Dear Fellow Liberals: Let’s Talk About Comedy

Dear fellow liberals,

We need to talk about comedy and jokes. Right now a good percentage of you are giving Conservatives a hard time about their feelings being hurt over Michelle Wolf’s material at the White House Correspondence Dinner. You are calling them hypocrites for being upset at her “vulgarity” and “being offensive” when they have spent the entire Trump campaign and presidency being both of those. You are calling them out for putting up with Trump’s offensive comments and behavior while they are now throwing a fit over Michelle’s comments. They should be called out for letting Trump get away with his actual vulgar comments and behavior while getting upset at Michelle’s non-vulgar comments (her use of the word pussy was clearly a reference to Trump – she wasn’t using it in her own vulgar way).

Michelle Wolf at the WHCD. (Photo by Cheriss May via Getty Images)

Let’s be honest: most liberals are being hypocrites here as well. How many times last year alone did the so-called liberal “social justice warriors” rail against a comedian? How many times did you personally get offended by a comedian after hearing about the “public outrage” in your Facebook feed? How many times was there public backlash against a comedian who made a gay joke? Who made a joke you found racist? Who made a joke about fat people (or skinny people) and liberals hated that body shaming stuff? Who made a joke about transgendered persons? Who made a joke about his girlfriend that liberals found sexist?

Of course Conservatives are upset. They are upset for the exact same reason you get upset when a comedian makes fun of your pet issue: be that LGBQT, obesity, mental illness, sexism, body shaming, etc.

This is what I refer to as the “It’s all funny until they make fun of me or my pet issue Syndrome.” You will sit there and laugh at the fat jokes and the jokes about the special needs kid, but then the comedian made a joke about a gay person! How dare he! That’s my pet issue! Now I’m going to rant and rave and call this comedian out for being a homophobic asshole!

So here’s an idea: stop getting butthurt by comedy. You cannot laugh at all the jokes except the ones that make fun of your personal pet issue. Comedy, by its nature, is offensive. You can sit there and say, “Not all jokes are offensive,” but what you mean is, “Not all jokes are offensive to me.” Just because YOU didn’t get offended doesn’t mean the joke isn’t offensive to someone or some ideology or some mindset. So chill out and let comedians do their thing without getting upset because they made fun of your personal issue.

I can hear it already, “But those jokes are different!” No. They’re not. They are only different in your head because you need them to be different to justify your hurt feelings. Laugh or don’t laugh. Then move the fuck on with your life.

If you’ve ever been upset in the past by a comedian’s joke and are now defending Michelle Wolf against upset Conservatives, then you are just as much a hypocrite as they are.

BWAHAHA 4/25 – 7/17

BWAHAHA (Blair’s Week Attempts at Haha’s) 4/25 – 7/17: Yeah, almost three months in one post. I don’t know why I fell so far behind, except that I was concentrating more on the my storm chasing in the last few months since it was storm “season” here in Alabama. I’ve actually been slacking big time on comedy. I’ve only done a couple of open mics and only one show. Whether or not that changes… we’ll see. Comedy isn’t a full-time adventure for me. I have no desire to leave Huntsville and go on national tours: it’s a hobby. That means I do it when I feel like it, not because I have to. With that said… here’s the last few months of the stuff I did do.

OTHER STUFF:

  • My favorite way to do the tip line.

    My favorite way to do the tip line.

  • I want to open a walk-in clinic in San Francisco and call it Baysick Care.
  • When you don't have a shredder, this is how you get rid of papers you can't throw away.

    When you don’t have a shredder, this is how you get rid of papers you can’t throw away.

  • Just got done watching E.T., which is the story of a young Jedi who gets left behind on Earth.
  • Intentional or unintentional? ‪#‎PlayingWithBalls‬

    Intentional or unintentional? ‪#‎PlayingWithBalls‬

  • Cory brought me back some Blue Flame Moonshine (128 proof). Can’t wait to pass out… I mean try it.
  • The cutest picture you'll ever see me take on the toilet. Diego can sure pick awkward times to get cuddly.

    The cutest picture you’ll ever see me take on the toilet. Diego can sure pick awkward times to get cuddly.

  • Study confirms what smart people and non-gullible people already knew.
  • My favorite Indian food is tacos.
  • I think Michael’s might be confused.
  • Mad Max did not give Furiosa permission to die.
  • Where's a wooden stake when you need one?

    Where’s a wooden stake when you need one?

  • From this point forward I will be referring to female Dr. Who fans as Whoters.
  • Clearly I'm playing too much ‪#‎Destiny

    Clearly I’m playing too much ‪#‎Destiny

  • Everyone says San Andreas is going to suck. However, it’s about earthquakes, so it gets a free suck pass in my book. Will see it tonight!
  • I'm gonna go with misspelled heresy cake. Burn in chocolate hell sinners! City Cafe, Huntsville

    I’m gonna go with misspelled heresy cake. Burn in chocolate hell sinners! City Cafe, Huntsville

  • I think The Mattress Firm needs some good competition, so I’m going to open a store across the street called The Mattress Soft.
  • Spent 20 minutes looking for my phone. Finally called it from Google Hangouts… and it vibrated in my pocket. Gonna be one of those days!
  • I have been asked for my receipt when leaving WalMart twice in two weeks. Did they change their policy to ask white people now?
  • Huntsville's MAGIC (Meteorological Avoidance of Ground Inclement Clouds) Weather Bubble seems to be working just fine today.

    Huntsville’s MAGIC (Meteorological Avoidance of Ground Inclement Clouds) Weather Bubble seems to be working just fine today.

  • If you’re a member of 78 groups and most of them are some form of buy/sell/trade group, I’m going to assume you’re a spammer and block you from my groups. Even if you’re not… sorry. ‪#‎GuiltyOfProfiling‬
  • “Girly Quotes” followed me on Twitter. Probably because I mentioned “wedding” in one of my Tweets. Boy is “Girly Quotes” in for a big surprise!
  • If my electric bill stays this high, I may have to convert to Amish.
  • When your GF’s not home and you can play your video game as loud as you want. Oh yeah…
  • I guess the cat's hungry.

    I guess the cat’s hungry.

  • My favorite Mexican restaurant is slowly replacing it’s male wait staff with females. I’m good with that, because I like Carne Asada Tacos.
  • Listening to crime docs: if you wanna kill someone, don’t get an insurance policy on them and don’t have an affair: dead giveaways of guilt.
  • One of the family members just introduced me to his family by calling me a “famous entertainer.” I’ll take that.
  • I just need to quit being on time. I’m sitting at a large table by myself again waiting for everyone else.
  • When you don’t have to show your ID because the bouncer recognizes you. I may come here too much.
  • Cute girl asks to sit at our table. Introduces herself to the guys. Flirts. 8 minutes later, introduces boyfriend as he walks up. ‪#‎Played
  • I’m always creeped out when someone recognizes me from FOX news, because that means they “really” pay attention to FOX News.
  • Number from Russia calls and hangs up when I answer. Is it a mail order bride, mafia, or Snowden?
  • Why does a Dr’s office that specializes in back injuries have shitty chairs and then makes you wait for two hours in those shitty chairs?
  • Something seems off here. Can't quite put my finger on it. Maybe I need to up my vitamin intake.

    Something seems off here. Can’t quite put my finger on it. Maybe I need to up my vitamin intake.

  • Blackhawk helicopters circling over the house. Maybe using “pressure cooker” & “explosive diarrhea” in same Tweet wasn’t such a good idea.
  • Ready to marry the happy couple. Beautiful day at the Botanical Gardens. I look like a rabbi with the Dr. Who scarf on. Whozel Tov!

    Ready to marry the happy couple. Beautiful day at the Botanical Gardens. I look like a rabbi with the Dr. Who scarf on. Whozel Tov!

  • Kenny Loggins’ Danger Zone could totally be retooled as a Storm Chaser anthem!
  • Tumblr is not working and no one is talking about it! WTF?!?!?!?! Wait… is Tumblr the new MySpace?
  • A bat just ran into my windshield. That had to hurt.
  • Getting ready to go see JAWS in a theater for its 40th anniversary. Woot!

    Getting ready to go see JAWS in a theater for its 40th anniversary. Woot!

  • Good grief! The seats at this theater are actually smaller than airplane economy seats. Um, hello, obesity epidemic! Upgrade your seats!
  • Scientists are talking about a possible sixth mass extinction. I’m cool with that as long as mosquitoes and gnats are included.
  • I think the Democrats should run a black female atheist lesbian Socialist hippie. Just for the giggles of watching conservatives react.
  • If WalMart removes all confederate flag products from shelves, then what will happen to the ‪#‎PeopleOfWalmart‬ web page? Let’s rethink this!!
  • Stores, cities, and states are removing the Confederate Flag. Showing my support by flying the real flag on my house.

    Stores, cities, and states are removing the Confederate Flag. Showing my support by flying the real flag on my house.

  • I will not read the comments on SOCTUS ruling. I will not read the comments on SOCTUS ruling. I will not read the comments on SOCTUS ruling.
  • Future Headline: 6/26/2020 – Five Years Later, Bigoted Preachers ‘Still’ Waiting on Government Letter Forcing Them to Perform Gay Marriage.
  • It can’t be a coincidence that gay marriage passes on the same day as National Beautician’s Day. It’s a conspiracy and I’m onto them!
  • Lightning to the right of me, gusting to the left, here I am, stuck in the middle with duds… stuck in the middle with duds. ‪#‎MotherNatureHatesMe‬
  • The biggest promoters of the confederate flag are often the ones to label people as “unamerican,” and yet they do the most unamerican thing possible: fly a flag that represents treason against the United States of America.
  • If conservatives spent 1/2 the energy on “shall not bear false witness” as they do on “no gay penis,” the GOP and FOX would cease to exist.
  • When one of your Sales reps finds out you were in the Navy as well and the five-minute checkup call on a facility becomes a two-hour Navy style bitch session. Because a bitchin’ sailor is a happy sailor!
  • Those two are so stupid, they’re derpendicular.
  • I think my girlfriend has a ningina, because I never see it coming.
  • They're selling an empty record for that much!

    They’re selling an empty record for that much!

  • Earlier today a wind gust almost knocked me over. My anemometer said 18mph. Clearly my anemometer is broke.
  • Messing with my neighbors. MAC address restrictions on, too! Are the drug dealers across the street sweating it?

    Messing with my neighbors. MAC address restrictions on, too! Are the drug dealers across the street sweating it?

  • Well, I suppose this means I need to throw The Dark Lord a housewarming party! Who’s in?!?!?!?
  • I’m not a fan of hippies, but fake pretentious hippies are the worst. I’m surrounded by them. They should perish from the earth.
  • The lavender smell too strong for you? Poor thing. At least I didn’t complain about your patchouli smelling body odor dripping stench. Jerk!

140 CHARACTER ASSASSINATIONS:

  • Today really sucks for test tube babies. #MothersDay
  • The only reason your mother should be at Chinese Buffet today is if she specifically said she wanted you to bring her. ‪#‎MothersDayFail‬
  • Today is Confederate Memorial Day, coincidentally celebrated by the three most uneducated states in the UNION. ‪#‎WrongSideOfHistoryAgain‬
  • Officer just pulled me over for 60 in a 45. Asked me about the weather and then told me to slow it down. ‪#‎WhitePrivilege‬ ‪#‎ChaserProblems‬
  • How many levels in Dante’s Inferno? Doesn’t matter, they’re all right here around me. Lol ‪#‎HippieHeadquarters‬ ‪#‎SomeoneSaveMe‬
  • I love solving games or puzzles on the last move or last second. It makes me feel like James Bond diffusing a bomb. ‪#‎LivingVicariously‬
  • I bet the Block feature on Facebook got a workout today! #GayMarriage

CAPTION CENTRAL:

  • I'm pretty sure that sign reads "Help Me."

    I’m pretty sure that sign reads “Help Me.”

  • WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!!!!!!

    WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!!!!!!

  • Gun safety? Never heard of it. t's like a mouse, just point an click, right?

    Gun safety? Never heard of it. t’s like a mouse, just point an click, right?

  • They see me rollin.' They hatin.' Patrolling they tryin' to catch me ridin' purty!

    They see me rollin.’ They hatin.’ Patrolling they tryin’ to catch me ridin’ purty!

  • Hey! Who ordered delivery?

    Hey! Who ordered delivery?

  • The little man in the canoe has no idea where the hurricane force winds are coming from.

    The little man in the canoe has no idea where the hurricane force winds are coming from.

BWAHAHA: 7/19 – 7/25

BWAHAHA (Blair’s Week Attempts at Haha’s) 7/19 – 7/25: I wish I could chase storms full time, but chasing doesn’t pay the bills. Well, it could pay the bills after putting tons of effort into it, but that would mean leaving my full time job in order to do it, and thus being a starving storm chaser until I started making a few measly bucks off of it. So what I need is to win the lottery and spend all my money going around chasing storms and enjoying nature. Someone asked me the other day if I was afraid to die in a tornado and I replied, “I’ll die with a giant smile on my face as I meet it face-to-face.”

I got introduced this week to @midnight (Chris Hardwick @Nerdist) thanks to a few local comedians in Huntsville. I played along one night and had fun, so I think I’ll be doing it more often, even if it’s the day afterward because my tired ass went to bed fore @midnight. I got a chance to watch the show Friday online and really enjoyed it. You should definitely check it out!

OTHER STUFF

The #RedstoneArsenal #WeatherDome continues to protect Huntsville! #ConfirmationBias #SillyConspiracies #alwx

20140723a

140 CHARACTER ASSASSINATIONS

“Oh my god Buzz, look at her butt!” – Neil Armstrong #WorseMoonLandingQuotes @midnight

“Hey Neil, look! We’re on the moon… over Miami!” – Buzz Aldrin #WorseMoonLandingQuotes @midnight

“Hey Buzz, put Dark Side of the Moon on your MP3 player!” – Neil Armstrong #WorseMoonLandingQuotes @midnight

“You know they’re gonna say we faked this, right?” – Buzz Aldrin #WorseMoonLandingQuotes @midnight

“Your momma is so fat, I can still see her!” #WorseMoonLandingQuotes @midnight

“They fuck you in the drive-thru!” #WorseMoonLandingQuotes @midnight

“I’m not the man they think I am at home, Oh no no no I’m a rocket man.” #WorseMoonLandingQuotes @midnight

“We could have been saved tons of money if we’d used a cannon like in Le Voyage dans la Lune?” – NASA #WorseMoonLandingQuotes @midnight

“Tower, this is Apollo requesting a flyby.” “Negative, Apollo, the moon is full.” #WorseMoonLandingQuotes @midnight

“Symmetrical moon rock stacking. Just like the Philadelphia mass turbulence of 1947.” #WorseMoonLandingQuotes @midnight

CAPTION CENTRAL

Angus didn’t know mesh shirts were against the law, but he damn sure wasn’t going to jail for it.

20140719a

BWAHAHA: 7/5 – 7/11

BWAHAHA (Blair’s Week Attempts at Haha’s) 7/5 – 7/11: I wrapped up my vacation in Arkansas and came home. It’s always good to be home. I also decided to no longer do standup comedy this week (see below for the link if you missed it), but I’ll still do the BWAHAHA because I’ll always be stupid and silly.

OTHER STUFF

“You’re not going to mass?”
“I don’t go to church.”
“This isn’t for you, it’s for John & Jane.”
“I don’t go to church.”
Vacation ends on a high note

Leaving the Scene

Wearing my JAWS shirt to the Beach Boys concert. Totally appropriate. #BeachBoys

There are more Hawaiian shirts here than were at Pearl Harbor on December 6, 1941. #BeachBoys

John Stamos is on stage with the Beach Boys playing guitar and drums. Showoff. #BeachBoys

140 CHARACTER ASSASSINATIONS

Canoe goes in the water, you go in the canoe… You go in the water, canoe keeps going down the river without you. #Tippecanoe #Ouch

When after a long break from gaming you can’t remember if R1 or R2 fires the weapon and you die. #LoadLastCheckpoint

The action and adventure buff in me really likes The Last Ship, but the ex sailor in me cringes every few minutes they get shit wrong.

CAPTION CENTRAL

Someone's over-compensating.

Someone’s over-compensating.

Where baby trucks come from. Our where libertarians are in charge.

Where baby trucks come from. Our where libertarians are in charge.

All officers, be on the lookout for a hit & run suspect vehicle: a red & white truck with the words Coke on it.

All officers, be on the lookout for a hit & run suspect vehicle: a red & white truck with the words Coke on it.

I'm pretty sure there's no such thing as accidental porn... but I could be wrong.

I’m pretty sure there’s no such thing as accidental porn… but I could be wrong.

If only we had places like this in America, so all the racists were easily identifiable.

If only we had places like this in America, so all the racists were easily identifiable.

The ignorant are unlikely to catch the mistake, but are more likely not to buy it without a "USA Flag."

The ignorant are unlikely to catch the mistake, but are more likely not to buy it without a “USA Flag.”

Go watch a flood wearing your short shorts, because you'll never need survival gear. Nope. Never.

Go watch a flood wearing your short shorts, because you’ll never need survival gear. Nope. Never.

Best friends are willing to show the world their ass so that you don't have to.

Best friends are willing to show the world their ass so that you don’t have to.

WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!!!!!

WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!!!!!

I'm pretty sure there's a back garage for getting car radios installed.

I’m pretty sure there’s a back garage for getting car radios installed.

Rocket Wrangler Stirs It Up In Huntsville

10294310_690993640946800_2486483394369753529_nThe Rocket Wrangler is a satirical web page that makes fun of Huntsville, Alabama and the surrounding areas. The page was created by Huntsville comedian Danielle Kolle and multiple local comedians contribute articles to the satirical page.

On July 9th, the Rocket Wrangler posted an article about a new proposal for a stadium in Big Spring Park (Huntsville City Planner Has Surprise Announcement). The story was shared across Facebook by Huntsvillians creating a lot of controversy as people thought the story was real. Today, WHNT reported on the story (Satirical news website ‘The Rocket Wrangler’ stirs new stadium rumors).

Congratulations to The Rocket Wrangler for capturing the gullible with great satire.

On a side note, the WHNT article mentions one of the articles I wrote (Huntsville Hospital’s Medical Mall Weighs TV Options After FOX News Fight).

You can find The Rocket Wrangler on Facebook and at their Web Page.