BWAHAHA 3/14 – 3/20

BWAHAHA (Blair’s Week Attempts at Haha’s) 3/14 – 3/20: I had a really awesome birthday. I didn’t want a birthday party and just asked my friends to come over and play Karaoke Against Humanity with me. But they brought me presents and made it awesome anyway. I got plenty of hot stuff, some alcohol, and goodies, and I got this amazing handmade figurine of me made by my friend Cory. It’s fucking awesome (pic below)! What is Karaoke Against Humanity you ask? Well, you play Cards Against Humanity like normal, but the reader chooses the worst card (in addition to the winning card) and the person who played that card has to sing a random karaoke song to the rest of the players. The way I do it is I pick “songs everyone should know” based on several lists and compile them into a numbered file and then the loser has to pick a random number out of a bowl and sing that number. No one knows what you’re going to sing until it appears on the screen. Don’t know the song? Too fucking bad… just make that shit up.

OTHER STUFF:

  • My friend Cory made this for me for my birthday. The details are amazing, from my hanging wallet, to the EBM graphic tee, glasses, and my "gay Jesus stance." Cory, I love 'ya man!

    My friend Cory made this for me for my birthday. The details are amazing, from my hanging wallet, to the EBM graphic tee, glasses, and my “gay Jesus stance.” Cory, I love ‘ya man!

  • Caught a vendor selling fake gems at the Rock & Gem show. UGH, what a rock tease!
  • 20150316b

    Good, now I can post this picture on Facebook without having to worry about being banned.

  • The IRS mileage rate is now $0.575/mile. Might be time for a trip somewhere…
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140 CHARACTER ASSASSINATIONS:

  • Osmosis: When you lose a couple of pounds listening to Marie Osmond talk about NutriSystem. #NewDefinitions
  • I guess we got tired of just zombies getting killed and were like, let’s kill humans tonight. ‪#‎TWD‬ ‪#‎DeadBuzz‬
  • Only the good die young. ‪#‎TWD‬ ‪#‎DeadBuzz‬ ‪#‎RIPNoah‬
  • Interstellar would have been a better movie if the wormhole went to ‪#‎Poopiter‬ @midnight

CAPTION CENTRAL:

  • No one told Tigger that bouncing was illegal in Thailand. Tigger done bounced too far this time!

    No one told Tigger that bouncing was illegal in Thailand. Tigger done bounced too far this time!

This week on Twitter (5/10 – 5/17)

This week on Twitter (5/10 – 5/17). Yeah, I know, it’s already July 24th, but I’ve got lots of catching up to do because I’m lazy as fuck but now and then get a bug up my ass to get my shit caught up.

5/10

Couldn’t light the candles because I don’t have a lighter in the house: ah, the joys of being a non-smoker now.

5/11

In the last 60 sec’s, Americans ate 27,000 hot dogs. Yep, dogs truly are man’s best friend.

Trending on Twitter now: “#HowToBlendInWithWhitePeople” – Somehow I don’t think that’s gonna be good for any color.

5/12

The new show “Ultimate Survivor: Alaska” is about not getting an STD, right?

5/14

So how is #AngelinaJolie supposed to film Salt II without her shakers?

Universal Studios has just announced that #AngelinaJolie will be starring in “Boob, Interrupted” followed by “Fuck Cancer!” #GoGirl

Taken 3: Bryan Mills on the phone with #AngelinaJolie ‘s breasts, “The next part is very important. They’re going to take you.”

#IfLilWaynesARapper then #AngelinaJolie is breastfeeding babies. #TooSoon

The Six-Fingered Man is participating in the #MarchAgainstMonsanto because Monsanto killed his father. Vicious cycle.

5/15

What irritates me most about the IRS scandal? It’s put Tea Party spokesidiots back on news shows. Thanks IRS.

5/16

I’m going to change my middle name to “TeaParty” so it takes the #IRS longer to realize I owe them money.