BWAHAHA 10/25 – 10/31:

BWAHAHA (Blair’s Week Attempts at Haha’s) 10/25 – 10/31: So this week, even though I’m behind a week (yes, I’ll catch up this weekend), I’ve decided to take a different approach with the #HashtagWars done by @midnight. First, I’m giving them their own section, separate from my other Tweets, posts, etc. Second, I’m only including ones that are 100% original. I do a search for my joke and if anyone else did it – it doesn’t make it on this page: even if I did it first. There are some low hanging fruit and obvious jokes with each #HashtagWars and we come up with the same stuff. It happens. But there are a few where I know someone copied mine and used it as their own, because I used an odd Syntax or put in a special character where it didn’t need to be. You know who you are and did you not know that Twitter has a search function that shows not only that you stole my joke but time stamps that shit as well? Douchebag.

OTHER STUFF:

New tag arrived today!

New tag arrived today!

Need to plunder something. Yes, bartender, I'll take a Me & Coke, please.

Need to plunder something. Yes, bartender, I’ll take a Me & Coke, please.

Enjoying some Captain and vape! #ForeverVaping

Enjoying some Captain and vape! #ForeverVaping

Best Buy just aired a Christmas commercial. In October. I am now no longer shopping at Best Buy.

On the road back to Pittsburgh. 12 hours of other drivers pissing me off.

Even when I'm on the road, the storms fizzle out before getting to me. Mother Nature hates me.

Even when I’m on the road, the storms fizzle out before getting to me. Mother Nature hates me.

After numerous searches on the Internet, I have concluded that I have Ebola. The Internet is never wrong.

So when does Earth to Echo 2: Payback come out where Echo, with all his alien friends, takes revenge for the government shooting him down?

140 CHARACTER ASSASSINATION:

Who wants some roast? TAINTED MEAT!!! #TheWalkingDead

We had Swiss steak for dinner tonight. #TAINTEDMEAT #TheWalkingDead

Eating Bob gives #TheWalkingDead chocolate pudding a whole new meaning.

I have only a few Zombiepocalypse rules. No kids is one of them. Judith proves my point. #TheWalkingDead

All praise the red-handled machete! #TWD #TheWalkingDead

Uh-oh, did Daryl bring back some #TAINTEDMEAT to the church? #TheWalkingDead

#HashtagWars WITH @Midnight:

Lawrence of Catabia #CatMovies @midnight

The Abyssinian #CatMovies @midnight

Breakfast at Chantilly-Tiffany #CatMovies @midnight

The Godpawder #CatMovies @midnight

12 Angry Mice #CatMovies @midnight

The Usual Suspets #CatMovies @midnight

12 Years a Pet #CatMovies @midnight

The Himalayan Blues Brothers #CatMovies @midnight

When Hairy Met Alley #CatMovies @midnight

Hairballspray #CatMovies @midnight

Sarah Palin makes Vivid deal #ScaryStoriesIn5Words @midnight

Michael Vick opens animal shelter #ScaryStoriesIn5Words @midnight

Every Wives Tale is TRUE #ScaryStoriesIn5Words @midnight

Rapture happened: you missed it #ScaryStoriesIn5Words @midnight

Rick & Daryl: gay love scene #ScaryStoriesIn5Words @midnight #TWD

Zombies only eat Playboy Bunnies #ScaryStoriesIn5Words @midnight

Cloverfield monster… was a baby #ScaryStoriesIn5Words @midnight

Knock Knock. Who’s there? Jason. #ScaryStoriesIn5Words @midnight

Olympics being held in Liberia #ScaryStoriesIn5Words @midnight

Condom broke… with a prostitute #ScaryStoriesIn5Words @midnight

Technically, we’re all TAINTED MEAT! #ScaryStoriesIn5Words @midnight #TheWalkingDead

EMP burst kills the Internet #ScaryStoriesIn5Words @midnight

They’re just friction burns. Honest! #ScaryStoriesIn5Words @midnight

Adam & Steve, not Adam & Eve! #ScaryStoriesIn5Words @midnight

What’s in the box? Microsoft-10 #ScaryStoriesIn5Words @midnight

Satan’s number is actually 404 #ScaryStoriesIn5Words @midnight

Come again… How fast, officer? #ScaryStoriesIn5Words @midnight

Yosemite seismic activity rapidly increasing #ScaryStoriesIn5Words @midnight #NotReallyFunny

You don’t take credit cards? #ScaryStoriesIn5Words @midnight

CAPTION CENTRAL:

This would make more sense if the car were a Tiburon.

This would make more sense if the car were a Tiburon.

IHOP on Pop... IHOP on Car.

IHOP on Pop… IHOP on Car.

Cool story about a penis, but the real news: The James Bond Submersible Lotus is in a museum in Miami!!!!!!

Cool story about a penis, but the real news: The James Bond Submersible Lotus is in a museum in Miami!!!!!!

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