This week on Twitter (6/8 – 6/14)
I must be going through MANopause: the Chamber of Secrets just made me tear up.
How come on the 40+ dating site I get returns for 20-year-olds? Talk about false advertising! Or did I join daddyissues.com?
99% of emails I get are Spam. Sure wish someone would email me a steak or two.
#SongsThatNeverGetOld – “Forever Young”
#YouDontKnowTheStruggleIf you weren’t duct-taped.
#YouDontKnowTheStruggleIf you shop at Dollar General instead of Family Dollar.
#YouDontKnowTheStruggleIf you think WalMart is cheap.
#YouDontKnowTheStruggleIf you’ve never eaten Ramen noodles for over a week.
#YouDontKnowTheStruggleIf you don’t understand the Hispanic hierarchy.
#YouDontKnowTheStruggleIf the intersection of 2nd & Main hasn’t appealed to you a couple of times.
#YouDontKnowTheStruggleIf prostitution wasn’t an option at your school’s career day.
#YouDontKnowTheStruggleIf you never went to Communion just because you were hungry.
#YouDontKnowTheStruggleIf if talk about White Privilege didn’t make you realize how hungry you were for a cracker.
I’m convinced half the world’s recipes were created by poor people figuring how to match the crap in their cupboards.
It’s sunny and thundering. Hmm… guess I better check on the alien invasion.
Losing your friend to a cyclops knocking him off a cliff is bad enough, but losing all the supplies in his backpack is even worse.
#NewObamaAdministrationMotto “Still Left of the Right”
#NewObamaAdministrationMotto “Once You Go Barrack, You Never Go Back.”
#NewObamaAdministrationMotto “Drones: Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.”
#NewObamaAdministrationMotto “Putting the Republican Back In Goldwater Republican.”
#NewObamaAdministrationMotto “At Least We’re Not the Rape Caucus.”
You can’t be mad at me for running into you if you materialize right in front of me. Stupid ghosts!
A Republican said something offensive about rape and women? That’s absurd, Republicans don’t do that! ;)
SCOTUS rules no patent of human genes. So much for that Biggus Dickus gene I was working on.
I aim to please… but sometimes I miss and get it on the tits.
Sitting here naked, covered in blood & tapioca, thinking, “It’s only 10:30? Now what am I supposed to do for another six and a half hours?”