BWAHAHA 12/20 – 12/26:

BWAHAHA (Blair’s Week Attempts at Haha’s) 12/20 – 12/26: My GF stumbled upon one of the best written articles I’ve ever seen written about white privilege for white people – by a white person. Remember, privilege isn’t an insult or a bad word. What’s important is that you recognize that you have it and more importantly, that others do not have it (be that white, male, class, etc). Read the article HERE.

So this week was Christmas. I’m one of those atheists who celebrates Christmas. Why? Because no one goes to the mall to sit on Jesus’ lap, that’s why. So what’d you get for Christmas? My friends and my GF got me a lot of stuff I’ll need for the Zombiepocalypse (or camping) and plenty of vaping stuff. I got a tactical vest, tactical leg pouch, 9-in-1 shovel (it comes with a fucking bayonet!), 35-LED light stick, three 10-LED head lamps, camp stove, Aspire Atlantis tank (and five replacement coils), a gift certificate to Professor Vapes (located in Madison, AL), a full body massage at the Chinese Massage place in Huntsville, and a new cutlery set for my kitchen. I did pretty damn good this Christmas!

My friends and I watched The Interview this week (no spoilers, I promise). There were some pretty good laughs throughout the movie. If you are one of my fellow liberals who was worried about a movie showing an assassination of a sitting leader, you should actually watch the movie. It’s not what you expect. I won’t spoil it, just watch it and stop jumping to the wrong conclusions. The Interview has tons of in-your-face and hidden social commentary about diplomacy, foreign policy, media, etc. The Interview is social commentary wrapped in comedy and slapstick. Don’t let the terrorists win! Watch The Interview!

I did get to do a little bit of storm chasing this week, but Alabama proved to be frustrating as always when it comes to chasing storms. At least I got to test out the new AcuRite. It’s designed to mount in your backyard, but I mounted it on the roof of my car. Worked like a champ! Thanks AcuRite!

OTHER STUFF:

  • Out and about and I left my wallet at home. Guess I’m not eating or accomplishing anything. #EarlyAlzheimers
  • Thanks to Old Time Pottery, I have more glitter on me than Tinker Bell.
  • Some Christmas music I actually like!
  • Chasing in Alabama is frustrating. If the cell doesn’t dissipate, trees block the view or farmer John holds up traffic.
  • Something to do on the next camping trip… and by trip… I mean acid trip.
  • Normally we go eat Chinese buffet on Christmas Day with friends. But we found out that Indian Palace is open today! Yep, that trumps Chinese!
  • Who ordered the rain donut?

    Who ordered the rain donut?

140 CHARACTER ASSASSINATIONS:

  • Tripster: a hipster in training.
  • Mutant: someone who participates in a mutiny.
  • Kumquats are amazing. It’s like a pear and a tangerine had sex.
  • At Joe Cocker’s funeral, you can leave your hat on. #RIPJoeCocker
  • Thanks to smart phones, awkward silences aren’t that awkward anymore.

CAPTION CENTRAL:

  • I can't tell... is she keeping his hand warm or is he keeping her butt warm? Or is it more a symbiotic relationship?

    I can’t tell… is she keeping his hand warm or is he keeping her butt warm? Or is it more a symbiotic relationship?

  • Do you even hack, bro?!?!

    Do you even hack, bro?!?!

  • Stand back! I'm about to try a physics experiment!

    Stand back! I’m about to try a physics experiment!

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BWAHAHA: 6/14 – 6/20

BWAHAHA (Blair’s Week Attempts at Haha’s) 6/14 – 6/20: I spent another week in Jackson, MS. I thought drivers in other places were shitty drivers, but Jackson, MS drivers take the cake! And it’s not aggressiveness or normal stupidity, but it’s this laissez-faire attitude toward driving: doing 5-10 under the speed limit. I don’t get mad at people for doing the speed limit because I only do 5-7 above it normally. But for the love of whatever gods you don’t actually believe in, do the motherfucking speed limit! The minimum speed of 40 on the Interstate is actually too slow and dangerous. When you’re going that slow you’re creating a traffic hazard that forces people into the other lanes and that increases the chances of accidents. Oh, and if the person in front of you is doing 69 and you’re doing 70, you don’t fucking pass them for the next three miles doing 70 while traffic builds up behind you! You fucking go 75 and get in front of them and then go back to doing 70. Why is driving such a hard fucking concept for people? And it makes it worse because of my ATHEIST license plate, because I get boxed in by people trying to take pictures, see what an atheist looks like, or flip me off. I’ve seen so many people almost get into wrecks trying to get pictures of my license plate. Really people… it’s just a fucking license plate. Speaking of my plate, in September I’m changing it to VORTEX. I’m excited!

On a serious note: as many of you may already know, tornadoes destroyed a couple of towns in Nebraska this past week. The tornadoes that appeared were very unique and will be studied by scientists for a very long time. You can help those hit by this weather tragedy by donating to the American Red Cross.

140 CHARACTER ASSASSINATIONS

Cereal Killer Crunch: you’ll need a sharp knife to eat it #RuinaBreakfast #HSVComedy

Postal Pops: Go Postal Every Morning #RuinaBreakfast #HSVComedy

Rusty Wagon Wheels, with chocolate goo centers! #RuinaBreakfast #HSVComedy

Green Eggs & Ham is code for gonorrhea vaginal discharge. #RuinaBreakfast #HSVComedy

Humans: the Other White Meat #RuinaBreakfast #HSVComedy

I’ll have the Porky Pig Bacon and the Donald Duck Pâté. #RuinaBreakfast #HSVComedy

The restaurant has blue waffles on their menu. I don’t think that means what they think it means. #RuinaBreakfast #HSVComedy

Watching Game of Thrones in the morning. #RuinaBreakfast #HSVComedy

The one thing I thought third world countries had going for them was soccer. I guess not.

Smell of cologne gave away perps hiding place. Don’t wear cologne when committing crime. #COPS #LessonsLearned

Would I have spilled food on my shirt if I had not been trying to not spill food on my shirt? #LifePonderings

This was the most horridly awesome stupid disgusting funny crazy asininity I’ve ever seen. You should watch it.

Tons of cops in the hotel. Close the door very… very… very slowly and watch Netflix instead of going out to eat.

Parking Lot nudges a Skateboard, which spooks a 4-Wheeler, who swerves into the woods, where conveniently a bear is hiding. #TravelFun

The A/C in my car is broke. While hanging my head out the car window to cool down I couldn’t decide if I looked like a dog or Miley Cyrus.

CAPTION CENTRAL

I finally found a burkini I can support!

20140619a

“I’m adopted, right?”

20140619b

Introducing the new Vagilaser: because your Second Amendment Rights extend to every part of your body.

20140619c

Introducing the new economy class at rentboy.com.

20140619d

Never run out of toilet paper again!

20140620a

BWAHAHA: 1/11 – 1/17

BWAHAHA (Blair’s Week Attempts at Haha’s) 1/11 – 1/17: So this week a kind and loving Christian decided to key my car. Now, while I can’t prove it 100% that it was a Christian, I can with practical certainty say it wasn’t a Buddhist, Hindu, Wiccan, or Atheist. There were three cars in my driveway and mine was the only car targeted and they tried to X out my license plate, which says ATHE1ST. Now, maybe I’m just wrongheaded here, but is vandalizing my car really the way to bring me to god? I mean, if you want me to believe in your god, then vandalizing my car is the way to do it, right? No, wait, that actually reinforces my view that believers are delusional. I mean, if your god is so all powerful, then why does he need you to key my car when he can just strike me dead at any time he wants? Then again… kinda hard to kill me when he doesn’t exist.

1/11

I think we should deregulate Coal some more. I mean, deregulation clearly worked in West Virginia!

1/12

Love Is Like Snow

I made an illegal lane change and ran a red light right in front of a police officer. He did nothing. Decided against the illegal U-Turn.

1/13

My thermostat says it’s 73 in the house. I think it’s lying.

Desperation leads to strange things…

20140113a

Possible causes: 1) projectile vomiting, 2) exploding soda, 3) murder, or 4) Gallagher performance. Or perhaps, Gallagher, while performing in the car, caused a soda can to explode, which hit a passenger in the face, killing him, and the other passengers were then so grossed out they projectile vomited everywhere. The driver then murdered Gallagher.

20140113b

My spicy Thai peanut sauce has been sitting in ghost peppers for 96 hours now. HOLY FUCK!!! Call the Fire Department!

North Korea announced its new drone program today.

20140113c

Yeah, but are you gettin’ it? Llamageddon it! Ooh, really gettin’ it? Yes, Lamaggedon it!

20140113d

Critical Eye Podcast: E041, Baby, It’s Cold Outside

Interesting License Plate

He'llGetShotI pulled forward into the designated parking space to wait for my drive-thru food at McDonald’s. A few minutes later a young lady came out with my food in hand and walked toward my car. As I watched her in the mirror I could see her look at my license plate and make a face. I giggled, as I always do.

As she handed me my food through the window she said, “Interesting license plate.”

I replied, “Thanks!”

“So do you have it just rile people up?” she asked.

“No, did it rile you up?” I asked her.

“A little bit,” she replied.

“Oh, well there are only two reasons for it to rile you up, either you have weak faith or you’re a bigot. Which one describes you?”

She made a face and walked away. I’m going with bigot. I wonder if she works on Sundays at McDonald’s.

Seeking Advice from Fellow Atheists & Activists

I have been an atheist activist for twenty-three years. Wow… has it really been that long? Whew!

I started my activism in the twelfth grade in high school in 1989 attempting to start an atheist club in Moreno Valley, CA. My attempt failed and I did not know about any groups or resources to go to for help. After I joined the Navy I continued activism: going after evening prayers over the 1MC (ship’s PA system), stopping the Chaplain from presiding over my reenlistment and award ceremonies, making sure non-Christians religious sailors were taken care of by the ship’s Chaplain (you know, actually doing his damn job), etc.

When I got out of the Navy I started a local group (Mobile Area Freethought Association) and the Freethinkers Letter-Writing Cooperative (FLWC), Alabama Citizens for Education in Science (ACES), wrote for the Secular South E-Zine and coordinated the first atheist protest in the state of Alabama (against Judge Roy Moore). I would later go on to form the North Alabama Freethought Association and help form thirteen other groups across the Southeast and start The Critical Eye Podcast with my friend and fellow comedian Tom Hand.

In 2000, I found American Atheists. Holy national support, Batman! I became the Alabama State Director and then the National Affiliate Director and then the Communications Director and finally the Director of Outreach. During that time I was a staff writer for American Atheist Magazine and ran the NoGodBlog for a while as well. I ran their Facebook page and Twitter account and YouTube account, etc. I was named Atheist of the Year twice and received the Meritorious Service Award for my activism while working for American Atheists. I have greatly enjoyed my time with American Atheists and being a part of the advance forces in the trenches in the battle for our Constitutional rights and the Separation of Church and State.

I got to be part of the movement as it grew exponentially and started its peak in 2007 and continues to peak. I got to experience the amazing feeling of knowing that the groundwork we and those before us lay down was now finally being used to push the movement forward and that things were on the upswing and we were beginning to finally take some ground in that same battle. To be a part of the movement as we struggle to find space on the calendar for events that do not coincide with other events being held nationally (what a beautiful problem to have!)

But lately I have lost that feeling. I have found myself dreading each day on Facebook, the blogs, etc. Each day having to defend myself and American Atheists not against the hordes of Christians: but against our fellow atheists. Our fellow atheists who find a single word, or the font used on a billboard, or the color of a web page, or a single sentence in a two-thousand word essay worth creating an eruption of vitriol against fellow atheists on blogs and in comments.

I found myself dreading having to deal with the nit-picking of appearances on a news channel from atheists who had never been in front of a camera, criticism of a billboard from atheists who had never erected a billboard and were basically demanding that we put an entire thesis on a billboard, thus eradicating the entire point of a billboard. I dreaded dealing with atheists who reveled in taking on their fellow atheists instead of our common enemy: theists and theocrats. I dreaded the emails, the comments, and the constant in-fighting that is holding our movement back.

I would give an hour-long speech and the audience would agree with 99% of what I said, but because I said one word or one sentence that someone disagreed with, the blogosphere would erupt in idiotic drama. Over what? Where was the eruption of support for the 99% of what we agreed upon? I take exception to things people say on a daily basis, but I don’t make an issue of it. I can think of dozens of my fellow activists who have said stuff that drives me bonkers, but I’m willing to bet that my Facebook friends couldn’t name two or three of them. Why? Because I don’t talk about it or make an issue of it because while they say something that drives me bonkers, we agree on enough that it’s a non-issue to me.

No matter the trivial stuff we disagree on, there are always at a minimum three core things we all agree on: separation of church and state, civil rights for non-theists, and true freedom of religion (meaning freedom from religion as well).

Ultimately I became an asshole and just lashed out at my fellow atheists who engaged in that type of behavior. I realized that a few months ago that I no longer could rationally discuss these issues with those detractors because all I wanted to do was smash their smug fuc… (deep breath.) I realized that I had lost my patience. I had more patience with theists at this point than I did with my fellow atheists who felt the need to attack and belittle everything that was being said or done in such a pedantic and nit-picky fashion that it was almost laughable. Throw into that mix my fellow atheists who are not skeptics and believe all sorts of hokey nonsense, and it was a matter of time before I imploded.

The tone debate is a complete waste of time. Every methodology and approach is needed for the movement to reach every possible demographic. The anti-firebrands are failing to recognize the history of the success and necessity of firebrands in every past movement before us: gay rights, civil rights, women’s suffrage, abolition, etc. Stop beating each other up and arguing over method. What really matters is our destination. We’re all on the same highway; we’re just driving different cars, so why are we trying to drive each other off the damn road? Everyone should keep doing the method of activism that they are good at: firebrand, accommodation (I know, you hate that word), anti-theists, militant atheists (yeah, I hate that one, too), etc. All of you play a key role in the forward ability of this movement. How many blog entries are actually activism related versus blog entries attacking fellow atheists over pedantics, semantics, and tactics?

I have no more patience for it. I have become what I detest the most because now I find myself attacking my fellow atheists. It repulses me that I have become this.

I am seriously considering resigning from everything that I do and leaving the movement. No more blogging, no more Facebook, no more videos, no more writing, no more activism, no more conventions, and no more working for American Atheists. I talked to David Silverman (President of American Atheists) today (11/26) about this (we’ve had talks in the past about this) and told him he would have my final answer by Friday (11/30). David told me that I was getting sucked into the things that I hated instead of staying involved in the things I loved. Fair and valid point: but how does one stay above the fray when everything we do causes the fray to come to us?

And so now I’m reaching out to my Facebook friends, fellow bloggers, fellow podcasters, fellow video bloggers, and fellow activists for advice. What would you have me do?