BWAHAHA: 8/16 – 8/22

BWAHAHA (Blair’s Week Attempts at Haha’s) 8/16 – 8/22: This was an interesting week. Ferguson went crazy, Barðarbunga threatened to erupt (it actually began a small eruption on 8/23), St Louis PD shot a man for stealing two sodas, the San Francisco police shot a man for not paying his bus fare, and I finally put primer on my bathroom wall! What happened to Freedom of Press in this country? Why are the police putting media in a “designated press area” when shit’s going crazy? No one puts the media in a “designated media area” in  a war zone, but when riots are breaking out, suddenly we’re concerned about the safety of the media? I call bullshit. A “designated media area” is contrary to the very idea of Freedom of Press. Yeah, I know, no humor in there, sorry.

On the bright side of this week, a few storms rolled through that were close enough for me to chase during my lunch break. Chasing is something that makes me very happy, especially when I can get out of the office for a bit to do it.

OTHER STUFF:

Always funny when the camera only captures part of the lightning. It just looks so weird. #alwx 8/17/2014 13:34:02

So True! (created by Blair Scott)

If you say “possibly” “maybe” “I wonder” or “perhaps” while on air, you’re not being a journalist, you’re being a talk show host.

Chasemares… (created by Blair Scott)

While chasing Monday in Huntsville, I was looking at the radar and laughing, “Oh look, there’s a hurricane just south of me.“

I’ve found a few spots around here with at least a one mile unobstructed view: now if I can just get the storms to go there.

Chasemares… (created by Blair Scott)

Just chillin’! Drinkin’ some Windex!

Waiting for bats in Arkansas. Wait, is my GF naked behind me? #MidnightVacation @midnight

Perfect vacation? Chasing tornadoes in Alabama! #MidnightVacation @midnight

I just declined the #IceBucketChallenge because the ALSA only gives 27% to research. I only donate to orgs that give at least 50%. #SourPuss

140 CHARACTER ASSASSINATIONS:

There was a bug hovering above the toilet water. Was.

Ice Water Challenge for Drought Awareness #NextBigCharityChallenge @midnight

Shake Weight Challenge for Parkinson’s Disease Awareness #NextBigCharityChallenge @midnight

Hot Dog Eating Contest for Hunger Awareness #NextBigCharityChallenge @midnight

Maalox Challenge for Irritable Bowel Syndrome Awareness #NextBigCharityChallenge @midnight

Sudoku Challenge for ADHD Awareness #NextBigCharityChallenge @midnight

Black Out Drunk Challenge for Alzheimer’s Disease Awareness #NextBigCharityChallenge @midnight

Powdered White Donut Challenge for Anthrax Awareness #NextBigCharityChallenge @midnight

72oz Steak Challenge for E.Coli Awareness #NextBigCharityChallenge @midnight

Pumping Iron Competition for Hemochromatosis Awareness #NextBigCharityChallenge @midnight

Fishing Contest for Hookworm Awareness #NextBigCharityChallenge @midnight

Suzanne Somers Thigh Master Competition for PID (Pelvic Inflammatory Disease) Awareness #NextBigCharityChallenge @midnight

Roof Building for Shingles Awareness #NextBigCharityChallenge @midnight

Now that the media has been kicked out, back to our normal everyday lives of ignoring reality. #Ferguson #FreedomOfPress

#OneDirectionAlbumLeaked : Well, I guess we better put the boys back in diapers.

You’ve Got Ghost #SupernaturalRomComs @midnight

10 Things I Hate About Boo #SupernaturalRomComs @midnight

The 40-Year-Old Vampire #SupernaturalRomComs @midnight

Psychic-Drunk Love #SupernaturalRomComs @midnight

Poltergeist In Pink #SupernaturalRomComs @midnight

Slenderman In Seattle #SupernaturalRomComs @midnight

Sixteen Candelabras #SupernaturalRomComs @midnight

It Happened One Black Knight #SupernaturalRomComs @midnight

The Purple Ghost of Cairo #SupernaturalRomComs @midnight

(500) Days of Summermaids #SupernaturalRomComs @midnight

His Girl Friday the 13th #SupernaturalRomComs @midnight

Chasing Bigfoot #SupernaturalRomComs @midnight

Bridget Jones’s Dhampirs #SupernaturalRomComs @midnight

Werewolf and Maude #SupernaturalRomComs @midnight

Four Warlocks and a Funeral #SupernaturalRomComs @midnight

Slay Anything #SupernaturalRomComs @midnight

The Princess Corpse Bride #SupernaturalRomComs @midnight

When Fairy Met Sally #SupernaturalRomComs @midnight

Witch Perfect #SupernaturalRomComs @midnight

Mermaid In Manhattan #SupernaturalRomComs @midnight

American Psy #SupernaturalRomComs @midnight

Warlock of Ages #SupernaturalRomComs @midnight

There’s Something About Mary Shelley #SupernaturalRomComs @midnight

Banshee’s Just Not That Into You #SupernaturalRomComs @midnight

Deconstructing Fairy #SupernaturalRomComs @midnight

Bigfoot Loose #SupernaturalRomComs @midnight

Fast Times at Ridgemont Psy #SupernaturalRomComs @midnight

50 First Wraiths #SupernaturalRomComs @midnight

Hex and the City #SupernaturalRomComs @midnight

2.6 million children starve to death every year. You think god cares about your grades. Even Helen Keller didn’t have blind faith like that.

Knocked down every fighter. Destroyed every torpedo plane and bomber before they dropped their loads. Still lost Pearl Harbor. #GameLogic

CAPTION CENTRAL:

Mmm….. balls.

When you absolutely, positively, must be prepared for the paparazzi.

When the man you’re dating just won’t get the hint and make a move…

Aww, the Holy Grail rabbits are all growed up!

Because nothing says “I Love Jesus” more than crosses on your leggings and underwear!

WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Trust me ladies when I tell you that this guy has crabs.

How many times do I have to warn all of you to constantly be aware of your surroundings?

Meanwhile, in Kansas…

BWAHAHA: 7/12 – 7/18

BWAHAHA (Blair’s Week Attempts at Haha’s) 7/12 – 7/18: All week the great storms went north and south of me. Everything that was coming my way that looked promising, petered or fizzled out. And then when it did rain… it was a boring, drippy, drizzling, fuck the sun kinda rain for 48 hours. Fuck you Mother Nature! But hey, I had two days of “fall weather” or “spring weather,” depending on one’s personal preference, so I figured why not get some yard work done! But that damn green hose was hiding in the tall green grass (tall because it’s been fucking raining for days) and gets sucked into the blades of my John Deere. And there ends my yard work. The John Deere is still sitting where it stalled and got the hose stuck in it. Why is it still sitting there? Because it’s FUCKING RAINING again! For two days fucking straight! Seriously, fuck you Mother Nature.

OTHER

Years of Tetris prepared me for packing boxes and moving trucks, but it didn’t prepare me for Alabama heat! #alwx #MissingPolarVortex

I forgot to post the pic of the “supermoon!” What was I thinking?

I’m convinced at this point that Mother Nature’s fucking with me.

I find myself torn between Weird Al’s take and Stephen Fry’s take. #FirstWorldProblems

A great way to ID trouble spots, the third world, and places no one wants to go.

140 CHARACTER ASSASSINATIONS

Mud Truck with Confederate flag in window & secret KKK symbol on bumper. Roll alongside and they’re head bopping to NWA. #DoingRacismWrong

The last time in history that this many people across the globe were talking about Germany, they were rooting against them.

Road Kill collector. #BadSummerJobs

Pool boy at a porn set. #BadSummerJobs

Gutter cleaner after a hurricane. #BadSummerJobs

Holding lightning attraction devices for research scientists in Florida. #BadSummerJobs

Riding shotgun to Reed Timmer documenting how many times he gets excited. #BadSummerJobs

The Public Relations person dealing with real life storm chasers criticizing the science after #IntoTheStorm hits theaters. #BadSummerJobs

Why do they call it “Conspiracy Thinking” when there’s no thinking involved?

Another Malaysian flight, Israel invades Gaza, ISIS being stupid in Syria & Iraq, Beiber DUI: #AlexJones must be going apeshit about now.

CAPTION CENTRAL

Found my new storm chasing pants!

WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How many times do I need to tell you? Always be aware of your surroundings!

And so the rise of the apes starts…

Hurricane, tornado, or Godzilla?

Impervious to workplace flatulence.

30 years ago, Tina was left standing at the altar. She’s never fully recovered from that experience.

Camels make it through the eye of the needle and the rich get into Heaven. We’ll just ignore Matthew 19:24.