BWAHAHA: 8/16 – 8/22

BWAHAHA (Blair’s Week Attempts at Haha’s) 8/16 – 8/22: This was an interesting week. Ferguson went crazy, Barðarbunga threatened to erupt (it actually began a small eruption on 8/23), St Louis PD shot a man for stealing two sodas, the San Francisco police shot a man for not paying his bus fare, and I finally put primer on my bathroom wall! What happened to Freedom of Press in this country? Why are the police putting media in a “designated press area” when shit’s going crazy? No one puts the media in a “designated media area” in  a war zone, but when riots are breaking out, suddenly we’re concerned about the safety of the media? I call bullshit. A “designated media area” is contrary to the very idea of Freedom of Press. Yeah, I know, no humor in there, sorry.

On the bright side of this week, a few storms rolled through that were close enough for me to chase during my lunch break. Chasing is something that makes me very happy, especially when I can get out of the office for a bit to do it.

OTHER STUFF:

Always funny when the camera only captures part of the lightning. It just looks so weird. #alwx 8/17/2014 13:34:02

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So True! (created by Blair Scott)

If you say “possibly” “maybe” “I wonder” or “perhaps” while on air, you’re not being a journalist, you’re being a talk show host.

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Chasemares… (created by Blair Scott)

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While chasing Monday in Huntsville, I was looking at the radar and laughing, “Oh look, there’s a hurricane just south of me.

I’ve found a few spots around here with at least a one mile unobstructed view: now if I can just get the storms to go there.

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Chasemares… (created by Blair Scott)

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Just chillin’! Drinkin’ some Windex!

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Waiting for bats in Arkansas. Wait, is my GF naked behind me? #MidnightVacation @midnight

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Perfect vacation? Chasing tornadoes in Alabama! #MidnightVacation @midnight

I just declined the #IceBucketChallenge because the ALSA only gives 27% to research. I only donate to orgs that give at least 50%. #SourPuss

140 CHARACTER ASSASSINATIONS:

There was a bug hovering above the toilet water. Was.

Ice Water Challenge for Drought Awareness #NextBigCharityChallenge @midnight

Shake Weight Challenge for Parkinson’s Disease Awareness #NextBigCharityChallenge @midnight

Hot Dog Eating Contest for Hunger Awareness #NextBigCharityChallenge @midnight

Maalox Challenge for Irritable Bowel Syndrome Awareness #NextBigCharityChallenge @midnight

Sudoku Challenge for ADHD Awareness #NextBigCharityChallenge @midnight

Black Out Drunk Challenge for Alzheimer’s Disease Awareness #NextBigCharityChallenge @midnight

Powdered White Donut Challenge for Anthrax Awareness #NextBigCharityChallenge @midnight

72oz Steak Challenge for E.Coli Awareness #NextBigCharityChallenge @midnight

Pumping Iron Competition for Hemochromatosis Awareness #NextBigCharityChallenge @midnight

Fishing Contest for Hookworm Awareness #NextBigCharityChallenge @midnight

Suzanne Somers Thigh Master Competition for PID (Pelvic Inflammatory Disease) Awareness #NextBigCharityChallenge @midnight

Roof Building for Shingles Awareness #NextBigCharityChallenge @midnight

Now that the media has been kicked out, back to our normal everyday lives of ignoring reality. #Ferguson #FreedomOfPress

#OneDirectionAlbumLeaked : Well, I guess we better put the boys back in diapers.

You’ve Got Ghost #SupernaturalRomComs @midnight

10 Things I Hate About Boo #SupernaturalRomComs @midnight

The 40-Year-Old Vampire #SupernaturalRomComs @midnight

Psychic-Drunk Love #SupernaturalRomComs @midnight

Poltergeist In Pink #SupernaturalRomComs @midnight

Slenderman In Seattle #SupernaturalRomComs @midnight

Sixteen Candelabras #SupernaturalRomComs @midnight

It Happened One Black Knight #SupernaturalRomComs @midnight

The Purple Ghost of Cairo #SupernaturalRomComs @midnight

(500) Days of Summermaids #SupernaturalRomComs @midnight

His Girl Friday the 13th #SupernaturalRomComs @midnight

Chasing Bigfoot #SupernaturalRomComs @midnight

Bridget Jones’s Dhampirs #SupernaturalRomComs @midnight

Werewolf and Maude #SupernaturalRomComs @midnight

Four Warlocks and a Funeral #SupernaturalRomComs @midnight

Slay Anything #SupernaturalRomComs @midnight

The Princess Corpse Bride #SupernaturalRomComs @midnight

When Fairy Met Sally #SupernaturalRomComs @midnight

Witch Perfect #SupernaturalRomComs @midnight

Mermaid In Manhattan #SupernaturalRomComs @midnight

American Psy #SupernaturalRomComs @midnight

Warlock of Ages #SupernaturalRomComs @midnight

There’s Something About Mary Shelley #SupernaturalRomComs @midnight

Banshee’s Just Not That Into You #SupernaturalRomComs @midnight

Deconstructing Fairy #SupernaturalRomComs @midnight

Bigfoot Loose #SupernaturalRomComs @midnight

Fast Times at Ridgemont Psy #SupernaturalRomComs @midnight

50 First Wraiths #SupernaturalRomComs @midnight

Hex and the City #SupernaturalRomComs @midnight

2.6 million children starve to death every year. You think god cares about your grades. Even Helen Keller didn’t have blind faith like that.

Knocked down every fighter. Destroyed every torpedo plane and bomber before they dropped their loads. Still lost Pearl Harbor. #GameLogic

CAPTION CENTRAL:

Mmm..... balls.

Mmm….. balls.

When you absolutely, positively, must be prepared for the paparazzi.

When you absolutely, positively, must be prepared for the paparazzi.

When the man you're dating just won't get the hint and make a move...

When the man you’re dating just won’t get the hint and make a move…

Aww, the Holy Grail rabbits are all growed up!

Aww, the Holy Grail rabbits are all growed up!

Because nothing says "I Love Jesus" more than crosses on your leggings and underwear!

Because nothing says “I Love Jesus” more than crosses on your leggings and underwear!

WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Trust me ladies when I tell you that this guy has crabs.

Trust me ladies when I tell you that this guy has crabs.

How many times do I have to warn all of you to constantly be aware of your surroundings?

How many times do I have to warn all of you to constantly be aware of your surroundings?

Meanwhile, in Kansas...

Meanwhile, in Kansas…

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BWAHAHA: 3/1 – 3/7

BWAHAHA (Blair’s Week Attempts at Haha’s) 3/1 – 3/7: This week was a pretty slow week for me. I was distracted by my real job and by Suzie (Suzie, you’re amazing!).  I did get to rant and rave against skinny people who always seem to want to offer advice to us fat folks when we go on diets and exercise. He skinny person, you have no fucking clue, so fuck off.

3/1

I love it when people tell me, “That food is bad for you.” No shit! Now tell me about this Jesus guy I’ve never heard of!

What happened to “Jesus Take the Wheel?”

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What happens when you buy cheap funeral arrangements…

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Libertarian roads… part II.

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3/2

Dopamine crash in 3… 2… zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Lucky for me, Parmesan cheese tastes amazing when it’s slightly burnt.

Beth be like, “You’re not my dad!” #TWD

But I like peach schnapps! #TWD

Bad moonshine can make you go blind, just like masturbation. #TWD

Daryl came so close to a reacharound. #TWD

I think ‘Walking On Sunshine’ by Katrina & the Waves should have been playing while the house burned. #TWD

3/3

If you’re gonna party, then dammit, PARTY! (She probably has a degree in Marketing)

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Random snowflakes falling in downtown Huntsville. Someone punch Mother Nature in the crotch!

Apparently the Zombiepocalypse might be happening on my street. That’s a shitload of emergency vehicles…

Fighting the urge to sing my playlist while at the gym.

3/4

I’m pretty sure my friends have a pool going on when I change my relationship status. Dicks!

Suzie’s dog vomited all over me. That’s a sign of approval, right?

3/5

Guy pulled off a great move to avoid rear ending me at 60. So I have him a thumbs up. #MissedConnections

3/6

New FedEx home delivery…

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Physics: sometimes you just can’t explain that shit.

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I made the shirt I’ll be wearing at DragonCon this year (buy your own here):

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