Yes, Hugo Chavez is dead, but there were some under-reported headlines that came out of his death:
Sarah Palin reports, “I can see his corpse from my back yard.”
Kathryn Bigelow disappointed to learn Seal Team Six didn’t kill him, ending her new movie plans.
Dick Cheney insists Venezuela hiding WMD’s in Chavez’s coffin: Colin Powell prepares UN speech to prove it.
Two eyewitnesses see Chavez leave the building with Elvis.
Israel apologizes, saying, “Our bad, we thought he was a former Nazi in disguise.”
Russian KGB apologizes, saying, “Our bad, we meant to poison that other guy in the hospital.”
Donald Trump demands long-form death certificate.
United States formerly admits to having a secret cancer drone.
Bane upset: didn’t give Chavez permission to die.
Chavez corpse still getting more pussy than Aquaman.