This week on Twitter (6/29 – 7/5)
6/30
Getting whiffs of marijuana while sitting at my desk. Either someone’s smoking tons near my house or I’m having a frontal lobe seizure.
#BETAwardsPreShow, all these posts about B. Scott are really confusing me.
#BETAwardsPreShow, they just gave #KanyeWest his own microphone this year.
OMG, why didn’t someone tell me that Deb killed LaGuerta!?!?!?!
7/1
Teabaggers are happy today: Obama went back to Africa. I don’t have the heart to tell them he’s coming back.
I can’t tell if #summerknights is a new song or a code letting the Klan know they can wear short-sleeve robes.
7/2
#IfMyMomHadATwitter she’d never use it, because she could never talk in less than 140 characters.
#TheSecretToLifeIs laughing at the size of your penis instead of crying over it.
Technically speaking, a log cabin is a treehouse.
7/4
My friend is stuck at the Sheremetyevo Airport. Apparently there was a blizzard because the airport is #Snowden.
Anyone else heard that new Bangles’ song, “Coup Like An Egyptian?”
Apparently the Egyptians don’t like The Smiths, as they just kicked #Morsi out.
Celebrating July 4th by kicking a Native American in the balls. Just feels like the right thing to do.
Apparently, fans of The Smiths have decided to fight back and get #Morsi back into Egypt.
Blair Scott: Synthentral 