This week on Twitter (4/19 – 4/26)

This week’s attempt to be funny on Twitter from 4/19 to 4/26 (posted in order of Tweets). I was seriously bored off my ass this week and didn’t do much. I didn’t even get to do my open mics in town like normal. The funny just wasn’t in me for some reason like it normally is. Although, to be fair, that may have something to do with Dragon’s Dogma coming in from Game Fly and me spending 12 hours a day playing it (hehe).


The Defense Directorate of Earth Defense sported gay pride bands before it was trendy. #NerdJokes


One thing people forget about the moral high horse: horses shit and piss everywhere.

Surprised to hear Chrissy Amphlett succumbed to breast cancer. Figured she’d catch it early as much as she touched herself.


The sex was awesome. #teacherschangelives

It’s hard to lose weight while watching Anthony Bourdain and Andrew Zimmern eating street vendor Mexican food.


Today we celebrate the beginning of Idiocracy. #GeorgeBushLibrary


I bet the Tsarnaev brothers shoplifted those pressure cookers. #MamaTsarnaev

Still hunting the WMD’s. No, this time we’re Syrius. #SyriaWMD

I can’t tell who is saner, #MamaTsarnaev or #AlexJones.