“Skyrim belongs to the Nords!” – Trump’s America

“I can’t believe we let Provincials like you wander around Skyrim.” – Trump Supporters

I’ve been playing Skyrim again lately. This time on the PS4. As I’ve been playing through again, it has struck me how many social issues are addressed in the game and how there are quite a few similarities between Skyrim and where the United States is right now.

The Empire is the United States government, full of rules, laws, regulations, accords, and treaties that not everyone agrees with. It has its flaws and it can’t please everyone all the time. Sometimes the rules, even if they came from a well-intended idea, just don’t work well, or violate the rights of citizens (can you say Patriot Act?).

The Stormcloaks are Trump supporters. They have some valid grievances. They make a few decent points about how the Empire has left them behind, how the smaller cities face economic challenges that larger cities like Solitude don’t face: where “elites” have forgotten the farmers and miners, who have been hit the hardest by bad economic times.

While the inability to practice one’s Talos worship freely has been actually banned by the Empire thanks to the White-Gold Concordant (the Skyrim equivalent of the boogeyman UN for the New World Order conspiracy theorists), many Trump supporters feel like their religious beliefs are under attack by “liberal elites.” Of course here in America, that’s simply not true.

People think that the fact they cannot force their religious beliefs on others or use their religion to discriminate in the business world, that somehow their religious beliefs are under attack. The fact that you can’t force others to adhere to your beliefs, especially through law, doesn’t mean your religion is illegal or under attack: it means your religion is YOURS. YOU have a constitutional right to believe what you want, not make others adhere to your beliefs.

Opposed to abortion for religious reasons, then don’t get an abortion. Opposed to birth control for religious reasons, then don’t use birth control. Opposed to homosexuality because of religious reasons, then don’t put your lips around a penis. Your religious opposition is yours and yours alone, that’s your constitutional rights, but others have a constitutional right as well to not agree with your religious beliefs and to live their lives to their own accord. But I digress…

The valid concerns and points that the Stormcloaks have are diminished because of the other elements behind and intermingled within their movement.

First and foremost is the willingness to use violence to overthrow the tyranny of government. Never mind the fact that the government is not tyrannical (although now that Trump’s in office it might actually go that way – the irony of creating a tyranny while thinking you were getting rid of one). How many of your Trump supporting friends and family were ranting about overthrowing the government if “Killary” won? How many of them were buying more guns and ammo waiting for the revolution to start? How many are looking forward to the day they can exercise their Second Amendment rights to overthrow the government (without concern for the innocent lives that would be lost in such a battle), regardless of the fact that they clearly have no idea what “tyrannical” actually means.

The second is the underlying racism. When the Empire says “true sons and daughters” they mean anyone who lives in the Empire and supports it, regardless of their species or race or ethnicity. When the Stormcloaks say “true sons and daughters” they mean Nords: white people. They hate Provincials and outsiders. Do all Stormcloak supporters hate outsiders? Do all Stormcloaks despise every Argonian, Kajit, or Elf they meet? Of course not. However, they’re openly supporting a cause led by Ulfric, a man who does nothing to assist anyone who is not Nord. Ulfirc, who willingly allows Dark Elves to be treated badly and live in The Grey Quarter, a special part of his city (aka forced segregation). The Grey Quarter is pretty much synonymous with ghetto. This racism can even be heard by the guards. Empire guards will say, “Stay out of trouble Argonian,” while Stormcloak guards say, “Stay out of trouble lizard.” Empire guards refer to Kajit correctly and Stormcloak guards refer to Kajit as cats.

I feel for the Stormcloaks. I really do. They have some legitimate gripes and grievances. However, I cannot support their cause because of the blatant racism and racist undertones. I cannot support their cause because of their inability to understand the consequences of their actions and how it will affect their fellow countrymen and women. They want to burn the system down and replace it with what? In our modern real-life comparison, they elected someone who promised to “drain the swamp” and then immediately filled his surrounding space with insiders and lobbyists and his fellow billionaires. He made it swampier. He then selected white nationalists, concreting what those of us not in denial already knew: he is a racist.

Now the Stormcloaks are in charge in America. The racist element is running around engaging in hate crimes across the country: going after the easy to identify targets first: Argonian, Kajit, Dark Elf, etc. How long before they start going after the Provincials, who aren’t as easily identified by their skin color (or scales)?

Group Sex

The following was submitted upon request to The Celestial Teapot Magazine. They did some minor editing for the piece for brevity and space allocation. Here is the original as it was submitted:

Group Sex

Group sex is defined as sex with three or more people. That’s the technical definition, but for me personally, I’ve always separated threesomes, foursomes, and considered five or more to be group sex. And I separate them in my head because the dynamics between two partners and eight partners is drastic.

When you hear the words “group sex,” what pops into your mind? Are you disgusted? Intrigued? The concept of group sex is one of those that gives people an either/or reaction. Either they want to try it or the idea gives them the creeps. Not to mention it reminds conservatives of socialism! ICK!

Anecdotally, over the years I’ve asked my fellow men what they think about group sex and I was surprised to hear that it was homophobia that kept most men from trying it. They were freaked out that they might touch another man’s butt or worse, that a penis may touch them. ACK!

The chances that you will rub up against or be rubbed by another man’s butt are pretty high during group sex. But trust me when I say that during the heat of it, you won’t know the difference and won’t care one bit! You just need to get over your homophobia and understand that his butt is not touching you because he’s turned on by his butt touching you: it’s touching you as he’s trying to maneuver into position for some vagina action.

The most important thing about group sex (that you don’t see in porn) is communication between fellow participants. It’s important that everyone know which members are bisexual and bi-curious. It’s important to know who doesn’t like kissing or biting or tickling, etc. It’s important to know who has a preference for where you ejaculate or if we should put towels down because someone’s a gusher (do you know how long it takes to air dry a mattress!!!!). It’s also important to know who is on birth control, “vas safe,” etc. These things are important and help build trust among the participants.

Group sex comes in many flavors and styles and may not really match that fantasy image you have in your head. Some group sex is nothing more than partner swapping on the same bed. Some group sex is a mass of intertwined limbs: writhing and wiggling like the head of Cthulhu (or Davy Jones’ head from Pirates of the Caribbean if everyone’s sweaty and lubed up). And of course group sex doesn’t have to be hetero: all male group sex or all female group sex happens. And group sex for every type of sexuality happens. No matter the sexuality involved: group sex should always have one thing in common: CONSENT!

Over the years I have had some great group sex. I have had awkward group sex. I have had group sex that I felt I needed a bleach bath afterward. I really don’t recommend that: I mean the nasty group sex, not the bleach bath.

The majority of my group sex occurred when my ex-wife and I were swingers. Swinging added a whole new layer of dynamics and rules to deal with, but that’s a story for another time. In most cases, the group sex would start with everyone on the same bed and arms and legs everywhere, but within ten minutes, the group had separated into pairs: with one man and women concentrating on each other. I was always intrigued by that aspect of human sexuality: essentially turning group sex into mating pairs. Of course every now and then a hand would reach over and grope a body part of the couple next to them. Was that the groper remembering that this was supposed to be group sex or was it a reassurance to the other person; the groper letting the groped know they existed on the same bed?

I was never satisfied with the unconscious pairing that took place. I wanted to pay attention to all the women who were participating. I wanted to taste each of their vaginas. I wanted to give each of them pleasure. Group sex that worked that way was rare and in some cases, I had to be like a conductor. It always struck me as funny how willing people were to take direction during group sex. I was the conductor leading a symphony composed only of skin flutes and vagiolins. Sometimes that would mean I would be left out while conducting, only able to play my instrument every once in a while, but that was okay because I was helping others have pleasure.

One thing to remember during group sex is to not let the group dictate to the individual. Don’t pressure anyone into doing something they are not comfortable with. The swinging community had rules to protect the individual: no drinking or drugs allows (because it lowers inhibitions and we want an honest yes, not a drug-induced yes), no pressuring anyone, no means no with no questions asked or no offense taken. If everyone is conscious of this, then enforcement is easy and no one will be taken advantage of, harmed, or have something done to them without consent. Group sex should be fun, so don’t turn it into something harmful or vile.

Another thing to consider is the male to female ration involved. While ten men and two women having sex together is technically group sex, it’s really a gang-bang. Most people don’t envision a gang-bang when they think of group sex. To be honest, most men envision one man and ten women, but most men are delusional about their sexual prowess.

One thing that you need to do is put a reality check on the fantasy image you have in your head about group sex. The chances of you having group sex with a bunch of hot college coeds is about the same as getting hit by lighting three times in a single day. Sure it happens… but it isn’t going to happen to you!

Group sex will involve all body types and shapes. It may even involve drastic age differences. I was involved in a group sex session where the youngest person was 22 (my ex-wife) and the oldest person was 67. There were men and women in their thirties, forties, and fifties involved in that skin pile. So if you are a shallow person, then stick to the shallow water. But if you realize that all body shapes and sizes can be sexy and that sex is fun regardless of shape or size (or age of the adult), then dive on into the deep end and leave your floaties at home!