BWAHAHA: 7/19 – 7/25

BWAHAHA (Blair’s Week Attempts at Haha’s) 7/19 – 7/25: I wish I could chase storms full time, but chasing doesn’t pay the bills. Well, it could pay the bills after putting tons of effort into it, but that would mean leaving my full time job in order to do it, and thus being a starving storm chaser until I started making a few measly bucks off of it. So what I need is to win the lottery and spend all my money going around chasing storms and enjoying nature. Someone asked me the other day if I was afraid to die in a tornado and I replied, “I’ll die with a giant smile on my face as I meet it face-to-face.”

I got introduced this week to @midnight (Chris Hardwick @Nerdist) thanks to a few local comedians in Huntsville. I played along one night and had fun, so I think I’ll be doing it more often, even if it’s the day afterward because my tired ass went to bed fore @midnight. I got a chance to watch the show Friday online and really enjoyed it. You should definitely check it out!

OTHER STUFF

The #RedstoneArsenal #WeatherDome continues to protect Huntsville! #ConfirmationBias #SillyConspiracies #alwx

140 CHARACTER ASSASSINATIONS

“Oh my god Buzz, look at her butt!” – Neil Armstrong #WorseMoonLandingQuotes @midnight

“Hey Neil, look! We’re on the moon… over Miami!” – Buzz Aldrin #WorseMoonLandingQuotes @midnight

“Hey Buzz, put Dark Side of the Moon on your MP3 player!” – Neil Armstrong #WorseMoonLandingQuotes @midnight

“You know they’re gonna say we faked this, right?” – Buzz Aldrin #WorseMoonLandingQuotes @midnight

“Your momma is so fat, I can still see her!” #WorseMoonLandingQuotes @midnight

“They fuck you in the drive-thru!” #WorseMoonLandingQuotes @midnight

“I’m not the man they think I am at home, Oh no no no I’m a rocket man.” #WorseMoonLandingQuotes @midnight

“We could have been saved tons of money if we’d used a cannon like in Le Voyage dans la Lune?” – NASA #WorseMoonLandingQuotes @midnight

“Tower, this is Apollo requesting a flyby.” “Negative, Apollo, the moon is full.” #WorseMoonLandingQuotes @midnight

“Symmetrical moon rock stacking. Just like the Philadelphia mass turbulence of 1947.” #WorseMoonLandingQuotes @midnight

CAPTION CENTRAL

Angus didn’t know mesh shirts were against the law, but he damn sure wasn’t going to jail for it.

BWAHAHA: 7/12 – 7/18

BWAHAHA (Blair’s Week Attempts at Haha’s) 7/12 – 7/18: All week the great storms went north and south of me. Everything that was coming my way that looked promising, petered or fizzled out. And then when it did rain… it was a boring, drippy, drizzling, fuck the sun kinda rain for 48 hours. Fuck you Mother Nature! But hey, I had two days of “fall weather” or “spring weather,” depending on one’s personal preference, so I figured why not get some yard work done! But that damn green hose was hiding in the tall green grass (tall because it’s been fucking raining for days) and gets sucked into the blades of my John Deere. And there ends my yard work. The John Deere is still sitting where it stalled and got the hose stuck in it. Why is it still sitting there? Because it’s FUCKING RAINING again! For two days fucking straight! Seriously, fuck you Mother Nature.

OTHER

Years of Tetris prepared me for packing boxes and moving trucks, but it didn’t prepare me for Alabama heat! #alwx #MissingPolarVortex

I forgot to post the pic of the “supermoon!” What was I thinking?

I’m convinced at this point that Mother Nature’s fucking with me.

I find myself torn between Weird Al’s take and Stephen Fry’s take. #FirstWorldProblems

A great way to ID trouble spots, the third world, and places no one wants to go.

140 CHARACTER ASSASSINATIONS

Mud Truck with Confederate flag in window & secret KKK symbol on bumper. Roll alongside and they’re head bopping to NWA. #DoingRacismWrong

The last time in history that this many people across the globe were talking about Germany, they were rooting against them.

Road Kill collector. #BadSummerJobs

Pool boy at a porn set. #BadSummerJobs

Gutter cleaner after a hurricane. #BadSummerJobs

Holding lightning attraction devices for research scientists in Florida. #BadSummerJobs

Riding shotgun to Reed Timmer documenting how many times he gets excited. #BadSummerJobs

The Public Relations person dealing with real life storm chasers criticizing the science after #IntoTheStorm hits theaters. #BadSummerJobs

Why do they call it “Conspiracy Thinking” when there’s no thinking involved?

Another Malaysian flight, Israel invades Gaza, ISIS being stupid in Syria & Iraq, Beiber DUI: #AlexJones must be going apeshit about now.

CAPTION CENTRAL

Found my new storm chasing pants!

WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How many times do I need to tell you? Always be aware of your surroundings!

And so the rise of the apes starts…

Hurricane, tornado, or Godzilla?

Impervious to workplace flatulence.

30 years ago, Tina was left standing at the altar. She’s never fully recovered from that experience.

Camels make it through the eye of the needle and the rich get into Heaven. We’ll just ignore Matthew 19:24.

Jackson, MS Lightning (6/9/2014) #mswx

 

For some reason, I cannot get the video from my phone to load into any of my editors or viewers. I just get a black screen. But VLC can view it and screen cap, but won’t convert it. I’m still befuddled. So I took frame by frame screen caps and created a gif instead.

 

 

Selected stills from the GIF:

BWAHAHA: 7/5 – 7/11

BWAHAHA (Blair’s Week Attempts at Haha’s) 7/5 – 7/11: I wrapped up my vacation in Arkansas and came home. It’s always good to be home. I also decided to no longer do standup comedy this week (see below for the link if you missed it), but I’ll still do the BWAHAHA because I’ll always be stupid and silly.

OTHER STUFF

“You’re not going to mass?”
“I don’t go to church.”
“This isn’t for you, it’s for John & Jane.”
“I don’t go to church.”
Vacation ends on a high note

Leaving the Scene

Wearing my JAWS shirt to the Beach Boys concert. Totally appropriate. #BeachBoys

There are more Hawaiian shirts here than were at Pearl Harbor on December 6, 1941. #BeachBoys

John Stamos is on stage with the Beach Boys playing guitar and drums. Showoff. #BeachBoys

140 CHARACTER ASSASSINATIONS

Canoe goes in the water, you go in the canoe… You go in the water, canoe keeps going down the river without you. #Tippecanoe #Ouch

When after a long break from gaming you can’t remember if R1 or R2 fires the weapon and you die. #LoadLastCheckpoint

The action and adventure buff in me really likes The Last Ship, but the ex sailor in me cringes every few minutes they get shit wrong.

CAPTION CENTRAL

Someone’s over-compensating.

Where baby trucks come from. Our where libertarians are in charge.

All officers, be on the lookout for a hit & run suspect vehicle: a red & white truck with the words Coke on it.

I’m pretty sure there’s no such thing as accidental porn… but I could be wrong.

If only we had places like this in America, so all the racists were easily identifiable.

The ignorant are unlikely to catch the mistake, but are more likely not to buy it without a “USA Flag.”

Go watch a flood wearing your short shorts, because you’ll never need survival gear. Nope. Never.

Best friends are willing to show the world their ass so that you don’t have to.

WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!!!!!

I’m pretty sure there’s a back garage for getting car radios installed.

20140428: Storms & Tornadoes #ALWX

On April 28th, 2014, storms came through north Alabama and dropped a few tornadoes. We were waiting on the tornado coming into Hazel Green. Our radar went down and we were going on visual only. Visually, we noticed the line was coming in a bit further south than our last radar indication and quickly moved south. We only made it a few blocks before the tornado was on top of us. Luckily, we were on the south wall and able to position the car so that any debris would hit the back of the vehicle and not our side. Unfortunately, the video from inside the tornado does not exist. I thought that in our scramble to get in the car and get to a safe area, we knocked the power cable out of the dashcam, but upon reviewing the video, it is clear that I knocked the power cable out when I was re-positioning the dashcam to look forward again. I was excited about having video from inside the tornado only to be greatly disappointed when I got home and realized my mistake. The video stopped didn’t start back up again until after Fire & Rescue were on scene for the damaged buildings.

The building we were parked in front of originally had been destroyed. Had we remained where we were at, bricks and chairs and other debris would have been thrown into our car and we would have been at clearly what was the worst winds of the tornado. The tornado took down trees and did minor damage to the houses we were in front of, destroyed the building we were initially in front of and continued to do damage across the northern Hazel Green area and into Tennessee.

I finally got around to editing the video from the day, so here it is:

Here are some pics from the chase (you can click on the smaller image to see the full-size image):

Heading north into New Market, AL to chase the oncoming system.

 

Gorgeous!

Close call!

Stunning!

 

This is the building we were parked in front of before we realized we were too far north:

 

 

 

 

We continued to drive south and took a few more shots of lightning: