BWAHAHA: 8/30 – 9/5

BWAHAHA (Blair’s Week Attempts at Haha’s) 8/30 – 9/5: This was one of those weeks where work was driving me crazy. Hey, let’s take a facility contract that’s been on hold for almost two years and roll it out in two weeks! Wait, you mean I essentially have two weeks to get over a month’s amount of work done? Oh, and then you’re gonna go apeshit when you find out two days before the install that stuff’s not done? Well gosh, maybe you shoulda fuckin’ thunk that shit through beforehand!

But at least I got to chase a few storms this week and ended the weekend with friends at a wedding. While that’s great for my friends who got married, my girlfriend and I both looked at each other with the “nope, never” eyes. And that’s why I love her!

OTHER STUFF:

Thanks to the three peeps who stopped to ask, “You okay?” while I was parked on the side of the road shooting storms. Yep, unless we’re talking about my head.

Ha ha! My magic weather bubble is working! BWAHAHA!

What is up with the crazy models on the new invest?

Why is Beefy Fritos Burritos so hard to say sober? Taco Bell should call them Fritorritos!

I present Exhibit A against my girlfriend’s insistence that I don’t pay attention when driving:

While my Magic Weather Bubble keeps me dry, it also keeps me from chasing storms. #ProsAndCons #Wizarding101

It’s not real cooking without a fire! Turned off burner and let it burn out.

Kids playing in Bicentennial Park, Nashville. #FavNashPic
Wrong Nash? Nope, screw that Nash guy.

Seriously….

140 CHARACTER ASSASSINATIONS:

I can’t tell if my glasses are smudged or if I’m at a vape meet.

#facebookdown – so go ahead and reintroduce yourself to that Google+ account you never used.

I’m pretty sure #facebookdown was a Twitter conspiracy to drive traffic to Twitter.

“I’ve had so much plastic surgery, when I die they will donate my body to Tupperware.” – Joan Rivers. Tupperware is waiting. #RIPJoanRivers

CAPTION CENTRAL:

Because this is the way the school year always started when I went to school! Yeah. Right.

No wonder Sasquatch is always so angry in those commercials: he’s a drunkard!

When asked why he hit the mannequin, John replied, “I thought it was Justin Bieber.”

When otters get Ebola.

We really need more ATMs installed in the Death Star.

“OMG, I’m going to find the person who leaked my photos and beat the shit out of them with this pink baseball bat!”

Atlanta PD will be transporting this prisoner to Block AA-23, Cell 2187.

Ronald refused to honor the restraining order obtained by Burger King.

The set of Batman Vs Superman got a little carried away.

When taking weather photos, make sure no animals are mating in the photo. Or go out of the way to make sure they are.

OMG! Someone built a Need for Speed road!

Okay McDonald’s, stop giving Japan special treatment and bring this awesome to the states: especially near me.

BWAHAHA: 1/18 – 1/24

BWAHAHA (Blair’s Week Attempts at Haha’s) 1/18 – 1/24: I got sucked into Far Cry 3 this week and didn’t Facebook as much as I normally do. Hell, I had to practically force myself to leave my house on several occasions to hang out with my friends. One of those occasions was the Vape Meet here in Huntsville. The Vape Meet is for vapers, people who smoke e-cigs. I gotta say I fucking hate the word “e-cig” since nothing about an e-cig is “cig.” It’s just nicotine, which is present in many vegetables and is in chocolate. In fact it’s easier to extract nicotine from chocolate than it is from tobacco. But because it’s called an e-cig, people still freak out and now idiots are trying to ban them. UGH!

So to the Vape Meet. I purchased $9 in raffle tickets and won five times! I won about $150 worth of stuff. What was funny is the guys at the table next to me were actually getting irritated at how much I was winning, so I made sure I said out out, “That’s why you buy a bunch of tickets: increases your chances of winning!” Then they yelled out when I won again, “Shuffle the tickets.” Oh skeptic failures, random is random: shuffling isn’t going to solve the issue when I have so many tickets in the bucket anyway. It’s not cheating or favoritism: it’s just pure fucking change! Idiots.

1/19

Woman next to me just pronounced grenade as “graynaid.” Oh Southerners.

1/20

#MoreFakeThanWendyDavis is trending? You mean like the intellect of people tweeting it? Wait… I just tweeted it.

I’m wearing my carpenter jeans today. I have a sudden urge to walk on water. Or to sing, sing a song, sing out loud, sing out strong.

1/22

New evidence that possibly half of all terrorist attacks were accidental.

Three hour tour… Russian style.

When we say we’re against slut shaming, isn’t that saying, “You’re still a slut, we’re just not going to shame you”?

I’m on a house, yo! On a house, yo! I’m on a motherfuckin’ house yo!

1/24

Hugs are a riot!
My friend Chris pointed out all the tear gas canisters on the officer behind the hug recipient. That’s enough tear gas to make you tear up while looking at this picture.

Nothing says convenience store like convenience!

The Cult of Bieber is trending #WeWillAlwaysSupportYouJustin. Really Bieberites? So pathetic! #DeportBieber