BWAHAHA 11/29 – 12/5:

BWAHAHA (Blair’s Week Attempts at Haha’s) 11/29 – 12/5: I had the privilege this week of walking alongside my fellow human beings in the #ShutItDownHSV protest march. I can never understand what it’s like to be black in America because I’m not black. But what I can do is have some fucking empathy. What I can do is make an effort to understand the statistics and data that show racism is not over in America and that the very term “post-racial” is wrong. I can look at the data from the Justice Department and realize that something is very wrong with the system. I can read #CrimingWhileWhite and begin to grasp that as a white male I am treated differently than a black male. I can see with my own damn eyes the security guard in the mall trailing the group of black teenagers while the white kids who are actually shoplifting are left alone. White Privilege is not an insult, so don’t fucking freak out when it’s pointed out to you. Privilege is not the problem: not recognizing your own is and the worst is when you cannot recognize the lack of privilege in others. When some stupid idiot on Facebook says, “Yeah, because my Irish immigrant ancestors had tons of privilege” in their smartass denialism way, I just want to reach through the screen and smack the shit out of them. Yes, your Irish immigrant ancestors were scorned and faced tons of problems. But you know what they weren’t? They weren’t motherfucking black and they weren’t in chains picking cotton on plantations in Mississippi. I’m thinking about writing an entire blog about this issue to help my idiotic fellow white humans grasp this simple concept.

Mark your calendars for a good cause! Help out Huntsville’s homeless and get some good laughs. Donations are needed!

C’mon, help local comedy! As local comedy grows, so do the local comedians and the scene’s ability to bring in visiting comedians. Show your support and pre-buy a t-shirt! Plenty of sizes to choose from (yes, even big guys like myself).

 OTHER STUFF:

• Nooooooooooooooooooo! #TWD #TheWalkingDead Someone pass the Kleenex.
• I’m refusing to watch @AMCTalkingDead because I don’t want to cry. Seeing it once was enough trauma for one night. #TheWalkingDead
• If you didn’t watch tonight’s episode of #TheWalkingDead, you should stay off social media until you do. Seriously.
• While the books were nauseating, they were mildly entertaining, so I figured I’d give the Left Behind movie a chance. I lasted six minutes.
• Every electronic device in my house shows a different time. Even my computers. Stupid technology.

• 

  Just told my GF that I bought us a new comforter. It didn’t go over very well.

• Just busted my ass all week getting a site ready… and just now the site advises they’re still obligated for 90 days with the previous vendor. How does anyone not know this ahead of time? UGH! ACK!
• Watching some of my fellow white humans respond to #ShutItDownHSV is embarrassing. Your white privilege is showing. Just shut up. Please.
• The meatloaf I made last night was pretty spicy. After sitting overnight, it’s almost (almost) too spicy for even me.
• Why is everyone doing the speed limit and I’m at 7 over. Oh yeah, black neighborhood. I’m not afraid of being pulled over. #WhitePrivilege
• I disagree with you, so I said so on your post. Now that you’ve challenged me, I’m going to demand that we “agree to disagree.” #SMH
• I shoplifted as a teenager and the security guard just made me pay for what I stole instead of calling the cops. #CrimingWhileWhite
• Doing 100 MPH on I-95 in Hartford. State Trooper turned his lights on, then waved “thanks” as he passed me. #CrimingWhileWhite
• Why is it so hard for some adults to understand the concept of Civil Disobedience? It’s not a hard concept to understand. It’s simple.
• I’ve deleted the annoying Facebook Messenger App on my phone. Fuck that stupid piece of shit. That means if I’m not at my desk, I won’t respond to PMs. Text me instead or just fucking wait until I get home.

140 CHARACTER ASSASSINATIONS:

• Raise your fist in solidarity with feminism! #FemiFisting
• NYPD should implement Stop, Drop, Roll & Frisk. That way they’re educating people while violating their rights. #ICantBreathe

#HASHTAGWARS @MIDNIGHT:

• The Household Cats #SoftenABand @midnight
• The Constables #SoftenABand @midnight
• 4 Hot Blondes #SoftenABand @midnight
• Oxygen Supply #SoftenABand @midnight
• The Alan Parsons Condominium #SoftenABand @midnight
• Indigenous Ant Farm #SoftenABand @midnight
• The Modern Toys #SoftenABand @midnight
• Audiopaidlabor #SoftenABand @midnight
• The B-52 Vitamins #SoftenABand @midnight
• Black & Yellow Winged Insects, Geeze! #SoftenABand @midnight
• Tiny Country #SoftenABand @midnight
• The Birthday Cuddle Party #SoftenABand @midnight @TBMassacre
• Visionary Melon #SoftenABand @midnight
• Happy October #SoftenABand @midnight
• Quietown Rats #SoftenABand @midnight
• Toddler George #SoftenABand @midnight
• Corey Myocardium #SoftenABand @midnight
• Crash Test Nerds #SoftenABand @midnight
• Spacious House #SoftenABand @midnight
• Still Kickin’ Kennedys #SoftenABand @midnight
• Echo & the Funnymen #SoftenABand @midnight
• Stay In Line Boy #SoftenABand @midnight
• Satiated Lucy #SoftenABand @midnight @hungrylucy
• Iggy Slight Ping #SoftenABand @midnight
• Joan Jett & the Kindhearts #SoftenABand @midnight
• Johnny Adores Jazz #SoftenABand @midnight
• Kate Clean Shaven #SoftenABand @midnight
• Love and Hot Pockets #SoftenABand @midnight
• All Systems Check Parade #SoftenABand @midnight
• Men At Casual Play #SoftenABand @midnight
• Men Wearing Fedoras #SoftenABand @midnight
• New Centrists #SoftenABand @midnight
• Papa Lovebug #SoftenABand @midnight
• Pop Will Lick Itself #SoftenABand @midnight
• Skinemax for Pyros #SoftenABand @midnight
• Advanced Radio Gods #SoftenABand @midnight
• Puddle of Perrier #SoftenABand @midnight
• Elegant Minds #SoftenABand @midnight
• Siouxsie & the Crying Ladies #SoftenABand @midnight
• Sweet’n Low Ray #SoftenABand @midnight
• Life Tendencies #SoftenABand @midnight
• Mumbling Heads #SoftenABand @midnight
• It’s Now Tuesday #SoftenABand @midnight

CAPTION CENTRAL:

Coming to theaters this Spring… CUJO 2: Let’s Play Fetch

You know, that elephant wouldn’t be bothering you if you shot and killed it and made utensils out of its husks.

In a surprising twist, police sprayed protesters with ReddiWip. One protester said, “It’s like bukkake, but better.”

Tensions in North Korea mounted today when the NK Navy threatened to throw rocks at US Navy ships.

Introducing the new iScratch&Sniff from Apple. We didn’t make it for porn, but we know that’s what you’ll use it for.

OMG, The Cute, it hurts so bad!

Ferguson, Police Militarization, and Shame

Protect and Serve. Remember that phrase? I do. I miss it.

I’m a former LEO (Law Enforcement Officer). Granted, it was in the Navy while in Jacksonville, Florida, but that actually emphasizes a point. Even as a LEO in the Navy, I didn’t have access to the tactical equipment that police use now. I didn’t drive an APC or wear tactical gear or respond to a peaceful protest with shotguns, assault rifles, and snipers on rooftops. I responded with my badge to protect and serve my fellow sailors and their families, as well as civilians and retirees who were on the base. The militarization of our police should scare the shit out of everyone, regardless of your political affiliation.

There are good police out there. I know them. I’ve worked with them (in the Navy as a liaison for mass casualties with local law enforcement and as a civilian working in jails). There are also bad police out there. The problem is that the bad police get all the press, so we suffer what is called confirmation bias when it comes to our view of police. All we see are the bad cops on display in viral videos as they engage in police brutality, over-aggressive tactics, and generally treating the civilian population like dog shit. And so we think all police are bad because that’s all we see.

But think about this for a second. Every day the police interact with the general population thousands and thousands of times across the United States. Out of those we see an incident or hear of an incident every now and then. I wish I had the actual numbers to come up with a hard statistic/figure for the number of bad police incidents compared to the overall number of police/civilian interactions that happen without John Doe getting his head bashed in or thrown to the ground because he dared ask the police a question. Just remember to not let confirmation bias cloud your judgment. Call out bad cops, but also recognize there are good cops as well, who genuinely want to serve their communities.

That being said, mob mentality works not just for the mob protesting an injustice or rioting after a team wins the playoffs (or loses), but it also works on police. Police responding to a riot or a peaceful protest with the possibility of becoming a riot, can easily fall into the mob mentality. There’s a lot of psychology going on here, so much so that psychological studies on police have been done to determine why police behave the way they do. Ever hear the phrase “contempt of cop?”

When that mob mentality breaks out with a police force that is militarized, then we create a recipe for disaster. That disaster is playing out in Ferguson, Missouri. It is at times like these when officers with a moral compass must make a stand and speak out. It is times like these when officers in the chain of command must question the orders of their superiors. It is times like these when every officer must be aware of the psychological effect of mob mentality, “contempt of cop,” and other psychological forces that come into play to exacerbate the interaction of police and protesters and “possible rioters.”

“All of this has happened before, and it will all happen again.” – J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan

As a former LEO, as a taxpayer, as a citizen of this country, I am greatly ashamed of the behavior of the police in Ferguson, Missouri. I am greatly ashamed of the leadership in that city and county, who have decided that the best way to respond to a tragedy is to create a new one and attack the citizens of their city and county. I am greatly ashamed that nothing is being done to stop the police brutality being inflicted upon those citizens by either the Governor or the federal government. The constitutional rights of Missouri citizens are being violated and no one in government seems to give a rat’s ass about it.

It is time to end the militarization of our police forces under the idiotic guise of terrorism. Terrorists are not going to strike Ferguson, Missouri, so why does their police force have an APC? Any why the fuck are they wearing camouflage in an urban environment? We can see you guys, because your green camouflage doesn’t hide you against the brick building and the yellow-painted house.

It is also time to make sure all police are educated and trained on how to spot when mob mentality begins affecting them during crowd control situations. It is also time to train police on how not to exacerbate a situation. I was trained to deescalate a situation and to bring calm and peace whenever possible. Is that training no longer provided? Why is it so hard to realize that when you use violence against a non-violent crowd, you are going to piss them off and make them violent? It’s that fucking simple.

One more thing: the media needs to sue the hell out of Ferguson for violating the Freedom of the Press. There is enough damning evidence that the Ferguson PD actively shut down media, arrested them, shot tear gas and rubber bullets directly at media, and dismantled media equipment once the press ran away.

All of you swore an oath to uphold the laws and constitution of the United States (and the State of Missouri) and you are all failing to uphold that oath. Shame on you. Shame on you for making your fellow officers look bad. Shame on you for failing to use your moral judgment and question the illegal and unconstitutional orders handed down to you by your superiors. Shame. Shame. Shame. Shame.