This week’s attempt to be funny on Twitter from 2/22 to 3/1 (posted in order of Tweets).
Bukakke Balls #RejectedCereals
Dino Dongs #RejectedCereals
Dexter Splatter Bits #RejectedCereals
Too Good for Ethiopians #RejectedCereals
Rusty Wagon Wheels #RejectedCereals @ThatKevinSmith @RalphGarman
Rice KKKrispies #RejectedCereals
Bear Naked #RejectedCereals … oh wait, Kashi actually used that. Silly Kashi.
The psych profiles of everyone in the laundromat lead me to one conclusion: I’m on the set of Winnie the Pooh.
If we are so opposed to eating horse meat, then why do we say, “I’m so hungry I could eat a horse?”
christianmingle: boring women, hindumingle: Kama Sutra site, jewmingle: international banking, muslimmingle: blend in then press the button
#Daytona500 making rednecks redneckier since 1959. Well, at least it teaches them one shape from geometry.
#YouDidntStartFromTheBottomIf your shit rolled down hill at all.
#YouDidntStartFromTheBottomIf you ever ate a Puddin’ Pop.
#YouDidntStartFromTheBottomIf your family had a color television before 1972.
Hollywood version of the Red Tent? #redcarpet
Thank you #Oscars2013 for letting me know which movies I won’t like and won’t watch!
Wait? Why isn’t #curbstomp trending after #TheWalkingDead?
Trending on Twitter: #ThingsGirlsLike. Oh, that should go over like a 9-year-old cunt joke!
Finished writing my new bits: New Gas Oven, Pink Palace, and Stinky Simon. Try them tonight at Coppertopia Comedy!
She’s on a mission to figure out why a few African-Americans actually support the Republican Party: on the next #DonnaBrazileMysteries
Yay! My Internet is back up! Mediacom works in mysterious ways, so says their manual, chapter 7, verses 5-6. Amen!
I love that my new E-Cig flavor allows me to say, “I’m sucking on Vanilla Ice.”
Alright, who forgot to put milk on the list! #Budget2013
Veggies? We don’t need no veggies! Let’s just keep buying giant steaks! #Budget2013 #DefenseSpending
Okay Facebook, just because I’m in a relationship doesn’t mean you can start advertising engagement rings on my page. Sheesh!
Pat Robertson has convinced me to stop buying used panties from Japan: they may have demons in them. #BatShitCrazyPeople