This week on Twitter (5/18 – 5/24)

This week on Twitter (5/18 – 5/24): Still playing catch up, so fucking deal with it.

5/21

#PrayForOklahoma, because clearly prayer worked before the storms. Prayer is for lazy fuckers.

Either God hates Oklahoma or he loves Oklahoma’s storm chasers.

5/22

I just heard Carrie Fisher say “motherfucker.” Yep, totally have a huge boner now.

5/23

Anthony “World Trade” Wiener is running for mayor. I call him that because he got knocked down and is trying to erect again.

5/24

Chilly on the mountain tonight. 41 degrees. Glad I brought the KY Warming.