This week on Twitter (5/18 – 5/24): Still playing catch up, so fucking deal with it.
5/21
#PrayForOklahoma, because clearly prayer worked before the storms. Prayer is for lazy fuckers.
Either God hates Oklahoma or he loves Oklahoma’s storm chasers.
5/22
I just heard Carrie Fisher say “motherfucker.” Yep, totally have a huge boner now.
5/23
Anthony “World Trade” Wiener is running for mayor. I call him that because he got knocked down and is trying to erect again.
5/24
Chilly on the mountain tonight. 41 degrees. Glad I brought the KY Warming.