElderlyWebsites @midnight

mantique.com #ElderlyWebsites @midnight

vegeriatric.com #ElderlyWebsites @midnight

GoldenShowerAge.com #ElderlyWebsites @midnight

gerontophillia.com #ElderlyWebsites @midnight

grannytrannie.com #ElderlyWebsites @midnight

geezerteasers.com #ElderlyWebsites @midnight

OldMaidOfHonor.com #ElderlyWebsites @midnight

SpinsterHipster.com #ElderlyWebsites @midnight

antediluvian.com #ElderlyWebsites @midnight

GetOffMyGrass.com #ElderlyWebsites @midnight

Valhalla.com #ElderlyWebsites @midnight

BetterGoToChurchJustInCase.com #ElderlyWebsites @midnight

GraveyardShift.com #ElderlyWebsites @midnight

re-tired.goodyear.com #ElderlyWebsites @midnight

ElderlyPeopleMeet.com #ElderlyWebsites @midnight

YouBreathingTube.com #ElderlyWebsites @midnight

spinsterest.com #ElderlyWebsites @midnight

Instagranny.com #ElderlyWebsites @midnight

Imguriatrics.com #ElderlyWebsites @midnight

Huffingtonoxygenpost.com #ElderlyWebsites @midnight

Stumblr.com #ElderlyWebsites @midnight

Netaflixions.com #ElderlyWebsites @midnight

yelpIveFallenAndCantGetUp.com #ElderlyWebsites @midnight

Aol.com (Oh wait, that’s legit) #ElderlyWebsites @midnight

Microsoftpenis.com #ElderlyWebsites @midnight

Employment.Walmart.com #ElderlyWebsites @midnight

Buzzgavagefeed.com #ElderlyWebsites @midnight

Godaddyissues.com #ElderlyWebsites @midnight

Lifespandora.com #ElderlyWebsites @midnight

Dropdeadbox.com #ElderlyWebsites @midnight

Tripandfalladvisor.com #ElderlyWebsites @midnight

Deviantoldfart.com #ElderlyWebsites @midnight

Geriatricmail.com #ElderlyWebsites @midnight

Photobucketlist.com #ElderlyWebsites @midnight

Bloomersberg.com #ElderlyWebsites @midnight

dailynotinmotion.com #ElderlyWebsites @midnight

Stutterstock.com #ElderlyWebsites @midnight

Nordstromthurman.com #ElderlyWebsites @midnight

MedicalExaminer.com #ElderlyWebsites @midnight

4gran.org #ElderlyWebsites @midnight

Crackedhip.com #ElderlyWebsites @midnight

Liveleakinmydepends.com #ElderlyWebsites @midnight

CAPTION CENTRAL:

Wow, I didn’t realize there were so many orphans in this city!

Some tourists just have no respect for those of us wanting some peace and quiet!

Ten minutes into his routine, the male stripper realized it was the wrong car and the wrong customer.

#RedBox, so easy and fast you can pick up a new movie after you’ve realized you need a new movie while having sex.

I do believe this inflatable is suffering from prolapse.

For those really late term abortions…