BWAHAHA 4/4 – 4/10

BWAHAHA (Blair’s Week Attempts at Haha’s) 4/4 – 4/10: This was a super fun week for us. We went to Memphis to enjoy the sights, sounds, and foods. We also got to hang out with some friends I haven’t seen in a couple of years since I left the movement. Going back into that scene there were a few times where I was reminded of why I left the movement in the first place. What’s the movement? I’m not going to explain it. It’s too long of a story. Those who know what I’m talking about benefit here.

Thanks to recent events, we’re more broke than normal. That made the decision to go or not to Memphis a tough one. We had already paid for the hotels months ago. So we just had to come up with gas and food costs. This meant that the money we did spend needed to count. So eating at places with horrible food just really pissed us off. Ribs are ribs are ribs, right? Well, they should be. What should separate a place is not the meat, but the sauce. Unfortunately, there are places that don’t know how to cook the meat properly. The only reason they still exist is because of tourism (I’m still irked at myself for falling into a tourist trap). The locals do not eat there because they know better. Well, now we know better too. If you do know how to cook the meat so it’s perfect, you better have a damn good sauce! So why were two places using fucking Kraft BBQ sauce? Seriously!?!?!?!? If you didn’t buy it off the shelf and actually made it yourself, why would you make a sauce that tastes just fucking like Kraft BBQ sauce?

The crazy part of the trip was that everything we wanted to do was closed. Mud Island opened up the weekend after our visit. The Botanical Gardens were closed for a stupid Easter Egg hunt (fuck you Easter Bunny, you fascist commie neo-Nazi pig). The Civil Rights Museum was closed because it was the anniversary of the assassination of MLK. We actually decided to go to that, but realized quickly that it was way too crowded and parking and traffic were a nightmare. So we spent our days and most nights on Beale St. That was just fine with us.

OTHER STUFF:

  • Listening to foreign tourists is always fun. “German German German German Memphis best ribs German German Elvis German German German.”
  • Found my new look.

    Found my new look.

  • I just thought the world should know that Suzie is in the bathroom singing Staying Alive by the Bee Gees. I love that woman! LOL
  • All in a line for me. Hoping for some good lightning shots. Chasing after 3am. Lol

    All in a line for me. Hoping for some good lightning shots. Chasing after 3am. Lol

  • When I see other players on a Destiny map, I go help them. But here I am, fighting all the big stuff… by myself. LOL
  • Seriously, deodorant is a thing. Fucking use it! We don’t want to smell you from fifteen feet away. Oh, and patchouli makes it worse. Ugh!
  • Accidental twinsies tonight. Both in khakis, black shirt, and hiking shoes. Waiting outside for Seabound. — at The Masquerade.

    Accidental twinsies tonight. Both in khakis, black shirt, and hiking shoes. Waiting outside for Seabound. — at The Masquerade.

  • Current playlist… I’m sensing a theme here…
    • I’m So Sick
    • I Can’t Breathe
    • Sick and Tired
    • Sickliest Creep
    • Down With The Sickness
    • Flatline

@MIDNIGHT #HASHTAGWARS:

  • I Rage Quit My Life #MyTombstoneIn5Words @midnight
  • He Died Screaming… At Republicans #MyTombstoneIn5Words @midnight
  • Miracle He Lived That Long #MyTombstoneIn5Words @midnight
  • Poor Fellow Drowned in Jell-O #MyTombstoneIn5Words @midnight
  • Stupid Mortals Crucified Me Again #MyTombstoneIn5Words @midnight
  • Quit Smoking, Died While Exercising #MyTombstoneIn5Words @midnight
  • Took His Ball & Went Home #MyTombstoneIn5Words @midnight
  • Failed To Start the Zombiepocalypse #MyTombstoneIn5Words @midnight
  • Missed It By This Much #MyTombstoneIn5Words @midnight
  • Hey, Someone Video Tape This #MyTombstoneIn5Words @midnight
  • Wow, Lightning Does Strike Twice #MyTombstoneIn5Words @midnight
  • Lasted Longer Than Four Hours #MyTombstoneIn5Words @midnight

BWAHAHA 10/11 – 10/17:

BWAHAHA (Blair’s Week Attempts at Haha’s) 10/11 – 10/17: I’m on the road in Pittsburgh this week. Mostly bored off my ass since the techs have everything under control and I’m here only because the contract requires a project manager on site. So I sit in my hotel room on conference calls all day… staring out the window at Pittsburgh, well, at least I think it’s Pittsburgh, because it looks like the set to The Walking Dead or The Last of Us.

OTHER STUFF:

Lightning captured with cell phone camera.

If they ever make Dr. Who a woman, they’ll have to rename it to Dr. Who-Ha.

If you’re a hippie, please don’t stand in front of the fan. Now the entire room smells like B.O. and patchouli.

I brought the obligatory chocolate pudding to the season premier of #TheWalkingDead

Older woman pulling into the oil change Bay next to me almost drove into the hole. The mechanic was screaming at her.

I feel like the theme music from JAWS should be playing as this line approaches.

I feel like the theme music from JAWS should be playing as this line approaches.

FoodValu, where the employees are still in high school and the customers have already purchased plots at the cemetery.

Watching the Ebola patient drive through Atlanta reminds me of the OJ Chase, except the woman’s not dead, yet.

The idiocy being said regarding Ebola is hyperEbolic! The only thing airborne is fear-mongering and ignorance: that shit’s contagious!

Critical Eye Podcast E045: Fifth Annual Halloween Show – It’s a Scary World Outside

My hotel room last night smelled of BO. I was worried it was me. Now I know it’s the housekeeper who stink. #DeodorantSavesLives

At least my hotel room has a great view of local artwork. #Pittsburgh

At least my hotel room has a great view of local artwork. #Pittsburgh

140 CHARACTER ASSASSINATIONS:

Tweakin’ ULY55E55 #HipHopBooks @midnight

The Drake Gatsby #HipHopBooks @midnight

Travi$ Scott Fitzgerald #HipHopBooks @midnight

Brave New World Boyz #HipHopBooks @midnight

The Soulja and the Fury #HipHopBooks @midnight

Trey Sons and Lovers #HipHopBooks @midnight

Sean Wington of the Dove #HipHopBooks @midnight

Tender is the Dizzy Wright #HipHopBooks @midnight

The Good Soulja #HipHopBooks @midnight

Lord of the Plies #HipHopBooks @midnight

The RainBow Wow #HipHopBooks @midnight

Wale Fire #HipHopBooks @midnight

Mally Malltese Falcon #HipHopBooks @midnight

Gucci Mane Street #HipHopBooks @midnight

The French Montana Lieutenant’s Woman #HipHopBooks @midnight

From Here to Eminem #HipHopBooks @midnight

The Magnififtycent Ambersons #HipHopBooks @midnight

Diary of Anne Frank Ocean #HipHopBooks @midnight

The T-Painted Bird #HipHopBooks @midnight

A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Thug Man #HipHopBooks @midnight

The Hunt for Red Café October #HipHopBooks @midnight

Stranger In a Strange Timbaland #HipHopBooks @midnight

Guilty Pleasure P #HipHopBooks @midnight

The Big Boi Sleep #HipHopBooks @midnight

Swizz Family Robinson #HipHopBooks @midnight

Hip Hop on Pop #HipHopBooks @midnight

Crapple: for all your compooting needs #RuinTechnology @midnight

Praydar: like Gaydar, but for homophobes #RuinTechnology @midnight

Sacuum Cleaner: Suck your testicles clean. #RuinTechnology @midnight

Brobots: Artificial Bromance #RuinTechnology @midnight

Hearing AIDS #RuinTechnology @midnight

Iron Lung: When you’re too tired to breathe #RuinTechnology @midnight

Penichillin: killing bacteria… one sofa at a time #RuinTechnology @midnight

Artificial Life: Facebook, Pinterest, Tumblr, Snapchat, Google+, Twitter, etc. #RuinTechnology @midnight

Scotch Tape: When you’re too drunk to hold the tumbler #RuinTechnology @midnight

Electric Blanket: When your boyfriend’s not hot enough #RuinTechnology @midnight

Nuclear Feareactor: Because the word nuclear is scary #RuinTechnology @midnight

Napalm: Self-warming lubricant #RuinTechnology @midnight

Transistors: Like a sistor, but also like a brother #RuinTechnology @midnight

Holograms: When your dealer cuts the cocaine with baking soda #RuinTechnology @midnight

Artificial Intelligence, AKA Teleprompter #RuinTechnology @midnight

Solar Cell: Even inmates deserve a little sunshine in their lives #RuinTechnology @midnight

Endorscope: Mouthwash for Ewoks #RuinTechnology @midnight

Microchip: Satan’s gateway drug #RuinTechnology @midnight

Artificial Heart: Fake feelings endorsed by sociopaths everywhere #RuinTechnology @midnight

Floppy Disc: A little Viagra and you’ve got a Hard Disk #RuinTechnology @midnight
When it lasts longer than four hours it’s a Solid State Drive

Barcodes: Don’t touch hands in the bowl of peanuts #RuinTechnology @midnight

In Vitro Fertilisation: why throw away a perfectly good turkey baster? #RuinTechnology @midnight

Superconductor Casey Jones #RuinTechnology @midnight

Cryogenics: So you can be an asshole in the future, too #RuinTechnology @midnight

Smart Swatch: Like the 80’s, but smarter #RuinTechnology @midnight

CAPTION CENTRAL:

Because fuck the homeless.

Because fuck the homeless.

Pietrov was perplexed as to why the officer thought he stole the pumpkins.

Pietrov was perplexed as to why the officer thought he stole the pumpkins.

Even trees deserve a place to sit down and relax now and then.

Even trees deserve a place to sit down and relax now and then.

Dammit, outdone by the Jones' again!

Dammit, outdone by the Jones’ again!

Every car should come with an emergency exit ladder.

Every car should come with an emergency exit ladder.

Is anyone going to tell Carlos that his head is on fire?

Is anyone going to tell Carlos that his head is on fire?

Suicide clown?

Suicide clown?

Someone needs to let Dorothy know she looks like a 1960's vagina.

Someone needs to let Dorothy know she looks like a 1960’s vagina.

"What accident? Me? I'm just sitting here smoking a cigarette." #PersonOfInterest

“What accident? Me? I’m just sitting here smoking a cigarette.” #PersonOfInterest